True Story...

[Pwizardo]

You're correct actually, she isn't...

OH YES SHE IS

This could go on for a while so let's just agree to put it behind you (and me)

 

[JamesL]

Boooooo hisssss at you both.

 

[Kes]

If I could change the colour of just one of the seven dwarves I would dye Happy.

 

[Viridis1886]

Just got back from a mammoth shopping trip and I'm exhausted. The hardest part was getting it's trunk and tusk into the boot of the car.

 

[Peter Grove]

It takes five minutes to walk to my local pub and twenty five to walk back. That’s staggering.

 

[Kes]

It takes five minutes to walk to my local pub and twenty five to walk back. That’s staggering.

Same with my pub amazingly.

But as the saying goes - I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

 

[santa sangria]

Same with my pub amazingly.

But as the saying goes - I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

That was (famously locally) written on the wall one of favourite pubs as a kid (I was a pub rat). Along with others: ”preserve life, pickle a squirrel” etc.

 

[Archer]

That was (famously locally) written on the wall one of favourite pubs as a kid (I was a pub rat). Along with others: ”preserve life, pickle a squirrel” etc.

My local-ish is full of kooky crap like this. I'll take notes next time I pop in for a (four) pint (s)

 

[Peter Grove]

 

[Kes]

If, like me, any of our members have ever been accused being "born in a barn" and want to talk about it ....

My door is always open.

 

[Archer]

If, like me, any of our members have ever been accused being "born in a barn" and want to talk about it ....

My door is always open.

My mum used that line on me a few times as a kid. Being 100% respectful of Dear Ol’ Ma Fox40, I’d remind her that a) she was there at the time, and b) our barn’s got about £2m quid of farm equipment in it so it’s always locked… so nerrrrrrr.

Once she realised you can’t ground a kid on about 30 acres, it was the slipper for me

 

[RefereeX]

My mum used that line on me a few times as a kid. Being 100% respectful of Dear Ol’ Ma Fox40, I’d remind her that a) she was there at the time, and b) our barn’s got about £2m quid of farm equipment in it so it’s always locked… so nerrrrrrr.

Once she realised you can’t ground a kid on about 30 acres, it was the slipper for me

Ah, a farmers boy? Livestock or Arable?

 

[Archer]

Ah, a farmers boy? Livestock or Arable?

Nags

 

[Peter Grove]

For the past 30 years I've received a Valentine's day card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.

 

[Kes]

My wife told me I can be a complete idiot sometimes.

It's so nice to get permission every now and again.

 

[Peter Grove]

Judas Iscariot: "So, are we all still on for the last supper tomorrow?"

Jesus: "The LAST supper?"

Judas: "Supper, I mean supper".

 

[Kes]

I know it's a long shot but does anybody know what a trebuchet is?

 

[Archer]

Everyone knows all about Karl Marx, but no one ever remembers his sister Onya and her invention of the starting pistol.

 

[JamesL]

Everyone knows all about Karl Marx, but no one ever remembers his sister Onya and her invention of the starting pistol.

No one ever talks about Ben's Mum, Eileen, either.

 

[RefereeX]

I know it's a long shot but does anybody know what a trebuchet is?

This actually is a true story on that subject, and was a very quick witted response I heard from a colleague the other week.

My colleague was trying to get some bits done and we have another colleague for some reason telling us about some ancient weaponry he'd seen at some exhibition or something, and was irritating my colleague who was trying to crack on.
'Will you go and do some bloody work of your own' he said
'Then I saw a trebuchet, do you know what that is?' the other guy said
'Yeah, it's like a catapult' I said
'Well actually, it's more of a sling' he said smugly
'Well in that case, trebuchet your hook' the first guy said.

Tickled me, that did.... anyways... as you were.