Open Age Absolute Disaster

[mikedn]

Well, where to begin? Match ended 3-3, six bookings, two penalties (inc. one in the last minute) and sent a spectator off. Ended with both teams cursing my name, refusing to shake my hand and me leaving rather quickly. And this from my first league game.

First half was pretty good I thought, a fair amount of dissent from the three of the away team players, including and most prominently their captain, home team 3-0 up at half time everything going swimmingly.

Second half, all hell broke loose. Lots of little niggling tackles, I let them go and shouldn't have done I know. Play then descending into tackles flying in and coach and spectators from away team as well as most of away team getting gobby. Five bookings for away team, three dissent and two for fouls. One booking for home team, bad foul on edge of the box which away team score from. Six in total.

Spectator who had been giving abuse since the beginning of half time for away team said I didn't know what I was doing said I was "f**king s**t" and "ruining the f'ing game". Went over to the away team manager who was very polite, I confirmed the spectator was with him and then manager asked him to get over the other side of the barrier.

Lots of dissent from away subs too, saying I needed to add time on and a few came over to me at the end to say that I blew up early and should've added time on.

I booked no.5 from the home team and then booked no. 5 from the away team, then proceeded to show him a second yellow?! - I thought he'd already been booked, my mistake obviously damn stupid one at that. Cue lots of dissent from EVERYONE. Bad tackle by an away player, lots of dissent. 2 minutes left and he was squaring up, kind of, and getting in my face, said I would only book him as the game was almost over. I know that was wrong but I wanted to get out of there. Lots of them saying I wasn't fit to ref or that I'd ruined the game.

Last minute, home team 3-2 up, defender slides in the box, one leg initially but then two legs and tangled with the attacker, won the ball, but two feet I thought so gave the pen. Last minute 3-3, penalty scored, blew up.

Players all left, no one shook my hand. Away team players came over asked for my name said they'll be speaking to the FA. Away team manager who was very nice told them to go away and we had a chat. I told him this was my first game, he said as a tip to be firmer and blow up earlier. Agreed that it was a pen which was good.

Other than that, grabbed my bag and went to the car. Filed my misconduct reports, didn't take first names though so some players aren't appearing on whole game but I've put surnames and numbers. Filed misconduct for sending the spectator off too.

I don't know will the FA get in touch with me to discuss or anything? I imagine my scores from the teams will be awful.

Come away feeling dejected and bloody useless. Awful, guys.

Well, where to begin? Match ended 3-3, six bookings, two penalties (inc. one in the last minute) and sent a spectator off. Ended with both teams cursing my name, refusing to shake my hand and me leaving rather quickly. And this from my first league game.

First half was pretty good I thought, a fair amount of dissent from the three of the away team players, including and most prominently their captain, home team 3-0 up at half time everything going swimmingly.

Second half, all hell broke loose. Lots of little niggling tackles, I let them go and shouldn't have done I know. Play then descending into tackles flying in and coach and spectators from away team as well as most of away team getting gobby. Five bookings for away team, three dissent and two for fouls. One booking for home team, bad foul on edge of the box which away team score from. Six in total.

Spectator who had been giving abuse since the beginning of half time for away team said I didn't know what I was doing said I was "f**king s**t" and "ruining the f'ing game". Went over to the away team manager who was very polite, I confirmed the spectator was with him and then manager asked him to get over the other side of the barrier.

Lots of dissent from away subs too, saying I needed to add time on and a few came over to me at the end to say that I blew up early and should've added time on.

I booked no.5 from the home team and then booked no. 5 from the away team, then proceeded to show him a second yellow?! - I thought he'd already been booked, my mistake obviously damn stupid one at that. Cue lots of dissent from EVERYONE. Bad tackle by an away player, lots of dissent. 2 minutes left and he was squaring up, kind of, and getting in my face, said I would only book him as the game was almost over. I know that was wrong but I wanted to get out of there. Lots of them saying I wasn't fit to ref or that I'd ruined the game.

Last minute, home team 3-2 up, defender slides in the box, one leg initially but then two legs and tangled with the attacker, won the ball, but two feet I thought so gave the pen. Last minute 3-3, penalty scored, blew up.

Players all left, no one shook my hand. Away team players came over asked for my name said they'll be speaking to the FA. Away team manager who was very nice told them to go away and we had a chat. I told him this was my first game, he said as a tip to be firmer and blow up earlier. Agreed that it was a pen which was good.

