True Story...

[Kes]

You can never lose a homing pigeon.

If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

 

[richard ramjane]

me at the physio last night

 

[Kes]

I was at a cashpoint machine yesterday, and the old lady behind me told me her eyesight was very poor and would I be kind enough to check her balance for her?

So I gave her a light push and she fell over.

 

[Kes]

In other news...

I had a neck-brace fitted fitted last month.

Since that day I've never looked back.....

 

[Matthew]

My friend Gav died yesterday after taking heartburn tablets.

I can't believe Gavisgon...

 

[DB]

Actually laughed at that one

 

[SM]

Rip gav

And my will to live

 

[Kes]

Rip gav

And my will to live

This thread will endure butt. That was always the intention. Long may the humour continue.

 

[Kes]

Just been chatting via e mail to my mate who lives in North Korea.

I asked him what it's really like to live there and he said he can't complain.

 

[richard ramjane]

My dog ,Minton , ate a shuttlecock yesterday .... Bad Minton !

 

[HertsFinest]

A fish swims into a wall

"Dam"

 

[RegalRef]

How do you make an octopus laugh?

With Ten-Tickles

My kids love that one...

 

[HertsFinest]

I got sacked from my job at the toy factory

We were making laughing Elmo toys and I was in the department that had to conduct Test Tickles

It was an easy mistake to make

 

[DanCohen17]

Did I tell you about the time I worked a cardboard factory?

I earned a packet.

 

[HertsFinest]

Doctor doctor, I can't seem to stop singing 'the green green grass of home'

Ahh yes that sounds like Tom Jones syndrome

Is it common?

It's not unusual

 

[Alex71]

My wife and I are having a competition to see who can steal the most dog related stuff from our local pet shop ... I've just taken the lead!

 

[Matthew]

As a dyslexic plumber, can I just say how disappointed I am by the Chelsea Shower Flow.

 

[Kes]

As a dyslexic plumber, can I just say how disappointed I am by the Chelsea Shower Flow.

I knew a dyslexic devil-worshipper once....

He sold his soul to Santa.....

 

[DanCohen17]

Man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Dyslexic man walks into a bra...

 

[RefJef]

Reminds me of the dyslexic, insomniac agnostic:

He used to lie awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.