My game today

[RegalRef]

I spent 20 minutes removing pieces of plastic from all over a schools pitch that had been chewed up when the grass was cut.

The teams were vile when we kicked off. I remember thinking about 10 minutes in I wished I hadn't bothered.

I also had a guy come up looking horribly concerned just before kick off 'ref ref, there's dog **** on the pitch over there'

'Ok, just tell that chap there, the home manager, his name is Dave and I'll hold on until it's sorted'

'But aren't you going to sort it ref?'

'No. Daves your man'

 

[Sheffields Finest]

'There's **** on the pitch ref'..... 'I know, 22 fking lumps' you slyly think under your breath.....

 

[Darius]

I once had home team manager tell me about 5 lots of dog excrement and how I should clean it up.

He was new I think. Bless him.