RefSix

Witty comebacks

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#22
When you spot some hugging / holding at a corner...... 'Oy, you two, can you exchange phone numbers after the game so you can meet up for a cuddle in your own time'! :angel:
 

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
#23
after a second caution for the same player today, someone shouted "your spoiling the game ref" my reply was "your joking its been ****e"
Nothing wrong with witty comebacks but I’d be careful with swearing. You'll struggle to control players language towards you if you’re using it towards them
 

Tino Best

RefChat Addict
#24
Never swear at a player. There are words that you can use which aren't swearwords and you could open up a can of worms if using naughty words.
 

deusex

RefChat Addict
#25
Player punched a ball yesterday to try and disguise a header out of his box

Player: Why are you booking me for that ref??
Me: Did you handball it?
Player: Yes
Me: Did you do it deliberately?
Player: (Smile emerges on his face) Yes
Me: Do I have to answer your question now?
Player: Probably not, no
Besides the fact all handballs should be deliberate you've just spread the myth that all handball offences require a caution.
In fact, I'd quite like to know what you cautioned him for?
 

zarathustra

RefChat Addict
#26
Besides the fact all handballs should be deliberate you've just spread the myth that all handball offences require a caution.
In fact, I'd quite like to know what you cautioned him for?
He just said, hand ball, keep up trigger...

But, in all seriousness it would require a bit more detail, I can’t actually remember the last time I gave a caution for handball maybe the season before last
 

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
#27
Besides the fact all handballs should be deliberate you've just spread the myth that all handball offences require a caution.
In fact, I'd quite like to know what you cautioned him for?
Unsporting behavior - deliberate handball to prevent a promising attack
 

deusex

RefChat Addict
#28
Unsporting behavior - deliberate handball to prevent a promising attack
Your wording "header out of his box" makes it sound like you awarded a penalty?
Which would make a caution for breaking up a promising attack some stretch.
I may have misread this
 

Brian Hamilton

I am the storm
Observer/Tutor
#29
Had a game today (yes I am back to refereeing) in the U14 County Trophy. Maroon attacker runs through, orange defender tackles and tries to pass to a team mate but the ball runs to an maroon attacker in an offside position (shout of offside from the touchline). Maroon attacker shoots and scores.

Question from the touchline, "Who played him on ref?" I say "No one because the defender played the ball to him". "Which one referee?" (was the reply)… you know what's coming next...

"The one in orange" I replied... cue apoplectic spectator. Meanwhile both Maroon and Orange players are laughing openly at him. In fact one kid laughed so hard I thought he was going to burst into tears.

I love football me
 
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Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#30
Had a game today (yes I am back to refereeing) in the U14 County Trophy. Maroon attacker runs through, orange defender tackles and tries to pass to a team mate but the ball runs to an maroon attacker in an offside position (shout of offside from the touchline). Maroon attacker shoots and scores.

Question from the touchline, "Who played him on ref?" I say "No one because the defender played the ball to him". "Which one referee?" (was the reply)… you know what's coming next...

"The one in orange I replied..." cue apoplectic spectator. Meanwhile both Maroon and Orange players are laughing openly at him. In fact one kid laughed so hard I thought he was going to burst into tears.

I love football me
Did you get assessed Brian?? ;) and did the Mentor turn up!!! :asshat:
 

Brian Hamilton

I am the storm
Observer/Tutor
#31
Did you get assessed Brian?? ;) and did the Mentor turn up!!! :asshat:
Daz I actually told one bloke I'd only been refereeing a few weeks before the game :)

Couldn't keep it up though and admitted "I'd done a few games", as well as tutor his son on his new referee's course about 7 years ago and yes I did know Andy Madley and Bobby Madley and no I wouldn't talk about it...
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#32
Hehe, I used that one few times, when you turned up to a Sunday League pitch battle and they ask you That question, I’d say it was my second game and not to worry, the first one got abandoned 😂

The look on their face when Mr B”stard pops out after a couple of minutes.... Welcome back Sir...
 
#33
Defender slide tackles an opponent, wins the ball cleanly and it goes directly to the goalkeeper who picks it up. Player who was tackled shouts "back pass ref". Ref replies "No, he's not that good!"
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#34
Loved it when you’d blow for a tripping foul and he’d say that he missed him..... ‘trips or Intended to trip sonny!, I’ll have you on the second part!’
 

one

RefChat Addict
#35
Attacker receiving the ball with back to a defender and is going for a soft touch control. Defender kicks the ball from behind attacker's leg (very close) and it goes out. I give throw in to attacker. Defender says "he kicked it ref". I say, "you either kicked the ball or kicked his lag into the ball. Take a pick." I always get a silent waking away.
 

zarathustra

RefChat Addict
#37
Had a cup game back in Jan.

Before kick off I'm going around doing my thing and get to the home team to do a quick jewellery and kit check.

get the normal "Do I have to take my **** ring out ref?", I reply with "No, I'm not worried about the little ones"

Got a good laugh and game went off OK and had a good rapport with the players.
 

one

RefChat Addict
#38
Who put him on ref? (After offside)
One of your defenders.
What's his number?
I didn't ask for his number. He is not my type.

I have actually used this a couple of times and got a few giggles for it :)
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
#39
Two players exchanging shirts at a corner...

Lads, can we please exchange telephone numbers after the game if you want to rip each other’s shirts off ❤️❤️❤️
 
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