The Ref Stop

4th match. First 11 a side.

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RayCharles

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First three games were 9 a side. Easy as pie. Absolutely simple.

Seen someone desperate for an U14 match ref and put my name down.

The match was a prem match and seen this after agreeing.

Arrived 30min pre kickoff. Met both coaches. Asked to help by making sure jewellery was removed. Said linesman clearly indicates fouls throws and offsides. Requested I am left to crack on and asked if there were any issues I needed to know about. Players etc.

Checked pitch. Removed a few twigs etc. checked match ball, goals, mouth. All good.

Forgot my coin. Great start. Rock paper scissors sorted that out.
Started both watches before whistle. Better to not fumble after match kicks off.

Didn’t get touched by the ball. Something I’m pretty impressed with. Scrappy affair and I allowed things to flow. Didn’t want to chuck cards about too soon.
Scuffle in the box in the last ten mins of the first half had me calling a player over. He was shouting and bawling at me for a tit for tat shirt grabbing altercation.

Explained away from others that I’m well aware of the other incidents and the one I’m pulling you here for. My pocket is zipped and i don’t want to have to unzip to start becoming the yellow happy ref.
Calm down. Final warning.

Went into half time 1-1.

Second half I seemed to lose the plot. Parents asking if whistle is broken. Me letting play ride. If not the game would have never really started.

Linesman wasn’t flagging for nowt. This was a nightmare as I missed some decisions and as there was no flag I called my own and players went to town as it was incorrect.

I did point to the right and say blue ball when I should have been pointing left. Chaos ensued.

Missed a studs to side of inner leg incident as back was to my view.

At least the other linesman was on the ball and helped greatly.

The lads left the pitch at full time and nearly all came over to shake my hand. Home coach was unaware it being my first 11 a side and said it was a huge step up by doing a higher level game as my first.

Got a free cup of tea and a chat with the chairman. My son who came along got a chocolate bar and a change to hear parents abusing his dad for 70mins.

What have I taken away from this?

There is a shortage of refs for a reason. That reason is. This is the hardest job in the world. Hands down. Refs need more respect. A soft touch would have easily crumbled today.

Done 11500 steps. Easily kept up at 48 and didn’t lose breath at all. Breeze in fact.

Things to improve on.

Everything really. Visually not just the ball but the surrounding players during corners. Being more strict where pushes and small 50/50 challenges are happening.

I let too much go. Let the game flow. Maybe I need to whistle a bit more.


I’m absolutely battered. Head was all over the place post match.

Hopefully I will look back on this post and chuckle.
 
The Ref Stop
RayCharles said:
First three games were 9 a side. Easy as pie. Absolutely simple.

Seen someone desperate for an U14 match ref and put my name down.

The match was a prem match and seen this after agreeing.

Arrived 30min pre kickoff. Met both coaches. Asked to help by making sure jewellery was removed. Said linesman clearly indicates fouls throws and offsides. Requested I am left to crack on and asked if there were any issues I needed to know about. Players etc.

Checked pitch. Removed a few twigs etc. checked match ball, goals, mouth. All good.

Forgot my coin. Great start. Rock paper scissors sorted that out.
Started both watches before whistle. Better to not fumble after match kicks off.

Didn’t get touched by the ball. Something I’m pretty impressed with. Scrappy affair and I allowed things to flow. Didn’t want to chuck cards about too soon.
Scuffle in the box in the last ten mins of the first half had me calling a player over. He was shouting and bawling at me for a tit for tat shirt grabbing altercation.

Explained away from others that I’m well aware of the other incidents and the one I’m pulling you here for. My pocket is zipped and i don’t want to have to unzip to start becoming the yellow happy ref.
Calm down. Final warning.

Went into half time 1-1.

Second half I seemed to lose the plot. Parents asking if whistle is broken. Me letting play ride. If not the game would have never really started.

Linesman wasn’t flagging for nowt. This was a nightmare as I missed some decisions and as there was no flag I called my own and players went to town as it was incorrect.

I did point to the right and say blue ball when I should have been pointing left. Chaos ensued.

Missed a studs to side of inner leg incident as back was to my view.

At least the other linesman was on the ball and helped greatly.

The lads left the pitch at full time and nearly all came over to shake my hand. Home coach was unaware it being my first 11 a side and said it was a huge step up by doing a higher level game as my first.

Got a free cup of tea and a chat with the chairman. My son who came along got a chocolate bar and a change to hear parents abusing his dad for 70mins.

What have I taken away from this?

