My first taste of aggressive verbal abuse!

[Deleted member 3014]

The referee has let you and every other official on your league down by not binning that guy and making the relevant report to the CFA.

However, I wonder whether by not doing to correct thing and getting rid of him the referee has down you a favour, as the guy is less likely to make a report against you out of spite.

You keep saying the guy wasn’t a player, but he doesn’t have to be to be removed and get reported to the FA.

The referee can remove any coach etc and report them, and like a player they’d need to remove themselves to the changinhig rooms/car park etc, you just can’t show a card.

Spectators are a bit different, the referee wouldn’t speak to them, he would speak to the relevant team and tell them to get rid of the spectator, then you would report this to the FA and the club would face a fine for failing to control their spectators.

Finally, why do you feel that as an assistant you have no authority and no respect?

I’ve done loads of lines at various levels from Sunday League, up to Bostik development and women’s games at county representative level and I’ve never felt like that.

I felt that way before today & today proved my theory right.

Over the years the abuse at amature level that I’ve seen AR’s get in comparison to refs is a lot worse a hell of a lot worse.

 

[zarathustra]

I felt that way before today & today proved my theory right.

Over the years the abuse at amature level that I’ve seen AR’s get in comparison to refs is a lot worse a hell of a lot worse.

Strange, I’ve never encountered anything quite that bad when running the line.

Must be down to where you live, and what the players etc are allowed to get away with.

I know in my area anyone who spoke to an assistant like that would have been binned and reported to the FA in short order

 

[Ref Luke 2203]

Your probably right but I guess threatened some of us react in different ways.

Thats where player mentallity needs to go and official mentallity is needed. I sympathise with you as firstly, no one should have to be put in that position by a manager and secondly, that is not an easy change to make.

Just keep going, keep learning and don't be so defensive about your faults. There was an incident. You have reflected, got advice and know thought about how to improve. Next time you will handle it a lot better.

Ps. Also think about the good decisions you made and things you done well. Constant criticism wont help you. Im sure you have many good qualities as a referee and lino. Dont forget about those also!!!

 

[Big Cat]

How do forumites think the FA would deal with this fracas, if faced with a report of it on Monday morning? Just out of interest

 

[JamesL]

If its a club official they can be removed as per law and if it is a spectator the club should deal with it and be reported. If they dont and you feel threatened you abandon the game, I would threaten it first, and then again report to the FA.

What you cant do is rise to it, plain and simple. Sometimes its hard, true, but you really need to change your mind set of if xyz does such and such I am going tl fight with him. Havi g those thoughts are more likely to result in that situation arising. What you need to do is to start to formulate a plan lf what you will do/handle it in future. That way if it does happen your first thought wont be to become an aggressor yourself.

 

[one]

How do forumites think the FA would deal with this fracas, if faced with a report of it on Monday morning? Just out of interest

Depends on the FA. The aplogies and the kiss and make up at the end would have a big impact on any sanctions.
My local FA would do f all. My local RA would have a meeting with the referee and the AR and depending on their reflection and how they would handle the same situation in the future, its a minimum repremand as a minimum up to a suspension of a few weeks.

 

[Ref Luke 2203]

How do forumites think the FA would deal with this fracas, if faced with a report of it on Monday morning? Just out of interest

I would like to think punishment for the club and/or manager. Unfortunately I can see a case for suspension for the lino too in this situation. It would be hard to argue against either in this situation. Saying that, I have no experience of a situation like this so just my thoughts really.

 

[Hilly1618]

MIB I am sorry, I am fairly new to this forum but long in experience as a player, referee and club official. Having read a number of your posts I wonder as to your suitability to referee. I am sorry if my comments appear harsh but your response to this verbal abuse and subsequent apparent defence of your actions when taken alongside some of your other posts concerns me. I can see potential for you to be assaulted or assault someone else if you continue. If you are adamant to continue then please find yourself a local mentor and work closely with them to assist your development.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

MIB I am sorry, I am fairly new to this forum but long in experience as a player, referee and club official. Having read a number of your posts I wonder as to your suitability to referee. I am sorry if my comments appear harsh but your response to this verbal abuse and subsequent apparent defence of your actions when taken alongside some of your other posts concerns me. I can see potential for you to be assaulted or assault someone else if you continue. If you are adamant to continue then please find yourself a local mentor and work closely with them to assist your development.

Never have I been or have I assaulted someone on a pitch in 20yrs of playing.

I haven’t carded someone in six games due to the good nature of my games, I haven’t had a single incident as a referee.

Two appointments on the line and nothing but abuse, todays team are known to the police known to the league the local FA & have been in the local papers, they are used to getting away with it & thought I’d follow suite, they were wrong.

