The Ref Stop

True Story...

Two dyslexics at the top of a ski-slope. They ask someone "excuse me, when you ski down the slope, should you go left to right, or right to left?". He answers "sorry guys, I can't help you, I'm a tobogganist". "Oh", they reply, "can we have 20 Marlboro?"
 
The Ref Stop
Male Logic - Critical Thinking At Its Best! :D
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: Oh about £3.00.
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman:
So a beer costs £3.00 and you've had 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at £270.00 . In one year, it would be approximately £3240.00 correct?
Man:
Possibly.
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend £3240.00 on beer, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at £64, 800.00 correct?
Man:
Erm...correct.
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a hight interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No.
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

:p
 
I've been going out with my girlfriend for about three years now and I’ve started to have erection difficulties.
We’ve got different ideas about what the problem is.

She bought me some Viagra.

And I’ve bought her a treadmill...... :rolleyes:
 
My first job I used to work in a Pet Shop, they fired me for stealing
I got caught with my fingers in the trill.

I'm not saying their child is ugly, but they feed it with a catapult.

A pony walks into a bar and starts clearing its throat loudly
"Are you ok?" asks the barman
The pony replies "Yes thanks i'm just a little hoarse"
 
I told my wife she has drawn her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

At the bank today an old lady asked me to help her check her balance. I pushed her over. I don't know why she was upset with me.
 
I couldn't understand why the ball keeps getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Last week my wife asked me to get her lipstick. I accidentally got her a glue stick. She didn't talk to me for days.
 
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