Of course, you're quite right, the standard of officiating is not shocking per se, but it is shocking by most people's 'expectations'
Twofold, the standard of officiating is not as good as it could be (for many reasons IMO that I won't write a book about), but primarily it's because the 'expectations' are completely adrift from what is achievable by anyone (which I also won't write a book about)
VAR only serves to widen the gap between 'the standard' and 'the expectation', which then exacerbates the two-way vitriol
It is two-way though. Not just the endless comments about pundits here on the forum etc.... I sit in the car on shared travel on the way home from games and find it quite depressing to hear the way fellow referees speak about the participants they've just encountered. Aside from massaging their own egos, I wonder why most of them bother with refereeing