The Ref Stop

F*ck off

Joshref

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I’m sure this has been discussed a million times in some form on here but I’ll restart the discussion.

Was watching an U13 game a few weeks back (why is there always some big incident when I’m watching a junior football game) when this happened. Home player is fouled by away player, and ref blows it. Away player offers his hand to pull him up when the offending phrase is said.

I never heard home player say it, but away player complains to the ref that the opponent had told him to “**** off” when he offered his hand. The ref says he heard it, walks towards the home player, and shockingly pulls out the red.

I talked to the ref after the match, and we got to the red card (the first I’ve seen at any age below U16 tbf) and I tell him I disagree with his decision, to which he seemed shocked. He said he’d always send off for swearing in a kids game as he considers it abusive. When I questioned this, he pointed out it was insulting language as well, clearly used as an insult, and also obviously offending as the player complained. The ref said he was gonna send off regardless but here he felt it was a nailed on red as everything in OFFINABUS was used.

Thoughts on this? I can see where the ref is coming from but I do respectfully disagree. I’ve never had to deal with swearing against a player myself before tbf. If I hear swearing I’ll normally issue a warning in a kids game, reminding them to watch their language (unless of course it’s directed an an opponent, I’m just talking about a kid having a dirty mouth here). If a player complains to me in a kids game that someone’s told them to “**** off” , which has happened a few times although I’ve never heard it, then I warn the accused player that if he did say it and I heard him then it’d be a yellow card.

If I heard a player tell another one to “f off” directly in a kids game then I’d caution. But a red feels a push for me. What is it for you guys?

Do you use a warning, caution or red here. If you red, what’s the code (surely OFFINABUS.) if you yellow, what’s the caution code?

Are you giving the same decision here as you would in an OA game or does the age of the kids affect it? Feel there’s an interesting debate to be had here
 
The Ref Stop
As I have recounted in this forum previously my son (then aged 14 or 15) was refereeing an Under-12's game.
He gave a free kick for a foul; the offender said "F*** off" directly to him.
My son said "Shall we pretend that I didn't hear that?"
The 11-year-old player said "I told you to f*** off"
@Joshref - are you suggesting a caution for that?
It's not what happened on the day.
 
I am not going to say I'd do this or if do that. I won't rule out any decision. I can confidently say I won't ignore it but it could be anything from a quiet talk on the run to a red card depending on many other factors.

In the case you explained, I'd back the referee. If he thought it was OFFINABUS then it was, even if I may have not sent off. This is something very hard to get consistent across all games and across all referees.
 
I had a pair of managers exacerbated following a recent game because I cautioned a player for saying 'f off you lanky c*' to the opposing GK
They had genuinely lost respect for me over the decision. They didn't appreciate, I'd done the kid a favour by not dismissing him
That's where we're at with the game (and society as discussed in Neymar thread)

WRT the OP, the R was within his rights to deem that language unacceptable. Age of the boys and context would be the determining factors for me
 
I would not disagree with the ref pulling the red but I would not have done it. ;)
Anytime I hear foul language at that age, if said in heat of moment, I would have a "please don't use bad language on the pitch", or if said more maliciously, I would give a more forceful response. Yellow if directed towards someone definitely. Youth football is about helping kids to be better people, not just match winners.

Last Saturday at an U18 game a player behind me used the "C" word in frustration at himself. I immediately blew the whistle and gave a free against. Not sure what infringement I would have gone with - likely USB if needed. I quite angrily told him I would not accept that very offensive word being said in a match I was officiating, particularly with kids on the sideline. He immediately apologized and we got on with the game.
 
In spite of what other members have written here, there is no caution code for OFFINABUS. Same as there's no caution for SFP.

For me, if I encounter this scenario, I:

1. Ignore it.
2. Have a strong word (ie educate regarding the LOTG)
3. Red card it.

It sounds to me like the referee in this case, would possibly have happily gone with either 1 or 2 above but was left with no choice but to act in accordance with the LOTG because:

a. He heard it

and

b. A player reacted/complained.
 
To hop on this thread I had a junior game a while ago (I think U13) and one player whenever he misplaced a pass would moan and say " oh for f***s sake" or "f**k off"

The other teams manager wanted him sent off for this.

I opted not to. My reasoning being that he wasn't saying it to anyone and therefore it didn't constitute OFFINABUS.

Was I wrong?
 
To hop on this thread I had a junior game a while ago (I think U13) and one player whenever he misplaced a pass would moan and say " oh for f***s sake" or "f**k off"

The other teams manager wanted him sent off for this.

I opted not to. My reasoning being that he wasn't saying it to anyone and therefore it didn't constitute OFFINABUS.

Was I wrong?

Nope, you weren't. You could have had a word with the kid though.

Even though the manager was clearly (probably) being a bit of a dick, the fact that he complains about it indicates that he may well have found the language OFFINABUS. ;)
 
In law this referee was correct. What you might be able to do is ask could he manage it? That's each referee's personal prerogative.

I've had a similar situation. I aim to do as follows:

If I've heard and I know the player knows I have heard it -> they are off

If I've heard it but it's unlikely the player knows I heard it -> I'm happy to play deaf, don't need to go looking for problems ("oi! I heard that!")

