Worst abuse and threats I have ever received.

[Ori]

I don't think it will have an effect on this, but I would advise against any contact with either club when there has been a serious incident that is going to result in an extraordinary incident and likely disciplinary charges. Instead refer the home club to the CFA and say that your report has gone to them, should that email become public in any way it could look as though you have sided with one club if it comes to a hearing.

That might sound OTT, but over the years many disciplinary charges have been found not proven because of the actions of the referee after the game. Sometimes emails, but more likely social media posts about what happened, if the charged teams or players get hold of these they will present at the hearing and use it to say that the referee was against them.

Thank you rusty.

Do you think I should have abandoned the game? I was stubborn here as the team was 3-1 down at the time and abandoning the match may have rewarded them?

I dunno. I need clarification of law on this for future occurrence.

 

[Ori]

Entirely your call, and based on several factors: mainly are you ok, is it safe etc.

With 7 minutes to go - about this time last season - a player punched me twice after getting a DOGSO red. His team were 2-0 down at the time, I felt physically fine and mentally sound, and - honestly - I think stubbornness came into it that “I’m not letting him ruin the day” - and we played the final ten after I’d made sure he had been ejected. Right decision? Dunno.

Jesus. That sounds horrific. I only had a ball in the face and the threat of being punched.

Horrific this happened to you.

 

[Runner Ref]

Thank you rusty.

Do you think I should have abandoned the game? I was stubborn here as the team was 3-1 down at the time and abandoning the match may have rewarded them?

I dunno. I need clarification of law on this for future occurrence.

When it comes to abandoning, take the score/result out of your thinking. You need to look after yourself.

Let the league/competition worry about the result/outcome.

 

[Ori]

When it comes to abandoning, take the score/result out of your thinking. You need to look after yourself.

Let the league/competition worry about the result/outcome.

Ok. Good advice. I didn’t feel under threat from the rest of the players and once the player was ejected I felt ok.

Then I had the parent after the match which if my phone was on my direct person, I would have called the police.

 

[RustyRef]

Thank you rusty.

Do you think I should have abandoned the game? I was stubborn here as the team was 3-1 down at the time and abandoning the match may have rewarded them?

I dunno. I need clarification of law on this for future occurrence.

Forget about the score, who is winning, etc. The only question you should ask yourself is do you feel safe and comfortable continuing the game. If yes carry on, if not abandon. That decision might be based on a number of factors, such as is the person that assaulted you still at the venue, are his team mates and the opposition protective of you, etc. If the remaining players are protecting you sometimes the worst thing to do can be to abandon, as you are then losing that protection and leaving the pitch to somewhere the guilty party may still be. There's no right and wrong answer though.

 

[Refollie]

Really sorry to hear about this - appalling behaviour.

If you suffer the misfortune of this happening again, definitely consider abandoning. Not just for your safety but it will accentuate how poor the behaviour was when discipline comes around.

Take a few days to compose yourself before the next run out and I hope this never happens to you again.

 

[southernerinthenorthstill]

Thanks. I wouldn’t admit it at the time, but I was genuinely afraid I was about to get punched by a dad.

I didn’t see him do it, but everyone else did. You are right that it’s important to note that I didn’t personally see it.

Firstly hope your ok only advice I have outside of what you have already done is make clear you are not saying you personally saw him throw the ball as you will no doubt be asked if he requests a personal hearing so best to be honest as you say there were witness should be bang to rights.

 

[Penguiny]

U18 boys match. Local Watford friendly league.

Game was pretty much without incident. Couple of bookings for fouls. Pretty much in good spirit.

5 minutes to end keeper (away team) decides to be an idiot.
Ball coming in and I can see he can’t get to it from within his box and I’m positioning myself so i can see the penalty box line (by the CAR). He then clearly grabs the ball outside the box with his hands. I blow and apply a caution. He argues it’s not handball as his feet were inside the box.
The ball was so far outside the box, everyone saw it. Wasn’t even close.
He then proceeds to square up to my face and tell me to F off.
At this point I issue the red card.
Now he starts threatening to punch me. His team mates are dragging him off.
I’m writing stuff if my book, and I feel the ball hit me in the face hard. The keeper had thrown it at me.
Forgot to mention he refused to give me his name for the yellow.

End of match I go to my bag and I ask the manager for the players name. At this point a dad storms onto the pitch and calls me the c word and squares up to me very threatening. Follows me around the pitch shouting obscenities.
Manager just constantly apologising to me and says this is unacceptable.

I’m walking to my car and said dad drives past me(in his Lamborghini), drops the window and shouts at me some more abuse using some very colourful language. Security guard heard it and took a photo of his car.

I’ve never had this before. Maybe I’m lucky.

I’ve filled in all the reports on the whole game, and have written to the clubs.

The home team have instantly banned the away dad from their ground for any of their matches. Not yet heard from away team and the guilty party.

once again, I’m not looking for agreement with any of my actions, but happy for constructive criticism/advice. I’m here to learn. Just keep it civil please.

