A&H

Over the top dissent

Q

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
Level 4 Referee
Had a game yesterday where dissent was excessive and the language used towards me was dreadful. Nothing threatening I might add, but one team would argue every single decision for and against them, accusing me of being biased and telling me how much of an awful ref I was. I attempted the stepped approach but the captain was as bad as the rest so cards had to happen but nothing worked so the cards kept coming. First half was 2 reds and 4 yellows. Half time came and the manager approached me, he began to accuse me of being biased and adopted an aggressive nature towards me. At this point, I abandoned the game. Although nothing threatening had happened towards me, I almost couldn’t bring myself to go back onto the pitch and subject myself to another 45 minutes of that.

Is there anything I should/could have done differently? I know some people don’t learn but I do think I was maybe a bit quick to call of the game. It was very much one of those times where you realise you are alone out there!
 
The Referee Store
Hey it's your call don't doubt yourself if you felt it was necessary to abandon the game then I wouldn't question it . Us refs are only human and we can only take so much head up and onto the next game ... hopefully a better one
 
Maybe you abandoned a little early :rolleyes:. Sounds like there would have been plenty of contributions to the County FA Xmas Party fund and one by one the game would have been easier. 11 v 9 and the result would have miffed them as well...... