True Story...

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, Maybe I'm blind!
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Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, Maybe I'm blind!
A women walks into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot."What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £20.""Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks."Well", replies the assistant, "It used to live in a brothel and as aresult its language is a touch wild and fruity.""Oh, I don't mind that," said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot." So saying she buys the parrot and takes him home.Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "Fiick me, a new brothel and a new madam.""I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home."Un-****ing-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters."Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes." complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet. A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home."In-****ing-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients.... How ya doin', Dave?"
 
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A guys friend dies and he inherits his parrot. As soon as the guy brings the parrot home, it starts swearing at him calling him a dumb c*nt, a f*kn a$$ole and so on. Whatever the guy does, he can't stop the parrot swearing. As a last ditch effort he sticks the parrot in the freezer. Even from in there the parrot keeps swearing. But all of sudden it stops. The guy thinks, oh sh!t, I killed the him. He opens the freezer door and the parrot hops out and says "Sorry sir for being so rude to you before. I just have one question if you can answer please; what did the chicken do?"