The Ref Stop

New 1st Time Ref 54 Years Old - Advice Please

Graham B said:
I see. Thank you for the clarity. Stick to the rules of the game. All the best Graham
Click to expand...

It is a bit of an art. We all have different tolerances and we all find different things offensive.

If it was a 'f*kn hell ref' I just take that as frustration and an acceptable part of the game.

A lot of things I read in to the intentions, are they venting a competitive frustration. Or are they trying to attack me personally.

I dish out sin bins for, 'cheat', 'idiot', that sort of stuff.

I've not had to dish a red for it yet. But no one has gone above and beyond yet.

Also there is there responsibility to protect others.

One thing I have learned is do not over engage during high temperature moments, as the players aren't going to be up for it and you'll just allow them to talk themselves into the book.
 
The Ref Stop
OldNavyRef said:
It is a bit of an art. We all have different tolerances and we all find different things offensive.

If it was a 'f*kn hell ref' I just take that as frustration and an acceptable part of the game.

A lot of things I read in to the intentions, are they venting a competitive frustration. Or are they trying to attack me personally.

I dish out sin bins for, 'cheat', 'idiot', that sort of stuff.

I've not had to dish a red for it yet. But no one has gone above and beyond yet.

Also there is there responsibility to protect others.

One thing I have learned is do not over engage during high temperature moments, as the players aren't going to be up for it and you'll just allow them to talk themselves into the book.
Click to expand...
Brilliant advice, on the money for me. Thank you...All the best Graham
 
OldNavyRef said:
It is a bit of an art. We all have different tolerances and we all find different things offensive.

If it was a 'f*kn hell ref' I just take that as frustration and an acceptable part of the game.

A lot of things I read in to the intentions, are they venting a competitive frustration. Or are they trying to attack me personally.

I dish out sin bins for, 'cheat', 'idiot', that sort of stuff.

I've not had to dish a red for it yet. But no one has gone above and beyond yet.

Also there is there responsibility to protect others.

One thing I have learned is do not over engage during high temperature moments, as the players aren't going to be up for it and you'll just allow them to talk themselves into the book.
Click to expand...
"Cheat" is for most referees an unacceptable word, which IMHO is worthy of a red card.
 
I’m 41 and have just started. My second weekend refereeing just gone and after reading posts on here I upped my communication. Basically commenting the game “good tackle”, “all ball”, “shoulders” and “no foul” etc. this led to almost no dissent or questioning decisions as the players knew what was coming before the whistle.

Also praising players if they do something positive, good ball, great tackle etc builds rapport.

That being said when the temperature rises you need to rise with it too. At that time you take no s**t. You don’t banter. You’re the boss.

Hope you keep enjoying it. Good luck.
 
Dan_EFC1878 said:
I’m 41 and have just started. My second weekend refereeing just gone and after reading posts on here I upped my communication. Basically commenting the game “good tackle”, “all ball”, “shoulders” and “no foul” etc. this led to almost no dissent or questioning decisions as the players knew what was coming before the whistle.

Also praising players if they do something positive, good ball, great tackle etc builds rapport.

That being said when the temperature rises you need to rise with it too. At that time you take no s**t. You don’t banter. You’re the boss.

Hope you keep enjoying it. Good luck.
Click to expand...
Great advice
 
@Graham B Some really good advice given on managing language, but honestly your management of it sounded good. Warning of the sanction next time and making that clear is a massive positive.

I'd agree with the incident after full time too. Players walking away and the situation has diffused itself, any further action there only inflames it.

Keep going, and keep asking things!!
 
