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John J

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The Referee Store
I was just asking, do players where you guys are really HAVE TO shake your hand if they don't want to be booked or send off ?!
 
I don't quite understand why it's such a big deal, of course it's polite to shake hands at the end of the game but the player doesn't have to shake your hand.

If he doesn't, that's his business. Forget it and move on. Don't take it personally either, players refuse to shake hands all the time unfortunately.

It seems to me like you've made a mountain out a a mole hill so to speak.
 
You absolutely cannot demand that a player shakes your hand... Ridiculous to march other and demand a handshake in front of whole team and make a lemon of yourself.

If there is some schools rule (never reffed it) that means they HAVE to shake hands I apologise....

But if there's not.... It sounds like you've wound yourself up with this one...
 
I'm getting used to posting this now ... oh.dear.

You really insisted, in what reads as an intimidatory way, that an underage player shake your hand? I think you need to re-assess your role in the game and adjust your sense of superiority levels. You are there to serve the game, not intimidate young players. You got it wrong, you should not have even considered making your way into the player's huddle at the end of the game, you were wrong to do so and could rightly have been reported to the County FA for behaving in such an unacceptable manner.

I hope my thoughts on this issue are clear.
 
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There is a procedure for shaking hands which is stated clearly as happening before the game. There is no obligation on any player, coach or match official to shake hands with anyone else after the game. You were rude by infringing the player's personal space at the end of the game. You probably embarrassed him and his team mates. You need to re-think your approach to refereeing youth football.
 
I've reffed school football for the last 2 academic years and never come across a school who force every player to shake my hand. Does this bother me? Not a chance, his choice. Chances are I had nothing to do with him all game, not had to speak to him once so he has no particular reason to come and thank me for my services. Now I'm not saying I'd refuse a handshake from the player but I wouldn't take it personally if he didn't.
 
You seem awfully susceptible, actually why would you go and offer your hand to a player ? Let the ones who want to shake your hand come to you and let the other ones live, what's the big deal ?

I mean, you read that :

John J said:
I waited until he was in the team talk huddle, marched over and said loudly, "right number 14, last chance to shake my hand..." Under pressure with his peers looking at him he reluctantly did offer up a limp handshake.
Click to expand...

and don't see any problem ?
 
John J said:
We're dealing with teenagers who often find it easier to be rude than not, and lemon or not, I was not prepared to just accept that.
Click to expand...

This is the issue with society, this is slightly off topic but bare with me.

Quite a few people see the youth of today as people who take everything for granted and have no respect. Most of us are honest, decent people (as I think the younger members show on here) and we have the upmost respect, not only for each other but for and elders.

One of the only things that really pushes my buttons is when people make generalisations like this about young people. Rant over!
 
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Seriously?
These are teenage boys who are surly, awkward and rude.
As a school team coach I personally would have asked you to sling your hook to be honest and catch yourself on, and I'm surprised that didn't happen.
 
But what message did you pass to that guy when you said "ok last chance, you HAVE TO shake my hand" in a threat of send off action ? Do you really think that the guy though "Oh, that ref sure told me some moral !" ?
You clearly don't get the difference between the "code" and the "law"
 
John J said:
The FA respect code talks about a handshake afterwards as well.
Thanks for the scathingly sanctimonious response however. Yes, oh dear, mock yawn, you are clear. March the perpetrator to his FA!
Wrong of me to assume that there are moral standards anywhere in the game. Won't make that mistake again. Probably really upset the poor little lad.
Click to expand...
You're welcome.

You get to interact with this person on maybe 4-5 occasions during a 90 minute game, will probably never see him again and you think you can influence his moral standards? Yes, you probably have. You've probably taught him that if you're bigger/older/have a modicum of authority over someone, then by shouting at them loudly and embarrassing them in front of their friends, then you can get them to do what you want them to do. Well done guardian of moral standards.
 
Who cares if someone doesn't shake your hand, especially as you don't know where that hand has been!
 
I shake hands with managers when i arrive at the ground..... when i have the two captains together at the coin toss i shake their hands... At the end of the match i walk to both the linesmen to collect my flags if they gesture to shake hands i will..... if players approach me to shake hands i will......BUT i will never go out of my way to shake hands or insist on it.....It doesn't bother me if players don't want to shake hands why would it ??
 
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Moderators, remove this thread and my account.
 
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