I have great faith in my local leagues teams and players having played in them for years, this isn’t something I expect on a regular basis or like you say it just wouldn’t be worth it id rather call it a day than put up with verbal abuse every Sunday like a lot of officials do.

 

[RustyRef]

It doesn't matter that you are on the line, you are still a match official. Once he abuses you say nothing, take a step onto the pitch and put your flag up to alert the referee. Explain calmly what happened and if the referee knows what he is doing the person involved will be removed. It doesn't matter that he isn't a player or coach, the club is associated with has a duty to remove him and until they do the game doesn't restart.

Had it come to blows you would now be in severe trouble. Authorities are always harder on match officials who get involved in violence, and rightly so as they are supposed to be the arbiter of law and responsible. Had punches been thrown you would be looking at many months, if not years, away from the game, and that would be from all football activities not just refereeing.

 

[zarathustra]

Never have I been or have I assaulted someone on a pitch in 20yrs of playing.

I haven’t carded someone in six games due to the good nature of my games, I haven’t had a single incident as a referee.

Two appointments on the line and nothing but abuse, todays team are known to the police known to the league the local FA & have been in the local papers, they are used to getting away with it & thought I’d follow suite, they were wrong.

I have great faith in my local leagues teams and players having played in them for years, this isn’t something I expect on a regular basis or like you say it just wouldn’t be worth it id rather call it a day than put up with verbal abuse every Sunday like a lot of officials do.

But they did get away with it. The bloke was told to simply move around to the other side of the pitch.

He should have been sent to the changing rooms/carpark and reported to the FA.

The reason teams get away with it is because people like your former level 4 referee don’t do what they should do.

 

[Mintyref]

Spot on stupid me. Lesson learnt mate.

Please grow up MIB. You're acting like a petulant child when you post stuff knowing you won't like the answers.
Take the flak when you deserve it and the plaudits when you do well. You will get both.
We're you wrong? Yes.
Why not tell us what you should have done if only you'd not lost your rag.

 

[one]

MIB. Can I suggest you sleep on this subject a couple of nights. Then come back and re-read all the comments. You would be thinking a lot more with your head than your heart.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

But they did get away with it. The bloke was told to simply move around to the other side of the pitch.

He should have been sent to the changing rooms/carpark and reported to the FA.

The reason teams get away with it is because people like your former level 4 referee don’t do what they should do.

Probably right I guess I didn’t give the ref a chance to do that as I was inches away from removing the fella from consciousness.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

MIB. Can I suggest you sleep on this subject a couple of nights. Then come back and re-read all the comments. You would be thinking a lot more with your head than your heart.

Yep your right I’m a heart on your sleeve kinda guy. I’m chilled now I just wish everyone on here had seen the incident I’ve made myself sound like a headcase when really I’m not.

I just lost my sh*t will be very interesting if I’m put in that situation again, I mean we actually shook hands after the game and he appologised about three times, surely that shows I had Atleast half a reason to react the way i did,

 

[RobOda]

With respect please read my post again, I wasn’t the ref & it wasn’t a player.

With respect. You were an assistant referee, and were acting in an official capacity, so nothing that I have said is irrelevant here. You seem to be dodging the issue here, which is that your approach to the matter is completely at odds with how an official is meant to be acting.

But I will say no more on the matter, do as you wish.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

Please grow up MIB. You're acting like a petulant child when you post stuff knowing you won't like the answers.
Take the flak when you deserve it and the plaudits when you do well. You will get both.
We're you wrong? Yes.
Why not tell us what you should have done if only you'd not lost your rag.

Like i said lesson learnt I’ll keep my refereeing activity to myself from now on.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

With respect. You were an assistant referee, and were acting in an official capacity, so nothing that I have said is irrelevant here. You seem to be dodging the issue here, which is that your approach to the matter is completely at odds with how an official is meant to be acting.

But I will say no more on the matter, do as you wish.

I just think it makes a huge difference when your in the middle with cards & authority, also makes a huge difference when your dealing with a player that has a level of respect for you.

Being an AR & dealing with a spectator is a different ball game all together.

 

[Deleted member 3014]

I did say AR wasn’t for me it’s part of refereeing but it’s done nothing but hinder me so far.

Anyway see how we go, if I get verbal again and I react again then maybe the whole thing isn’t for me, be a shame if that is the case coz I was just starting to enjoy it.

 

[Sheffields Finest]

Can't wait for your first post of someone trying to knock your block off ... It happened to me on a few occasions and you have to hold back every sinew inside that wants to retaliate, its a lonely place at times and you have to turn off certain buttons inside that if the same thing happened on the street you would have grounds to retaliate.