New 1st Time Ref 54 Years Old - Advice Please

[Graham B]

Good luck Graham, great start.

As everyone has said. You are new and everything is very clunky and difficult at the start, but this needs time.

You mentioned about talking to the coaches/managers for feedback. Absolutely, humanise yourself. Take somethings with a pinch of salt, but 95%+ of grassroot coaches are great people, just nobody likes losing. Listen to what they are saying, some of the best and most accurate feedback has come from coaches.

I always recommend reaching out to your FA with an email asking for a mentor. Just see if you can get one out for one game, to have a watch. It can literally be anyone more experienced than you.

Also something I wish I had done, is pop down and watch another referee (if you have the time). Not one at a higher league or anything, just someone experienced locally. Get involved with your local Referee Association too if it isn't too far away.

Great advice, thank you. I will find time to watch local games when I am not on to 'watch and learn'. Getting an FA mentor would be great. I will get a few games under my belt so I feel a bit more experienced and have ironed out some mistakes (hopefully), then ask if they will watch, assess and advise me so I improve and ensure I am on the right track. Thank you for your time. All the best Graham

 

[st john]

Good luck with Refereeing Graham , like you I was 50+ when I started, now 58 and covering 70 games a season including colleges and schools . It's definitely a role that will grow on you as you gain match experience.
I started with an U18 local derby and struggled to blow my whistle as there was so much going on, tackles flying in, off the ball clashes l actually lost track of recording the score and had it at 4-3 instead of 5-2 due to a mass con after a goal . My head was all over the place.

Now it's a case of picking up a feel for each game and knowing when you can let things flow or call fouls and slow a game down when needed and being strict with restarts.
If a game is close and heated and a goal is scored always be ready to head towards the goal in case any messing around and fighting over the ball ....then walk slowly back to the centre circle and record the goal ( hopefully in the correct column)

Like mentioned earlier, i started commentating to myself and if anyone questioned a decision I repeated out loud what I said in my head, this also led to better communication with the players.
For throws and ball out of play, shout the colour of the team who you are giving it to and then take a second to raise your arm or point to the corner spot etc.
Enjoy the rest of the season

 

[Graham B]

Good luck with Refereeing Graham , like you I was 50+ when I started, now 58 and covering 70 games a season including colleges and schools . It's definitely a role that will grow on you as you gain match experience.
I started with an U18 local derby and struggled to blow my whistle as there was so much going on, tackles flying in, off the ball clashes l actually lost track of recording the score and had it at 4-3 instead of 5-2 due to a mass con after a goal . My head was all over the place.

Now it's a case of picking up a feel for each game and knowing when you can let things flow or call fouls and slow a game down when needed and being strict with restarts.
If a game is close and heated and a goal is scored always be ready to head towards the goal in case any messing around and fighting over the ball ....then walk slowly back to the centre circle and record the goal ( hopefully in the correct column)

Like mentioned earlier, i started commentating to myself and if anyone questioned a decision I repeated out loud what I said in my head, this also led to better communication with the players.
For throws and ball out of play, shout the colour of the team who you are giving it to and then take a second to raise your arm or point to the corner spot etc.
Enjoy the rest of the season

Great advice and nice to hear I am not alone. Thank you for taking the time to help me. All the best Graham

 

[Graham B]

This is great advice. My son and I did this and it was really useful. We went and watched some step 6/7 stuff, but that makes chatting with the ref difficult. I'd ask your Appointment Secretary who would be a good person to go and watch. Watching and speaking to other refs is a massive help.

Also, try getting yourself some AR duties in a short while. Being part of a team of 3 is a huge help. As you've done lots of CAR for your kids you will already have a good base to build on. This was my route into refereeing too!

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I will contact the secretary and get a ref or 2 to watch, this can only help me improve and learn. Kindest regards Graham

 

[Trip]

occasionally had to really think which way was which for signing the correct direction.

Two quick tips for this. Before you point, shout "blue ball". That buys you time to get the direction right and everyone knows which way it's going. The worst thing about getting the direction wrong is players will get up in your grill for the terrible decision you just made, whereas having shouted whose ball it is even if you get it wrong you'll get quizzical looks rather than outright hostility.

After half time I repeat a phrase to myself like a mantra that indicates the direction, for example "yellows out of the sun".

When I started refereeing I did youth for most of my first season. At the end I did two or three adult games to see what it was like and found it much easier than youth. Much less whining.