Other than that, grabbed my bag and went to the car. Filed my misconduct reports, didn't take first names though so some players aren't appearing on whole game but I've put surnames and numbers. Filed misconduct for sending the spectator off too.

I don't know will the FA get in touch with me to discuss or anything? I imagine my scores from the teams will be awful.

Come away feeling dejected and bloody useless. Awful, guys.

Had 1st round cup match yesterday home side expecting to win and lost 3-4 needless to say almost same scenario as yourself got lots abuse from home spectators/players/management ( 4 cautions) racist comment after match (did not hear) players chasing each other. Threatened in the car park told not to return, unlucky for him he was still in kit and i'd already booked him.. reports all sent in.... Oh and the away team were brilliant no abuse to me or reacting to the home side, sadly just the racist comment at the end that i did not hear.
Been refereeing for 11 years now and i love doing it, and i'm not letting moronic idiots ruin what i love doing. I make a particular point of standing their and memorising their faces and all the abuse... and i cannot wait to referee another game for them, they might not like it but i don't give a flying **** So i say to you Dylan22 stay strong, water off a ducks back.
In previous posts i have commented about not having banter with players/management before,during or after a match. This is one reason why i don't other referee's will say different but its the way i am....

 

[Mewcenary]

Well done on your first game, OP. Tough out there, isn't it?

The mantra to remember is that YOU are the referee and that YOU are in control. As soon as anyone attempts to damage your credibility or take away match control in a game, take firm action.

That could be over a foul. It could be a comment made to you. Whatever it is, be firm. It may not need to be a caution. But any word should be 'laying down the Law' and being very clear that you're not going to be messed around. It sends a strong message to the player concerned and the teams overall.

 

[On The Game]

Well done on your first games, it will be by far the hardest one you'll do.

I remember my first game, it was 6 months after my basic course and was a vets cup game. Worst game ever, the rookie mistakes and the vets could sense the vulnerability (tip if you ever get the vets, they will try and push to see what you'll let them off with. Firm stance early on makes the world of difference with them). Very shaky game, in fact I had my mentor fill out an assessment for my development, still have it but I can't bring myself to read it - the words are supportive but I know what they really mean!

I find the biggest learning point is between game 1 and 2, you've got the unknown out of the way now, you can focus on improving your game and your positioning etc. Try and get a mentor there as often as possible but early days means you're still learning a lot about yourself, a mentor early on isn't always a good thing.

My second game (despite a RC for VC) went much better and was one of my best for match control.

One game is not enough to suss your suitability to taking charge of games, try and build a friendly but firm relationship with the players. Be choicefully honest with them and the respect usually grows. Enjoy it, it's a good laugh and we do it for the love of football, eh?

Keep us up to date on your next few games, both of you

 

[dylan22]

Thanks for all the helpful comments, chaps, they're all incredibly appreciated.

I had my second game on Tuesday night with the U-18s and it was an absolute dream. I set the stall out early with the captains saying I was going to be firm on any dissent, and there wasn't a peep from either team. In fact, I barely had to blow the whistle!

The U-18s both just wanted to play football and all got on with it really well, such a refreshing change from my first game and I got some nice feedback at the end too which was cool.

I've noticed that I seem to be having a bit of an issue with making decisions - I know it sounds strange - but I find in some cases that I have a slight delay between the ball going out of play and me remembering which team is going which way to point for the correct direction. I'm not sure if it's my slow reactions and my small brain taking time to process things, or if it'll get a bit easier to instantly call.

Anyway, feeling much better about the adults game on Sunday so thanks again everyone!

 

[PinnerPaul]

Thanks for all the helpful comments, chaps, they're all incredibly appreciated.

I had my second game on Tuesday night with the U-18s and it was an absolute dream. I set the stall out early with the captains saying I was going to be firm on any dissent, and there wasn't a peep from either team. In fact, I barely had to blow the whistle!

The U-18s both just wanted to play football and all got on with it really well, such a refreshing change from my first game and I got some nice feedback at the end too which was cool.

I've noticed that I seem to be having a bit of an issue with making decisions - I know it sounds strange - but I find in some cases that I have a slight delay between the ball going out of play and me remembering which team is going which way to point for the correct direction. I'm not sure if it's my slow reactions and my small brain taking time to process things, or if it'll get a bit easier to instantly call.