Wow, I mean tbf im not surprised its U18 and watford, who have a bad reputation and many are aggressive.
For this reason I only like to ref up U15 as I am only U17 myself I would never ref anything over as they would be all over me. (well for now at least).

This being said dont worry too much about it, the past is the past, at least you didnt get in a fight and can move on.


(How old are you out of curiosity?)

 

[Ori]

Wow, I mean tbf im not surprised its U18 and watford, who have a bad reputation and many are aggressive.
For this reason I only like to ref up U15 as I am only U17 myself I would never ref anything over as they would be all over me. (well for now at least).

This being said dont worry too much about it, the past is the past, at least you didnt get in a fight and can move on.


(How old are you out of curiosity?)

So I find the league to be a bit tougher than the west Herts league. I’ve issued more red cards than I’ve ever done before.

I’m 48.

 

[Ori]

Firstly. Thank you everyone for the support. Especially to people who reached out to me by direct messages. It’s very much appreciated.

I’ve already been contacted by the fa about my report and asking for any further info. I’ve taken everything on board that has been said and I’m looking forward to my next match.

Thank you everyone.

 

[Penguiny]

So I find the league to be a bit tougher than the west Herts league. I’ve issued more red cards than I’ve ever done before.

I’m 48.

Clearly that kid is way too spoiled by his father considering his dad drives a lambo.
He’s probably usually used to getting everything he wants and getting away with anything so he thought the same would apply here. I wish you luck with this league. It needs a lot of mental fortitude

 

[one]

Late to this thread. Hope you are OK @Ori . You sound OK from your posts now . It's a terrible feeling after the game but it gets better as time goes by. I have not been assaulted but have come close.

A lot of good advice here. The only thing I would add is police report. You were physically assaulted and it is a matter to be reported to police, football or not. IT is also to put them on record and hopefully to discourage a repeat to someone else (again football or not).

When it comes to reporting to police, the question I ask myself is that if something like that happened I my usual workplace would I report it to police? The fact that it's recreational sport shouldn't make it less reportable.

 

[Big Cat]

So I find the league to be a bit tougher than the west Herts league. I’ve issued more red cards than I’ve ever done before.

I’m 48.

It is a more difficult league than the WHYL
Just the fact that it covers North London urban areas, whereas the leafy WHYL is out towards the affluent commuter zone
The Watford Friendly League has a better RefSec however, with much better referee coverage

 

[Kes]

Further question. Why is handball an c1 offence option in whole game? If a handball isn’t a card offence and only if it’s a SPA, why have it?
Not arguing about the laws, but just curious.

The reason (to me) is obvious.
If the actions of the player by deliberately handling the ball are Unsporting (in your opinion) then of course you can caution for it. The fact is that 99.9% of the time there'll be a reason for the player doing that (normally SPA) but that's not to say you can't caution for a handball outside of that remit - especially when it's done deliberately, cynically or demonstrates a lack of respect for the game. It's also what the players would expect.

 

[ARF]

Thank you rusty.

Do you think I should have abandoned the game? I was stubborn here as the team was 3-1 down at the time and abandoning the match may have rewarded them?

I dunno. I need clarification of law on this for future occurrence.

Where a player/club are found to have caused a match to be abandoned due to misconduct, the points would be awarded to the opposition regardless of the score at the time.

Continuing the match after an incident like this is very risky, even if at the time you believe you're physically and mentally ok to carry on (which could turn out to be incorrect in hindsight). Had anything further occurred during the rest of the game, then the argument could be used that your judgement was impaired due to the previous incident.

As for daddy coming on the pitch after the game to tell you what a great job you did, as this is U18s this is a safeguarding issue as well as a disciplinary issue, so I would speak to your CFA just to make sure it's been passed on to the safeguarding team.

 

[Russell Jones]

The reason (to me) is obvious.
If the actions of the player by deliberately handling the ball are Unsporting (in your opinion) then of course you can caution for it. The fact is that 99.9% of the time there'll be a reason for the player doing that (normally SPA) but that's not to say you can't caution for a handball outside of that remit - especially when it's done deliberately, cynically or demonstrates a lack of respect for the game. It's also what the players would expect.

You're right that certain specific actions are SO Unsporting that they deserve / require a YC even if their tactical impact wouldn't strictly meet the threshold for SPA. Other examples tend to be things like extreme holding (think rugby tackle ). However there is also a large subset of handballs that are clearly deliberate but should NOT be carded, especially as this runs the risk of perpetuating the players' myth that deliberate handball is always a YC (doubtless driven by your 99.9% comment).
As it happens, I had one as an AR at the weekend ... ball is going harmlessly out for a Blue throw in, Blue defender grabs the ball before it crosses the line in effort to take a quick throw in. I flag, ref gives FK, cue massive appeals that it "must be a yellow card". As such, we need to be very choiceful about pulling out cards for deliberate offences (fouls or handballs) which have no significant match impact.