Witty comebacks

[Sheffields Finest]

Might wanna rephrase this Mick

Maybe he was impressed by his blowing technique.

 

[BlowingTheGame]

Player: Ref, you've got a whistle, use it!
Me: (fumbling in pocket): I've got these cards too...

 

[Sheffields Finest]

In my back ref! .... Nah.... he’s only after a cuddle!

 

[jofusref]

ld refereeing friend we cremating this week aged88, stopped reffing in his mid 70, player, when are you going to retire you old buggur,
joe mcgill ref, when i start making the right decisions son. ledgend

 

[jofusref]

another one, you dont know the rules ref
answer correct. look at the puzzzled look on the face,
no rules in football old chap 17laws lol

 

[ijamesmac]

From today's game, after Ref disallowed an advantage and Manager complained from the touchline, "....just giving you time to get your players in the box...you had one, now you have five!"

 

[Justylove]

Pacing out a free kick wall.

Player - **** me that's a big 10 ref
Me - Thats what my wife tells me every night
Player - Thats bull****
Me - Yeah, you got me, she never calls me "ref"

He didn't get it, but all his mates did and were wetting themselves laughing

 

[Sheffields Finest]

‘New distance today boys. 9.17metres’

 

[Andy A]

This one has always raised a few laughs whenever I've used it.

When a player is bordering on dissent I will say, "Listen player, if I had wanted to listen to complaining all morning then I would have stopped at home with the wife"

 

[Sheffields Finest]

I've used.....'Look, all these wives and girlfriends have had a mornings peace, what have I done to deserve your blather, lets just zip it or you're going home early and she's not expecting you!!!'

 

[Big Cat]

I've used.....'Look, all these wives and girlfriends have had a mornings peace, what have I done to deserve your blather, lets just zip it or you're going home early and she's not expecting you!!!'

He's got one foot on a banana skin and the other in the Sin Bin...... and he's slippin.....!
Taken from Sid Waddell who coined the phrase with 'Crematorium' instead of 'Sin Bin'

 

[Ciley Myrus]

I sometimes reply to team who are moaning the other team taking age to retrieve a ball for a goal kick, that.
"Instead of moaning to be, you could do something more constructive like go and help. Afterall, it was your team that kicked it there..."

 

[Jevon Swinscoe]

Had a player use the 'F**k me' line and the club were laughing at the highlights when they heard me say 'Not today thanks fella'