The Ref Stop

Help with this one please

O

Ori

Well-Known Member
I feel I overreacted on a decision.

So u18 girls match. Players tussle in the box and no foul, but defender goes down and attacker scores. Defender stays down so I call the manger to give her assistance.
As he walks past me, he says free kick? I say no, he then says “you’re awful”
I question him and he says he said “that’s awful”
I sent him off as I believe he said “you’re awful the first time”
I mull over this and feel that yellow would have been better, but obviously I’ve shown the red. End of match (ended 4-4), he is at gate and isn’t being aggressive or anything but is adamant he said “that’s awful”, I tell him that I’m thinking of lowering it to a yellow card, but he then says “I’m telling the league I don’t want to have you ever again”

Added history here. They lost in a final and they felt they were hard done by in that final as I didn’t send off a player for DOGSO. 3 refs of the pitch, plus the ref secretary all agreed with me that a defender was coming across and hence not DOGSO, but he obviously is still upset about that as he mentioned it before start of the game.

So before I do my match report, what are my options? I do feel I was harsh with the red, but then His attitude stinks too.

Advice please.
 
The Ref Stop
If he tells them you sent him off but you report it was yellow, you'll be in a lot of trouble when you get found out (emphasis on when because if a manager admits to that, the CFA aren't arguing!). If you think his comments after the match were uncalled for/unnecessary or otherwise, add them into an ER in addition to the red card. I won't say whether I feel it's a YC or RC though, as that comment really is one that would be different for everyone.
 
Nah go with that you hear first... although saying "you're awful" isn't really a red for me. But I am not there and you where so. If he's looking for an explanation at the end, then fine, but for him saying what he did, I hope the league tell him where to go. I wouldn't even have discussed the last game either as it is not relevant to how you will referee this game. History is history.
 
Yeah. I kinda reached for red instinctively rather than a yellow which in retrospect was more appropriate.

“You’re awful” from the touch line or ref that’s an awful decision is nothing, but to walk past me on the pitch and say it is a no no for me.
 
Ori said:
Yeah. I kinda reached for red instinctively rather than a yellow which in retrospect was more appropriate.

“You’re awful” from the touch line or ref that’s an awful decision is nothing, but to walk past me on the pitch and say it is a no no for me.
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So will that red cost him some dosh?
 
"you are awful" without aggression is a yellow for me for the same reasons you thought retrospectively. However on OFFINABUS first instincts are usually right.

Also I advise against telling players or coaches of you are thinking of lowering a card. This is one of the reasons they approach referees after the game and ask "are you going to put that in ref?". If I think a send off may have been harsh, I'll advise them to appeal it.
 
Nothing wrong in law with sending off for that as 'you're awful' can be considered insulting language. Put the red in since that's what you did. If you get that phrase again in future then show yellow if you feel that's more appropriate. More would probably go yellow because it isn't swearing, but it's not wrong in law to go red.
 
The “you” always gets me thinking about red. That makes it personal. I’m probably not sending off for “you’re awful”—depends on tone and volume as well as the context of the match.
 
socal lurker said:
Unfortunately? Nah. Maybe it will help him behave more appropriately next time.
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Not if he misheard which he admits he may of he learns nothing but may not help the original poster in future what’s done is done but if on reflection you think you misheard put it in the report as if not you may trip over yourself in a hearing if he request one.
 
southernerinthenorthstill said:
Not if he misheard which he admits he may of he learns nothing but may not help the original poster in future what’s done is done but if on reflection you think you misheard put it in the report as if not you may trip over yourself in a hearing if he request one.
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I don’t think I misheard. I think he changed what he said when he repeated it.
I still think I was harsh, but what’s done is done and I will learn and move on.
I also believe, that I don’t understand why coaches make refs have to make a decision. There is no need to.
 
Think the context matters too. If he’d already brought up old news at the beginning of the match, “you’re awful” probably a tick higher than if you’d never seen him. You’re right: probably just yellow next time. But it’s also on him for earning a reputation with an official, reminding said official before the game, and then saying something when he should have been seeing to his player. You don’t bear all the responsibility. Shake it off.
 
Ori said:
I don’t think I misheard. I think he changed what he said when he repeated it.
I still think I was harsh, but what’s done is done and I will learn and move on.
I also believe, that I don’t understand why coaches make refs have to make a decision. There is no need to.
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You said earlier I believe that implies your not sure therefore will probably have issues at a hearing.
 
as an addition to this, presumably it was said for all to hear too including players and parents/spectators? It’s just unacceptable he n Ed’s to keep his opinion to himself. There is still too much of this and much worse towards referees, showing a red maybe the only way that this manager will change his behaviour
 
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