There is a shortage of refs for a reason. That reason is. This is the hardest job in the world. Hands down. Refs need more respect. A soft touch would have easily crumbled today.

Done 11500 steps. Easily kept up at 48 and didn’t lose breath at all. Breeze in fact.

Things to improve on.

Everything really. Visually not just the ball but the surrounding players during corners. Being more strict where pushes and small 50/50 challenges are happening.

I let too much go. Let the game flow. Maybe I need to whistle a bit more.


I’m absolutely battered. Head was all over the place post match.

Hopefully I will look back on this post and chuckle.
Click to expand...
First things first - fair play and well done!!

Fair play for being able to reflect on your performance and take positives as well as constructive criticisms (sounds silly but it's genuinely really important to do both)

Well done on your first 11-a-side game!!

The fact nearly all of them came to shake your hand means either 1) they're all nice, respectful teenagers (not impossible) or 2) you've done a solid job and no-one feels overly aggrieved

Sounds like your warning was effective as it doesn't sound like you had any more trouble from that particular individual again.

We've all got our arms crossed on throw ins (there's probably a few threads on it somewhere 😂) so don't worry too much about that unless it's consistently occuring - at the end of the day throw ins are pretty insignificant decisions the majority of the time.

The only thing I'd say about reffing a "scrappy affair" is don't be afraid of 'suffocating' the game (I'm aware this is much easier said than done). If the teams are more interested in kicking each other than the ball that's when we can step in as refs and blow more frequently. Use every chance you get to slow the game down (free-kicks etc.) and try and use that time to let the angst disappear naturally. Ultimately sometimes it won't work and you just have to stay strict, but usually it works (perhaps with a quick 'team' warning to captains as well) and you can start to let the game flow a bit more.

Don't be afraid to blow for fouls even if you think they're a bit 'soft' - if you get questions: "a soft foul is still a foul" is your friend.

Don't worry about the parents - probably the worst group to have spectating in my opinion.

It sounds like you've kept up with the play, and that you're fit enough to do so - that will help you so much as you learn to use your positioning to sell your decisions so keep that up!

Finally, it's perfectly normal to be "head all over the place" after a game (especially one that's challenging) - don't let it get you down, maybe write down how you're feeling after the game with immediate reflections; I find it helps to come back maybe the day after to think more level-headedly about my performance.

But well done and keep asking questions!!
 
I am much the same, you deem yourself lenient and try and change that the next game. I'm quickly learning not to take the last game into the next stuff. But advantage is something a lot of teams appreciate, as long as you do it with common sense.

Here is the big question: Did you enjoy it?
 
Pwizardo said:
First things first - fair play and well done!!

Fair play for being able to reflect on your performance and take positives as well as constructive criticisms (sounds silly but it's genuinely really important to do both)

Well done on your first 11-a-side game!!

The fact nearly all of them came to shake your hand means either 1) they're all nice, respectful teenagers (not impossible) or 2) you've done a solid job and no-one feels overly aggrieved

Sounds like your warning was effective as it doesn't sound like you had any more trouble from that particular individual again.

We've all got our arms crossed on throw ins (there's probably a few threads on it somewhere 😂) so don't worry too much about that unless it's consistently occuring - at the end of the day throw ins are pretty insignificant decisions the majority of the time.

The only thing I'd say about reffing a "scrappy affair" is don't be afraid of 'suffocating' the game (I'm aware this is much easier said than done). If the teams are more interested in kicking each other than the ball that's when we can step in as refs and blow more frequently. Use every chance you get to slow the game down (free-kicks etc.) and try and use that time to let the angst disappear naturally. Ultimately sometimes it won't work and you just have to stay strict, but usually it works (perhaps with a quick 'team' warning to captains as well) and you can start to let the game flow a bit more.

Don't be afraid to blow for fouls even if you think they're a bit 'soft' - if you get questions: "a soft foul is still a foul" is your friend.

Don't worry about the parents - probably the worst group to have spectating in my opinion.

It sounds like you've kept up with the play, and that you're fit enough to do so - that will help you so much as you learn to use your positioning to sell your decisions so keep that up!

Finally, it's perfectly normal to be "head all over the place" after a game (especially one that's challenging) - don't let it get you down, maybe write down how you're feeling after the game with immediate reflections; I find it helps to come back maybe the day after to think more level-headedly about my performance.

But well done and keep asking questions!!
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Thanks for the insight and advice.

One thing that’s strange. I’m knackered. The running was fine. But my overthinking may have zapped my energy.