 

[NWH70]

Similarly, I only qualified at 53 and remember my first two games vividly - quite similar to yours, really. U13 girl's game as they transitioned from 9s to 11s, so it was more about encouraging them and talking throughout the game; 2nd game was an older boys' game and a national cup quarter-final, though I didn't find that out until just after kick-off. Unnerved me a little as I started thinking about the procedure for penalties when I should have been focused on the game in front of me

I concur with much of what has been said:
- with experience (and I'm still trying to gain some), being confident even when inwardly unsure carries loads of weight. When I watch refs now, this is so evident - whistle, point and move away from the area. If you are unsure, the actions of the players can often tell you which way a decision should go;
- you don't 'give' cards out. The players ask for/earn/demand them for their part. My second game involved a few yellows and a red, that was the uncertainty gone after that;
- booking an individual for the team's cumulative misdemeanours can settle things down, including for dissent;
- I use the captains to relay my message to their players, I find a word in the ear can then quell some rising tensions;
- once I reflect on a game, I score myself on various aspects and keep a track. It's subjective, but it helps me think about aspects where I recognise I've not been as good as I could be;
- when the ball goes up in the air, it always comes back down so you don't need to follow the flight, use the time to scan around you for the positions of the players.

Nothing revolutionary there, just things that come steadily with the minutes.

 

[Graham B]

Thank you for your comments. Today was my 3rd Refereeing game - Adults Div 1. I was much more assertive today, said the colour first on throws and fouls to give me time to think if the direction, this worked great, and was advice I got here, thank you... Also, I had a chat with both full teams before the game to introduce myself and have a clean game etc, this went down well and certainly made me feel good. I got most decisions right and had a couple if incidents I would like to share for advice. A player didn't like a decision I made and swore at me in frustration from a distance. I called him over and told him I should be carding him for that as a straight RED, but I offered to let it go this time but a other incident and he's off.. Was this the right action or should I have at least Yellowed him?... I am game 3 and reluctant to card people. Foul wise I think the pep talk may have helped, or there were generally just nicer people than last week..The second incident happened after the final whistle as everyone was leaving the pitch. 2 opposition players (a way from me and that I didn’t see who did what) had a disagreement and looked like they were pushing each other and about to possibly fight. I blew the whistle loads and hard and ran over as others did and told them both to walk away in opposite directions to their coach; there were now a few players around too. This calmed it down and they both walked away. I had a chat with both players separately with the coaches. It was a but if a fall-out moment so I said, the game has ended so it did not need to go in my report unless either party had a problem with that and wanted to pursue it. They both opted to leave it and all was calm and happy again. Kindest regards Graham

 

[DazN]

I player didn't like a decision I made and swore at me in frustration from a distance. I called him over and told him I should be carding him for that as a straight RED, but I offered to ket it go this time but a other incident and he's off.. Was this the right action or should I have at least Yellowed him?...

What exactly did he say?

I certainly wouldn’t threaten to send a player off as you are setting yourself up for problems later especially if the opposition here you say it “you said you were going to send him off ref!”

 

[Graham B]

What exactly did he say?

I certainly wouldn’t threaten to send a player off as you are setting yourself up for problems later especially if the opposition here you say it “you said you were going to send him off ref!”

He said something like F ing hell F you ref..

 

[DazN]

He said something like F ing he'll F you ref..

RC OFFINABUS for me

 

[Graham B]

RC OFFINABUS for me

I read this online the other day, so I thought I was being leanient.
Law 12 (Fouls and misconduct) instructs the referees as to how they should react when a player, substitute or substituted player expresses a swear word. The player should be issued a red card

Advice incase it happens again will be appreciated.
Kindest regards Graham

 

[JamesL]

I read this online the other day, so I thought I was being leanient.
Law 12 (Fouls and misconduct) instructs the referees as to how they should react when a player, substitute or substituted player expresses a swear word. The player should be issued a red card

Advice incase it happens again will be appreciated.
Kindest regards Graham

We'd end up with no one left if we sent folks off for, simply, swearing.
Where it crosses the line is where it is offensive, insulting and abusive and that for me is generally where it becomes personal.
Of course we all have our own tolerance and opinion.
Higher up you go you also have to be able to sell it so it needs to be public.