Anyway, feeling much better about the adults game on Sunday so thanks again everyone!

We've all been there on throw ins, especially early 2nd half or when you get to E/T.

Try saying, in your head or out loud, "red throw" first and then let arm follow.

On the 50/50s with no NARs, a quick decisive decision will often be accepted, If its a real 50/50 and/or unsighted go with defence.

 

[GraemeS]

We've all been there on throw ins, especially early 2nd half or when you get to E/T.

Try saying, in your head or out loud, "red throw" first and then let arm follow.

On the 50/50s with no NARs, a quick decisive decision will often be accepted, If its a real 50/50 and/or unsighted go with defence.

At the start of a match or soon after half time, for non-contested throws, I'll frequently shout the colour of the team getting the throw and not do any arm gesture at all.

 

[Paul Clarke]

@dylan22 Glad your second game was better - going to give it another try myself! Thanks of letting me hijack your thread as well and for everybody else's comments - really helpful.

 

[Kes]

@dylan22 - going to give it another try myself!

Nice one Paul. Top banana!!

 

[On The Game]

Thanks for all the helpful comments, chaps, they're all incredibly appreciated.

I had my second game on Tuesday night with the U-18s and it was an absolute dream. I set the stall out early with the captains saying I was going to be firm on any dissent, and there wasn't a peep from either team. In fact, I barely had to blow the whistle!

The U-18s both just wanted to play football and all got on with it really well, such a refreshing change from my first game and I got some nice feedback at the end too which was cool.

I've noticed that I seem to be having a bit of an issue with making decisions - I know it sounds strange - but I find in some cases that I have a slight delay between the ball going out of play and me remembering which team is going which way to point for the correct direction. I'm not sure if it's my slow reactions and my small brain taking time to process things, or if it'll get a bit easier to instantly call.

Anyway, feeling much better about the adults game on Sunday so thanks again everyone!

Haha I used to have exactly this! I knew who touched it but i don't remember which way to point! I think when you get on a few lines that goes and you get into the swing of pointing quicker. Good luck!

 

[boblardo]

If its any consolation my first game was thoroughly enjoyable despite having to award a penalty and show 2 red cards for S1. Next few games went well and I thought I had this refereeing business cracked. Then, boom, a "nightmare" weekend of games that left me feeling demotivated and ready to quit. Non stop verbals, confrontations from supporters, Red cards for OFFINABUS etc.

All I can say is learn from every game, I don't mean you need to spend hours micro analysing every incident but just a run through of the game on the way home, what could i do better, what did i do well. The "nightmare" weekend was the turning point and I feel I am a stronger referee for it, I am still learning but with each game you officiate you improve.

 

[Martiju]

Great advice boblardo! The key thing is to reflect on the game but don't let your demons get the better of you! If it helps, being concerned about what you might do better shows that you care and want to learn and improve, but you also have to let things go once you've reflected.

 

[DaleM]

I've noticed that I seem to be having a bit of an issue with making decisions - I know it sounds strange - but I find in some cases that I have a slight delay between the ball going out of play and me remembering which team is going which way to point for the correct direction. I'm not sure if it's my slow reactions and my small brain taking time to process things, or if it'll get a bit easier to instantly call.

Anyway, feeling much better about the adults game on Sunday so thanks again everyone!

Well done mate. On the direction/decision issue, follow the advice above and do a little searching on this forum for some more. I had the exact same issue (I've only refereed about 10 matches myself), but it thankfully does come eventually and the advice on here (there are a few hints and 'tricks') will help you to get there quicker.

If you're anything like me, you'll be keen to get there ASAP as I felt like a complete donut changing signal after a second or two, or delaying my decision. You still get the odd brain fart but thankfully most of the times decisions are so clear players get on with it themselves without instruction. The best advice I'd relay from on here is for 50/50 decisions whether for corners or throws, to act hugely confident in your action. I probably get lazy at times with my signalling, but when there's something well-contested I'm worthy of being on @CelebrityRefs.

@dylan22 Glad your second game was better - going to give it another try myself! Thanks of letting me hijack your thread as well and for everybody else's comments - really helpful.

Great to hear, Paul. One bit of advice that I'd give that I don't think has been given on here yet (unless I missed it) and that Dylan has almost accidentally stumbled upon is to try take some youth games first if possible. As you'll see above I'm not experienced by any means, but I think from the experience I do have that it's well worthwhile building yourself up a little.

