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A cold ref is a ref not concentrating on the game, so wear whatever you want to keep warm! And if anyoen takes the p***, it's a good starting point for banter (ie give it back!)

Our local prison's pitch was the maximum measurements - now THAT'S a diagonal! I always found that the inmates played hard but fair, and it was generally the away team who were the cheats and moaners. One time I refereed the inmates against the warders, like that film with Vinnie Jones and Jason...

Yes

Closely followed by my own voice

My whistle!

So the majority of you lot posting on here can't vary your tone on one whistle? It's a sad day for refereeing.......

That's what I said!!!!!!

Wear black, that's what 99% of referees in England wear, and if a club wants to wear black kit ,then report them and the league/competition can fine them. Sooner or later the club will realise it would have been cheaper to buy a different coloured kit than pay the fines!!

Play it, report it to the league. I once refereed a game where the away team wore black and white stripes, black shorts, black socks, but the back of the shirts were solid black. All the players said it was hard to differentiate me from the away team. I got a couple of short passes during the...

If everyone from one team wore different coloured shirts, how would you know who's in goal?

Hehehe LOSERS!!!!

Just buy a can of shaving foam!

Told you!

My physio gave me two types of stretch to do: a straight leg press and a squat leg press, with toes of other foot on the skirting and both hands on the wall. 30 seconds of each, on each leg, three times each, in the morning. Bloody kills doing it, but really shortens the "agony time" the day...

LOL no bias then Ryan?

100% penalty, reckless challenge and a DOGSO to boot!

Give the goal, and then run a long way away from the defence!

Mwaahahahahahaha!

I had a game last night, and though there wasn't any hail like at Stoke v Man Utd, the rain was being driven so fast by the wind into our faces that it might as well have been hail! Anyway, the strong rain kept coming in bursts through the first half, but the pitch was playing really well. The...

You worked in a hotel near Wembley when you met Howard? Did you carry his bags up to his room?