The match couldv'e gone better

[lucy707]

Just wanted to emphasise what others are saying Lucy, you're doing fine by the sound of it. We all get things wrong at least once or twice a game, the great thing is that you are reflecting on that and working out what to do to improve.

Two things I will add. First, any criticism by players/managers is aimed at the kit and the badge, not at you personally. People complain to and about the ref every game - and they do that whether you're Howard Webb, Martin Atkinson or Jane who works in the chip shop on Sundays. It's not personal. Second, you are almost certainly the one person there who knows the Laws better than everyone else, despite what they say. Better than that, it's your interpretation that matters, not anyone else's.

Holding those two things in your mind will give you confidence that you are making the best decision you can, given what you've seen, so stick with it and show that confidence to everyone else by the way you blow your whistle and signal. The more you do so, the more those around you will accept that you're in charge.

Best of luck - and keep us informed of how you're getting on!

Thankyou!

 

[one]

Also comming in late and make an alaytical contribution But firstly well done for asking for advice. Willingness to learn is the first requirement to become better. There is a list of good advice above.

From your description it sounds like you should work on your confidence as a referee. Lack of confidence is extremely common in new and younger referees and unfortunately some coaches use this to their own advantage.
There is no easy solution to become confidant. It comes with experience. One good tip I received was to pretend you are confident untill you actually are.
Sell every decision you makes as though you are 100% sure of it. When you give a free kick a nice loud whistle. Every hand restart signal like throw in should be sharp with straight arm and standing up straight giving the body language signal of surity. If there is an appeal and you think there is no foul, a quick loud NO. This should all give the appearance that you are confident (not arrogant) and you are not going to put up with people trying to change your mind.

Lastly once you have restarted the games after a decision, get it out of your mind and put it behind you or it will lead to mistakes.

Enjoy you refereeing.

 

[lucy707]

Also comming in late and make an alaytical contribution But firstly well done for asking for advice. Willingness to learn is the first requirement to become better. There is a list of good advice above.

From your description it sounds like you should work on your confidence as a referee. Lack of confidence is extremely common in new and younger referees and unfortunately some coaches use this to their own advantage.
There is no easy solution to become confidant. It comes with experience. One good tip I received was to pretend you are confident untill you actually are.
Sell every decision you makes as though you are 100% sure of it. When you give a free kick a nice loud whistle. Every hand restart signal like throw in should be sharp with straight arm and standing up straight giving the body language signal of surity. If there is an appeal and you think there is no foul, a quick loud NO. This should all give the appearance that you are confident (not arrogant) and you are not going to put up with people trying to change your mind.

Lastly once you have restarted the games after a decision, get it out of your mind and put it behind you or it will lead to mistakes.

Enjoy you refereeing.

thankyou

 

[Big Cat]

@one is never far off the mark
Making mistakes is the easy bit, carrying them off takes confidence and experience, both of which i'm also working on...

 

[Tino Best]

I joined my local RA and there was a guest speaker who talked about confidence. What I got from the meeting was to reset yourself and to move on from a mistake. He said that if you have made a mistake to move on and put it behind you do something like pull your socks up, tuck your shirt in as a device to refocus and park it for the drive home. As for getting something wrong a loud whistle and strong signals will help most situations.

 

[Martiju]

Just one other thing, the fact you've raised this and got the comments you have (many from people who've been doing this a long time) shows just how crucial what you're talking about is to being a good referee - and to ensuring you enjoy it.

One good tip I received was to pretend you are confident untill you actually are.
Sell every decision you makes as though you are 100% sure of it. When you give a free kick a nice loud whistle. Every hand restart signal like throw in should be sharp with straight arm and standing up straight giving the body language signal of surity...

Couldn't let this pass without another hint/tip! Someone once told me two things to help with selling decisions. Use your voice as you need to - I'm not a loud person and it's insincere if I pretend, so what I do for myself is use the voice when I need to. So if I am absolutely confident, a big shout of 'No!' or 'Accidental' (for one of the many handball appeals) makes it look like I'm definitely clear about that. I then use this to my advantage when I'm not so clear, for example close calls for throw-ins near halfway. For those, I'll give the decision and as soon as people start to complain I'll point at one of the players and say '100% came off him', for example. That's what I think 'one' means about selling the message without appearing arrogant or aloof.

The other thing, which I struggled with a lot, was talking to players if I wasn't going to caution. Sometimes I would try and say my point, they would argue and, occasionally, then say something that warranted a caution or more. A simple phrase, for when they keep trying to argue or talk over you, 'ok, I've listened to you, now you need to listen to me', delivered calmly without sounding like a stroppy PE teacher, means that you can retain control of the situation without escalating it.