Most of my games have been U16 & U17, and I'm sure anyone who's ever played football at that age will tell you it presents issues to deal with. But as Dylan alluded to, they're also a little more interested in just getting the game played. I have my first open age game on Saturday, and even then the ref secretary has noted to me that it should be a good one to 'ease me in'. Maybe it's worthwhile doing the same for yourself?

Edit: On a different note, it's great to see two new refs 'talked down from the edge'. Great forum

 

[2nd String Ref]

Dylan, Paul, hats off to you for sticking with it. Surely it will only get easier from here and you'll have a great story to tell the grandchildren in years to come.
I'm actually very surprised reading this forum at how your system works over there. Especially being appointed to adult leagues right after completing your qualification. Since doing mine I've only been given under age games and once as an AR for a high level under 18 game. Even observing the middle ref in that game I realised I probably wasn't ready for that level just yet.

 

[lincs22]

Dylan, Paul, hats off to you for sticking with it. Surely it will only get easier from here and you'll have a great story to tell the grandchildren in years to come.
I'm actually very surprised reading this forum at how your system works over there. Especially being appointed to adult leagues right after completing your qualification. Since doing mine I've only been given under age games and once as an AR for a high level under 18 game. Even observing the middle ref in that game I realised I probably wasn't ready for that level just yet.

We have shortage of referees that they used by Adult football when possible, even straight after qualification.

Is it the best system for retaining young referees = NO; but under age football is on Sundays and they may not be available to do junior football on that day.

 

[ref craig]

When I first started and in my first 3 seasons I was a mess but now 2 half seasons on I'm in a all time high I'm going for promotion I've already had 3 observations and there all standards with dissent now I'm always now do the following if I can give and go then I will but if then if a player runs 30 40 yards then I got enough to caution them I now always remain strong and think after a game what I should of done in this game and what I also could done better you'll get to a fase when it comes second nature.

 

[DaleM]

We have shortage of referees that they used by Adult football when possible, even straight after qualification.

Is it the best system for retaining young referees = NO; but under age football is on Sundays and they may not be available to do junior football on that day.

Following on from my above post, I had my first open age game on Saturday. One side was a development team. One of their lads commented that I looked a little young to be refereeing just prior to kick-off. I told him I was 22 with a smile (which probably made me older than most of his team!) and didn't hear another peep!

Again following on and more importantly getting to the point, there is absolutely not doubt the approach I mentioned above benefited me for the first open age game on Saturday. A fairly moderate game to handle, but I can't imagine how ill-prepared I'd have been for 2-3 of the situations that popped up. I managed to stamp down on things early on and I think that control led to me only booking one player throughout. I also got a bit of praise from the two bosses post-match which is always nice. That came despite my first experience of dog **** on the pitch. Unlucky for the home manager!

 

[ref craig]

Good lad your first dogso is always the one that gets you I've luckily only had one dogso by h and just felt sorry for the team afterwards

 

[lincs22]

Good lad your first dogso is always the one that gets you I've luckily only had one dogso by h and just felt sorry for the team afterwards

@ref craig - I don't think @DaleM had a refereeing decision, I think he actually dog s**t on the FOP.

 

[mikedn]

Following on from my above post, I had my first open age game on Saturday. One side was a development team. One of their lads commented that I looked a little young to be refereeing just prior to kick-off. I told him I was 22 with a smile (which probably made me older than most of his team!) and didn't hear another peep!

Again following on and more importantly getting to the point, there is absolutely not doubt the approach I mentioned above benefited me for the first open age game on Saturday. A fairly moderate game to handle, but I can't imagine how ill-prepared I'd have been for 2-3 of the situations that popped up. I managed to stamp down on things early on and I think that control led to me only booking one player throughout. I also got a bit of praise from the two bosses post-match which is always nice. That came despite my first experience of dog **** on the pitch. Unlucky for the home manager!

I have never picked up doggie do-dos, i always make sure home manager deals with that problem. Just hope the circus is not doing the rounds that weekend and walk the elephants yuk!

 

[lincs22]

I have never picked up doggie do-dos, i always make sure home manager deals with that problem. Just hope the circus is not doing the rounds that weekend and walk the elephants yuk!

Sheep is the worst.... Can be green, there is always lots of, and breaks up.
Or wet Cows .

The joys of refereeing in Lincolnshire in the early 1980's on local football fields.