 

[DazN]

That would be for swearing in general. Personally I wouldn’t be insulted by the “F****** hell Ref” but the minute he tags on the “F*** you Ref” he makes it personal and therefore I’d be deeming it OFFINABUS

 

[Graham B]

To be clear. I did not send him off or card him at all, just basically said not to say anything like that at me again or it is a sending off offence....I did not think it was appropriate to let it go when everyone heard it, so no one else decides to join in. Everything was fine after and we moved on very quickly. I enjoyed the game as a whole. Thank you again for taking the time to help me All the best Graham

 

[Graham B]

That would be for swearing in general. Personally I wouldn’t be insulted by the “F****** hell Ref” but the minute he tags on the “F*** you Ref” he makes it personal and therefore I’d be deeming it OFFINABUS

I agree.. its the 'F U Ref' line. The first bit is not aiming at me, so I am not bothered about that. Thank you again for the comments. All the best Graham

 

[DazN]

To be clear. I did not send him off or card him at all, just basically said not to say anything like that at me again or it is a sending off offence....I did not think it was appropriate to let it go when everyone heard it, so no one else decides to join in. Everything was fine after and we moved on very quickly. I enjoy3d tge game as a whole. Thank yiu again for taking the time to help me All the best Graham

You said it yourself, “if you do it again it is a sending off offence” … if it is the second time, then it was the first time.

 

[Pwizardo]

Thank you for your comments. Today was my 3rd Refereeing game - Adults Div 1. I was much more assertive today, said the colour first on throws and fouls to give me time to think if the direction, this worked great, and was advice I got here, thank you... Also, I had a chat with both full teams before the game to introduce myself and have a clean game etc, this went down well and certainly made me feel good. I got most decisions right and had a couple if incidents I would like to share for advice. A player didn't like a decision I made and swore at me in frustration from a distance. I called him over and told him I should be carding him for that as a straight RED, but I offered to let it go this time but a other incident and he's off.. Was this the right action or should I have at least Yellowed him?... I am game 3 and reluctant to card people. Foul wise I think the pep talk may have helped, or there were generally just nicer people than last week..The second incident happened after the final whistle as everyone was leaving the pitch. 2 opposition players (a way from me and that I didn’t see who did what) had a disagreement and looked like they were pushing each other and about to possibly fight. I blew the whistle loads and hard and ran over as others did and told them both to walk away in opposite directions to their coach; there were now a few players around too. This calmed it down and they both walked away. I had a chat with both players separately with the coaches. It was a but if a fall-out moment so I said, the game has ended so it did not need to go in my report unless either party had a problem with that and wanted to pursue it. They both opted to leave it and all was calm and happy again. Kindest regards Graham

I'm also quite a new-ish ref and certainly listen to the better ones on this thread already, but I found once I had my first red card (the easiest VC for a sub you'll ever see) I was much more comfortable using cards. If a player earns one they've earned it and we're obliging them.

I appreciate that it can be tricky when you've just started to get a feel for what should/n't be a card if you've not got a benchmark from prior experience.

All in all though it sounds like you're doing well so keep going and learning!

 

[Graham B]

I'm also quite a new-ish ref and certainly listen to the better ones on this thread already, but I found once I had my first red card (the easiest VC for a sub you'll ever see) I was much more comfortable using cards. If a player earns one they've earned it and we're obliging them.

I appreciate that it can be tricky when you've just started to get a feel for what should/n't be a card if you've not got a benchmark from prior experience.

All in all though it sounds like you're doing well so keep going and learning!

Thank you for your comments. Everyone is really helpful on here, and I know I can get sound advice. I have learned from my successes and mistakes over my first 3 games and implemented ideas learned from this forum. I am being completely honest, so I can improve over time as I gain more experience; and on here people can correct me and give opinions too, which is great for me. Thank you all for your comments. All the best Graham

 

[DJIC]

To be clear. I did not send him off or card him at all, just basically said not to say anything like that at me again or it is a sending off offence....I did not think it was appropriate to let it go when everyone heard it, so no one else decides to join in. Everything was fine after and we moved on very quickly. I enjoy3d tge game as a whole. Thank yiu again for taking the time to help me All the best Graham

I think you have managed the situation well. I think it is important to way up the issue the player might give you in the future, if you believe it really is a one-off heat of the moment and your advice is going to be heeded. Otherwise if not, then deal with it by sin bin or red card.

 

[Graham B]

You said it yourself, “if you do it again it is a sending off offence” … if it is the second time, then it was the first time.

I see. Thank you for the clarity. Stick to the rules of the game. All the best Graham