True Story...

A&H International
I bought a pet rabbit for the kids last week.

It fed it the corner from my ham toastie on Sunday.
Then it ate a little bit of my cheese toastie on Monday.
Then a smidgeon of my mince toastie yesterday.

I found it dead today.

My landlord says he wants to talk to me about why the heating bills for my flat are so high.

I told him he could pop round any time, my door is always open.
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Two slices of bread got married. The wedding was amazing until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
Clubbers in Leeds are using dental syringes to inject liquid ecstasy directly into their mouths!

A dangerous process known locally as "E by gum".