The Ref Stop

Intimidation

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I once got into a yelling debate with a player at 20 yards. Went on for 10 to 20 seconds
One of those unwanted learning experiences after which a pledge is made 'never to repeat'. Unfortunately, the only real way to improve, is to stumble across the wrong way to go about things
I felt like a right tit
 
The Ref Stop
I find most players wilt if you just stand up to them and look unphased. More so if you bring the card out.

Nine times out of ten players trying to be intimidating are all bark and no bite. There's not much point worrying about the one out of ten times though, since if they cross the line there's nothing you or anyone else can reasonably do about it, so don't let fear rule your refereeing.
 
one said:
You mean card them or just bring it out but not card them?
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Both I guess. Personally I only get the card out if I'm going to caution/dismiss them. If I want them to think twice, I bring out my notebook instead. :D
 
As a fairly new ref I've made the point to senior peers that I've just not experienced players attempting to intimidate me. They stand up, look at me and sometimes step in towards me but always stop about three or four foot from me. I guess it helps I'm 6'3? Sorry if that doesn't help....
 
Durovigutum said:
As a fairly new ref I've made the point to senior peers that I've just not experienced players attempting to intimidate me. They stand up, look at me and sometimes step in towards me but always stop about three or four foot from me. I guess it helps I'm 6'3? Sorry if that doesn't help....
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You just haven't done any difficult games yet then (I'm 6'3 btw, 6'5 in high heels)
 
RobOda said:
Both I guess. Personally I only get the card out if I'm going to caution/dismiss them. If I want them to think twice, I bring out my notebook instead. :D
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For new refs: Never pull a card from your pocket unless you are going to use it. You are going to look weak. You can sometimes get the similar effect while putting your hand in your shorts pocket where you keep the card--the threat is implicit.

Big Cat said:
I once got into a yelling debate with a player at 20 yards. Went on for 10 to 20 seconds
One of those unwanted learning experiences after which a pledge is made 'never to repeat'. Unfortunately, the only real way to improve, is to stumble across the wrong way to go about things
I felt like a right tit
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Again for new refs: @Big Cat learned from his mistake--and thanks this site, you can learn from it without having to make that mistake yourself! Yelling a players is a losing proposition--you don't have to yell because you hold the cards. (Sorry about the pun...) As referees, we don't have to win arguments or get players to agree with us. We just need them to comply with appropriate behavior. Calm does that best. And when it's done, you can simply say--calmly!-- that you have heard what they said but the conversation is over and we need to move on.
 
I have found over the years that, from the get go, where there is an infringement, not only to I blow my whistle loudly and for 2-3 seconds, I then in a very loud voice describe why I have stopped play. This sets the tone at the very start and, subconsciously, the players understand who is in charge. Maybe I've been lucky but I have been a refereed for more than 45 years and have never had to deal with physically threatening behaviour against me. Like I say, I may have been lucky but I prefer to put it down to man management.
 
Ben448844 said:
This season I've had someone's head in mine for abour 10 seconds trying to push me back and repeatedly saying "what are you going to do about it". Then when he was dragged off tried to get back at me (Although stood behind the other players who held him back, he's a coward). This was after I'd shown a red card to one of his team mates for the worst type of OFFINABUS imaginable.
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Out of interest, does your County FA not encourage you to abandon games when this happens?
 
Ben448844 said:
This season I've had someone's head in mine for abour 10 seconds trying to push me back and repeatedly saying "what are you going to do about it". Then when he was dragged off tried to get back at me (Although stood behind the other players who held him back, he's a coward). This was after I'd shown a red card to one of his team mates for the worst type of OFFINABUS imaginable.
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LOAFer said:
Out of interest, does your County FA not encourage you to abandon games when this happens?
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And then did you send him as well if you didn't abandon?
 
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