Thank you for your comments. I will keep asking and checking to learn from more experienced referees like yourself. Got my first Adult cup game tomorrow. Been reading up on DOGSO, SPA and penalty rules etc. All the best Graham
 
Graham B said:
Thank you for your comments. I will keep asking and checking to learn from more experienced referees like yourself. Got my first Adult cup game tomorrow. Been reading up on DOGSO, SPA and penalty rules etc. All the best Graham
Click to expand...
Make sure you know the competition rules too
 
Graham B said:
Will do. Thank you. All the best Graham
Click to expand...
We use the acronym YHTBT on the Forum. 'You had to be there'
Only you can judge verbal offences. Your tolerance will change with experience, but also according to the occasion, age group and level of football.
Hopefully, you're conversant with the 'language of football', gained through many years on the terraces or playing/participating in the game. That's where you learn what's expected and what goes too far. Is it Public? Is it Personal? Is it Persistent? Can't go far wrong with the 3xP's. Only need one of them for a Sin Bin (or Technical Area Caution). Personal implies possible OFFINABUS, but not necessarily
 
Today, I was an AR for 2 academy teams U15. This allowed me to observe a level 4 referee and check my decision making to theirs and give myself a fitness test as they were both quite quick, glad to say I passed fitness ok :)
The teams were quite good, and I think I pretty much got the same decisions as the referee on pitch.
There was a hit the crossbar bounce online 'no goal', parents behind moaned as usual, so I actually explained to them when the ball went out for a goal kick about the 'whole ball over the line', they seemed to appreciate and accepted this. Should I have said anything? Luckily no comeback, maybe next time just carry on?
There was also quite tight offside 'no goal' I flagged. No one questioned it.
The referee thought I was absolutely correct with the 'no goal play on shout' as he looked to me for clarityand gesture to play on, and the offside flag too. This is giving me more confidence in my decision making for the future. Thank you Ref.
At the end of the game the referee even said he would put a report in that I did a great job!...I enjoyed being AR too, seems a bit less pressure to me than main referee. No major incident to report in today other than the above and a minor push and shove at a foul that the ref and I dissolved quite quickly as it happened infront of me approx 20 feet away.
I hope you don't mind my uploads. I'm just keeping you updated, I think it helps me clarify in my head, too. Thank you for reading. I am excited about what next week will bring. All the best, Graham
 
Last edited:
Graham B said:
A player didn't like a decision I made and swore at me in frustration from a distance. I called him over and told him I should be carding him for that as a straight RED, but I offered to let it go this time but a other incident and he's off.. Was this the right action or should I have at least Yellowed him?...
Click to expand...

It depends. It is sometimes helpful to address a player who has just told you to "**** off" immediately after a decision he doesn't like, pull his skipper in, and say "what do you think happens to a player who swears at the ref?" At which point you'll get "I wasn't swearing at you I was just ... "

Then you say "Yes, that's right it's a red card. I'll pretend I didn't hear it this time but I will hear it next time, understood?" Unless they are idiots they will say thank you and get on with the game.
 
Great stuff! Keep coming back. More!

(And yes, you answered your own question. Explaining decisions to punters is likely to end badly. You might get the tone right and get a good response, but it’s asking for trouble. As an AR be careful with explaining to players as well. Always support your ref and keep explanations basic, simple. Otherwise players will “argue” with you to undermine the ref’s control.)
 
Trip said:
It depends. It is sometimes helpful to address a player who has just told you to "**** off" immediately after a decision he doesn't like, pull his skipper in, and say "what do you think happens to a player who swears at the ref?" At which point you'll get "I wasn't swearing at you I was just ... "

Then you say "Yes, that's right it's a red card. I'll pretend I didn't hear it this time but I will hear it next time, understood?" Unless they are idiots they will say thank you and get on with the game.
Click to expand...
Thank you for yiur advice. Kindest regards Graham
 
santa sangria said:
Great stuff! Keep coming back. More!

(And yes, you answered your own question. Explaining decisions to punters is likely to end badly. You might get the tone right and get a good response, but it’s asking for trouble. As an AR be careful with explaining to players as well. Always support your ref and keep explanations basic, simple. Otherwise players will “argue” with you to undermine the ref’s control.)
Click to expand...
Lesson learnt. Thank you for taking the time to respond. All the best Graham
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top