True Story...

[Peter Grove]

A police officer stopped me yesterday due to the terrible state of the sleeve on my cardigan, which is covered in small balls of fluff. I've been charged with grievous bobbly arm.

 

[Peter Grove]

I have a pair of Sooty and Sweep glove puppets for sale.

I'll take a fiver for them - I just want to get them off my hands.

 

[benmc]

I've been trying to think of something good to say about Switzerland, but I don't know much about it.

Although, the flag is a big plus

 

[Kes]

Apparently next week there's going to be lots of rane, hale, gails and thundah.

That's right, a really bad spell of weather.

 

[JamesL]

Apparently next week there's going to be lots of rane, hale, gails and thundah.

That's right, a really bad spell of weather.

Would have been better if you'd have written "bad spell of whether!"

5/10.

 

[Kes]

Would have been better if you'd have written "bad spell of whether!"

5/10.

Thought about it but realised it would have been at odds with the point of the first paragraph.

2/10 for you.

 

[one]

For some reason I always have a bad spell of whether.

 

[Viridis1886]

I've just been told I'm colour blind.

The news has come completely out of the green.

 

[benmc]

I got a rubbish thesaurus for my birthday last week.

It was rubbish

 

[one]

Why are you carrying a 9 foot book?
It's a long story.

 

[Kes]

Me to Mrs Kes: "So, what's your opinion on the state of English football refereeing then?"

Mrs Kes to me: "Rubbish to be honest! Absolutely crap!

Me to Mrs Kes: "Yeah I thought it might be - but let's hear it anyway .....

 

[OnlyUseMeWhistle]

Sorry Ant!

 

[one]

Today I learned if I turn my canoe upside down I can wear it as a hat. It's cap sized.

 

[Peter Grove]

It seems that the England players will not be able to vote in the General Election.

Turns out that when asked, not one of them could identify the box or was able to put a cross in it.

 

[FirsFox40]

It seems that the England players will not be able to vote in the General Election.

Turns out that when asked, not one of them could identify the box or was able to put a cross in it.

They certainly know how to spoil everything though.

 

[one]

Dad jokes, that's how eye roll.

 

[one]

I'm very good at guessing what's inside a wrapped present. It's a gift.

 

[one]

I'll go for a hat trick

www.Conjunctivitis.com
It's a site for sore eyes

 

[Tealeaf]

 

[Peter Grove]

This morning Siri said, 'Don't call me Shirley.'

Turns out I had accidentally left my phone in Airplane! mode.