The Ref Stop

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The Ref Stop
BCMilan said:
Nothing says they can't. They soon get the message when they realise you're completely ignoring them
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It doesn't. Ignoring low level decent just makes it worse. Because they also get the message that they are getting away with it. Sometimes it gets to a stage of abusive shouts and the referee is thinking "how did we get here?".


I must add, "constant appealing" is not really appealing anymore. Is dissent.

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OldNavyRef said:
One thing I would be cautious of is observers can be a little funny with you ignoring chirping.

As others have said, it is all white noise to me now. Genuinely doesn't bother me, I always confidentally and firmly reply to the chirps with something to let them know I acknowledge what they are saying and I don't agree with it.

I do start to react more robustly when it starts spreading but by then it is a genie out the bottle.

I have been watching a few referees on the supply league and the ones that impress me are often proactive against active moaning. Setting clear boundaries and as @santa sangria said, they isolate problem players and set out clear expectations.
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Us Observers are indeed a little funny if chirping is ignored, though you seem to be dealing with it appropriately. If it is completely ignored then the genie it’s very likely to come out of the bottle much earlier. Proactive management is very often the key to successful outcomes.
 
Kes said:
2. A reusable stock of standard responses, particularly for appeals over pushing, pulling and "hands on" challenges which is where most of the whining comes from.
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These can work, but also important to recognise when a response with a bit of an explanation just invites a conversation you really don't want to have.

I also like a brief response like 'not for me' that shows you've seen it and made a judgement rather than missing or ignoring it, but doesn't give anything specific to disagree with
 
Quarryref said:
These can work, but also important to recognise when a response with a bit of an explanation just invites a conversation you really don't want to have.

I also like a brief response like 'not for me' that shows you've seen it and made a judgement rather than missing or ignoring it, but doesn't give anything specific to disagree with
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Agreed.
However, once the whingeing continues in my ear after I've given a response, I'm then looking at dealing with dissent in the appropriate manner.
I'm fairly thick-skinned but once the moaning/appealing becomes a distraction to me, I'm giving a firm warning or going straight to the pocket.
You'll know yourself that players only do it because they've been allowed to get away with it for so long.
 
The Ginger Ref said:
I've even tried explaining certain decisions to players, such as the distinction between raising hands to protect personal space versus an actual push, which requires an extension of the arms. When it comes to throw-ins, I’ve used a line I picked up here: "It’s not pretty, but it’s legal."
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One of the ways to deal with the "foul throw" applies is - "This is not kids' football, so play on. I will decide whether it is not legal".
 
There will never ever be a one shoe fits all answer to this. As you progress and get more experienced, you’ll learn phrases and techniques that not only work for you, but also work for the situation.

Sometimes ignoring it can be the best approach to a point, sometimes a passing word, sometimes a public b*llocking. A large portion of it comes down to:
  1. your personality,
  2. the personality/mood of the teams
  3. your relationship with the players
  4. the temperature of the game.

As said above, having a few quick responses can help. But these can sometimes make things worse as well as better.

Hardest part is figuring out the low-level dissent vs a genuine question. A player screaming at you from 20 yards is easy for everyone to see. But a player continually questioning everything from a couple of yards can go unnoticed and be the start of a snowball effect.
 
One thought / approach I've found helpful is to very clearly differentiate in my mind between Dissent (in law, a mandatory caution much like a tackle deemed to be Reckless) and low level disagreement. The latter can (and should) be managed ... the former carded.
As for when disagreement turns into dissent, the three 'P's are useful ... is it Provocative and/or Public and/or Persistent . The OP references the last of these so finding the appropriate opportunity to 'nip it in the bud' (as others have said) is an ideal route through this.
 
FirsFox40 said:
Reminds me of a great typo / autocorrect where a new colleague told us they’d “booked him for dessert” 🤭
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one said:
I had a job application resume from a guy who was "responsible for ruining the entire project" 🤣. I so sympathised with him.
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My favourite example of this is an exchange between 2 colleagues of mine, one whose daughter was seriously ill in hospital.

'Hey, how is Hannah doing?'
'Yeah the doctors were really worried about her but its looks like she's past the worst and she may be coming home tomorrow'

Now the response back from the first person was intended to say 'hope she does!'

Now have a look at what's right next to the 'o' on the keyboard, and could replace the 'o' in 'does'...
 
I work in the outdoor adventure industry. We had a teacher wanting to check on whether we were able to provide waterproof gear. Unfortunately she asked if it was "possible to hire willies for the girls next week?"
 
one said:
Some of these are venturing in to unethical realms and I feel a combination of guilt and shame liking them 😞
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If it makes you feel any better, mine is absolutely a true story and the mum of the ill girl saw the funny side of it also (once she realised what was intended to be said) 😆
 
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