I must go into the next game with the emphasis on soft fouls. Stamp the game early. Not let nothing ride. The opposite of my approach today. Just to see the difference in how the match pans out.

Appreciate the advice.
 
Homer Ref said:
I am much the same, you deem yourself lenient and try and change that the next game. I'm quickly learning not to take the last game into the next stuff. But advantage is something a lot of teams appreciate, as long as you do it with common sense.

Here is the big question: Did you enjoy it?
Click to expand...
I hated enjoying it if that makes any sense at all.

I don’t enjoy discipline. Maybe why I let the game flow. Could be time to start understanding that the ref is pretty much the gaffa on the field.
 
RayCharles said:
I hated enjoying it if that makes any sense at all.

I don’t enjoy discipline. Maybe why I let the game flow. Could be time to start understanding that the ref is pretty much the gaffa on the field.
Click to expand...
No 2 games are the same.

One thing I would say is; don’t think that because you were too soft in one game, you need to become too strict in the next game. As you do more games and gain more experience, you’ll learn to read when to be soft and when to be firm. You could literally just have a 15 min period of giving soft fouls and then let it flow for the rest.

One piece of advice I got at a development meeting that always stuck with me was from Chris Foy. He used to say to referee the game in sections. Almost like small games. If you’re doing a game that is 30 mins each way, maybe referee it in 10 minute intervals. It helps with your concentration, but also makes you more aware of when you need to raise and lower your profile. If that makes sense!
 
Runner Ref said:
No 2 games are the same.

One thing I would say is; don’t think that because you were too soft in one game, you need to become too strict in the next game. As you do more games and gain more experience, you’ll learn to read when to be soft and when to be firm. You could literally just have a 15 min period of giving soft fouls and then let it flow for the rest.

One piece of advice I got at a development meeting that always stuck with me was from Chris Foy. He used to say to referee the game in sections. Almost like small games. If you’re doing a game that is 30 mins each way, maybe referee it in 10 minute intervals. It helps with your concentration, but also makes you more aware of when you need to raise and lower your profile. If that makes sense!
Click to expand...
Great analysis
 
RayCharles said:
I hated enjoying it if that makes any sense at all.

I don’t enjoy discipline. Maybe why I let the game flow. Could be time to start understanding that the ref is pretty much the gaffa on the field.
Click to expand...
Well done. First few games are always a whirlwind and you feel like you’ve gone 10 rounds with someone.

Three years in and I take little pleasure in YCs & RCs (with one or two exceptions). However we’re there to enforce the LOTG and protect the players/ensure a safe environment, and it gets easier. Majority of the time players understand and will be more annoyed with you for not enforcing them.
 
The Gump said:
Well done. First few games are always a whirlwind and you feel like you’ve gone 10 rounds with someone.

Three years in and I take little pleasure in YCs & RCs (with one or two exceptions). However we’re there to enforce the LOTG and protect the players/ensure a safe environment, and it gets easier. Majority of the time players understand and will be more annoyed with you for not enforcing them.
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And the same can be said for the vast majority of Club Secretary’s.
 
I've just hit two years and every game is an experience.

You will learn by practicing varying tolerances and management techniques. Learn some clever Catch phrases for varying situations. Quick ways to explain what's happened.

But most importantly understanding the laws.

So think less about being lenient or not lenient and think more about identifying fouls with a consistent approach.

There is never a time I see something I deem a foul and think to myself, I'm just going to let this 'flow'.
 
I've been reffing over 30 years and there's always something new to see or experience.

A lot of reffing becomes "gut feelings" and they will guide you once you've done 2 years or more.

Make sure you're enjoying it. If you are not question the reasons.
 
RayCharles said:
Thanks for the insight and advice.

One thing that’s strange. I’m knackered. The running was fine. But my overthinking may have zapped my energy.

I must go into the next game with the emphasis on soft fouls. Stamp the game early. Not let nothing ride. The opposite of my approach today. Just to see the difference in how the match pans out.

Appreciate the advice.
Click to expand...
Great OP! Well done.

Often match control isn’t about the fouls you give, it’s the things you don’t give and how you communicate those.

You don’t need to punish trifling contact to keep control. Think about how you show players you are “in the game”: yes, seen it, not enough for me, small contact, go on, normal football contact, bit of both etc.

And your body language. If you obviously following play, get a bit closer to problem players, bit of eye contact, make the players feel you, some proactive watch the hands, careful etc…

…there are lots of ways to help the players trust you;)
 
santa sangria said:
Great OP! Well done.