Now if there's been a bit of argy barjy in an otherwise quiet game and the offended party says it in dismay, I'd be happy to try manage that. It's not a question you can give the same answer to for every game. Game context is very important. What I'd do in one game may not be what I'd do in another game. You do what you feel the game needs (so long as it's within law ofc, which this referee was).
 
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To hop on this thread I had a junior game a while ago (I think U13) and one player whenever he misplaced a pass would moan and say " oh for f***s sake" or "f**k off"

The other teams manager wanted him sent off for this.

I opted not to. My reasoning being that he wasn't saying it to anyone and therefore it didn't constitute OFFINABUS.

Was I wrong?

If it wasn't aimed at an individual, then no you weren't wrong. Now it may be offensive to listen to, especially at U13. I'd have a talking to the player, tell him he's older and carries responsibility now. Try big him up a bit and make it out to be a shame for him because it's his job not to do it. Kids respond to this stuff.

These kids are victims here. What awful examples have their parents set them. Rather than setting them up nicely for life they've set them 5 steps back and facing the wrong way.
 
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Edit to add regarding OA: If a player says it to another, I'm not getting involved unless I feel something has the potential to tip over. Adults say this to each other on the pitch. At my OA games you'd be at 7 v 7 if you went red for this every occasion. You are drawing all the attention onto you by going red for it alone.

However anything at me and it's red. We're alone out there, you'd get eaten alive if you tolerate that at OA. All in my own personal experience of course .. others may disagree.
 
Nope, you weren't. You could have had a word with the kid though.

Even though the manager was clearly (probably) being a bit of a dick, the fact that he complains about it indicates that he may well have found the language OFFINABUS. ;)
If it wasn't aimed at an individual, then no I don't think you were wrong. Now it may be offensive to listen to, especially at U13. I'd have a talking to the player, tell him he's older and carries responsibility now. Try big him up a bit and make it out to be a shame for him because it's his job not to do it. Kids respond to this stuff.

These kids are victims here. What awful examples have their parents set them. Rather than setting them up nicely for life they've set them 5 steps back and facing the wrong way.

I did speak to both him and the manager and it died down.

My worry was that if the warnings didn't work I didn't really have a leg to stand on. Agree it shouldn't be said / heard at that age but I just couldn't confidently sell that as OFFINABUS.
 
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I did speak to both him and the manager and it died down.

My worry was that if the warnings didn't work I didn't really have a leg to stand on. Agree it shouldn't be said / heard at that age but I just couldn't confidently sell that as OFFINABUS.

The warning serves many purposes. One of them is it gives you the license to go red the next time he does it. "You were warned." Easiest decision you can sell.
 
In spite of what other members have written here, there is no caution code for OFFINABUS. Same as there's no caution for SFP.

For me, if I encounter this scenario, I:

1. Ignore it.
2. Have a strong word (ie educate regarding the LOTG)
3. Red card it.

It sounds to me like the referee in this case, would possibly have happily gone with either 1 or 2 above but was left with no choice but to act in accordance with the LOTG because:

a. He heard it

and

b. A player reacted/complained.
Yo, I mean, there is USB however. Fairly unsporting behaviour if you ask moi. Anyway, every incident is on its own merits. I don't like to get pigeon holed by that crappy book however
 
If you really wanted to caution for this, you could probably just about fit it under "Adopting an Aggressive Attitude"?
Yeh cheers for this. It is why I mentioned in the question what caution code people would give. The ref asked me, if it Happened to me, what code I would caution him under and it had me stumped, but I did go with USB/Adopting an Aggresive Attitude. I guess it does fit under that really.

As I have recounted in this forum previously my son (then aged 14 or 15) was refereeing an Under-12's game.
He gave a free kick for a foul; the offender said "F*** off" directly to him.
My son said "Shall we pretend that I didn't hear that?"
The 11-year-old player said "I told you to f*** off"
@Joshref - are you suggesting a caution for that?
It's not what happened on the day.

Yeh you see I do agree with a red here, just shows there’s no definitive yes or no answer, context plays a huge part. Thanks for the replies so far everyone I always find this an interesting discussion, partly because OFFINABUS is such a subjective call.
 
The warning serves many purposes. One of them is it gives you the license to go red the next time he does it. "You were warned." Easiest decision you can sell.
I see what you mean having warned him. I just thought at the time that you wouldn't dream of giving it in an adult game so why alter the law so to speak because of juniors?

Aware we do so with some laws but for a red?
 
I see what you mean having warned him. I just thought at the time that you wouldn't dream of giving it in an adult game so why alter the law so to speak because of juniors?

Aware we do so with some laws but for a red?
I'm not so sure it's altering the law as much as it is adjusting your threshold and interpretation of the LOTG based on the game at hand. Our on pitch expectations should not be a million miles away from the player's expectations. When they are is when trouble can start. I learned this the hard way.

Adults are not expecting to be sent off for having a momentary 'f*** you' release of frustration. Kids however know this is very bad language and not words they'd get away with in any other official setting, or where there is a presence of authority.
 
I'm not so sure it's altering the law as much as it is adjusting your threshold and interpretation of the LOTG based on the game at hand. Our on pitch expectations should not be a million miles away from the player's expectations. When they are is when trouble can start. I learned this the hard way.

Adults are not expecting to be sent off for having a momentary 'f*** you' release of frustration. Kids however know this is very bad language and not words they'd get away with in any other official setting, or where there is a presence of authority.
Good point.

Always learning...
 
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