Often match control isn’t about the fouls you give, it’s the things you don’t give and how you communicate those.

You don’t need to punish trifling contact to keep control. Think about how you show players you are “in the game”: yes, seen it, not enough for me, small contact, go on, normal football contact, bit of both etc.

And your body language. If you obviously following play, get a bit closer to problem players, bit of eye contact, make the players feel you, some proactive watch the hands, careful etc…

…there are lots of ways to help the players trust you;)
Click to expand...
Thanks for that.

I’m going to ask in here instead of starting a new thread.

2 players outside the box. You spot them BOTH pulling each others shirts.

Who on earth gets the foul?
 
RayCharles said:
Forgot my coin. Great start. Rock paper scissors sorted that out.


I did point to the right and say blue ball when I should have been pointing left. Chaos ensued.
Click to expand...
Great post, sounds like a good learning experience for you. I echo all the other's comments and if only we could get the whole of the football world to referee a few games and see just how difficult it is, we might get a little more understanding!

2 things I wanted to pick up on...

Forgot the coin, rock paper scissors... a reasonable solution without a coin... you might think... but please be careful, because I know of a referee getting in trouble for doing this previously. It's a simple thing, but the laws of the game says it must be a coin flip.
I don't want to sound overly harsh as it's such a minor matter, but try and avoid having that situation again.

The second one about pointing the wrong way - it's incredibly annoying, but you won't find a referee in the world that's never done it (usually at the start of the second half when teams have changed direction)... even in the semi pro game - I've done it. It's always best to calmly slow things down and apologise and explain that you just used the wrong arm signal. If the team who are taking the throw in try to take it quickly, personally I would stop the from doing so and just explain it wouldn't be fair to let them go quick and you confused everyone with the signal. Just take a few moments to let things reset.
 
RayCharles said:
Thanks for that.

I’m going to ask in here instead of starting a new thread.

2 players outside the box. You spot them BOTH pulling each others shirts.

Who on earth gets the foul?
Click to expand...
There are 2 right answers to this. Neither of them is usually the attacker.

One of them is that there is no offence. I remember a directive from the EFL sent round earlier this season that 'mutual holding is not usually an offence'. Explain that both players were at it. Obviously if one players hold has zero impact on the movement of the other, but the other player is pulled down to the ground, that's easier to give it to that player, but usually no offence for mutual holding.

The other answer is to choose the path of least resistance and go defensive. If you feel you need to give a foul but don't know which way to give it, defensive is always the better outcome, as nobody will remember the foul that you gave to the defender a few minutes later, but if you give it to the attacker and they score from the free kick, then it's all that will be remembered.
 
RefereeX said:
Great post, sounds like a good learning experience for you. I echo all the other's comments and if only we could get the whole of the football world to referee a few games and see just how difficult it is, we might get a little more understanding!

2 things I wanted to pick up on...

Forgot the coin, rock paper scissors... a reasonable solution without a coin... you might think... but please be careful, because I know of a referee getting in trouble for doing this previously. It's a simple thing, but the laws of the game says it must be a coin flip.
I don't want to sound overly harsh as it's such a minor matter, but try and avoid having that situation again.

The second one about pointing the wrong way - it's incredibly annoying, but you won't find a referee in the world that's never done it (usually at the start of the second half when teams have changed direction)... even in the semi pro game - I've done it. It's always best to calmly slow things down and apologise and explain that you just used the wrong arm signal. If the team who are taking the throw in try to take it quickly, personally I would stop the from doing so and just explain it wouldn't be fair to let them go quick and you confused everyone with the signal. Just take a few moments to let things reset.
Click to expand...
If you forget the coin.

Decide whether you are going heads or tails, conceal an imaginary coin with one hand cupping the other, tiny peek from you, move hand to pocket, do it really quickly.

“Yes heads, do you want to KO or choose end?”

Confidence & it will work…. 🤣
 
I've seen people do it with grass. As for someone peering in from the outside. You can make it look like coin.

Huddle both captains around you.

I've got a piece of grass in one hand. Traveling captain guess.

You don't need to hold your hand out matrix style. Hold them closed on top of each other so from the outside it looks like you're doing a coin toss.
 
Great post. I'm a similar age and am 2 years in.

Sounds like you're reasonably fit. I'd use that to focus on being in the right position and keeping up with play. That's what I try to do and it compensates a bit for my inexperience.

Frankly, sounds to me like you gave the right mentality to be a very good ref.
 
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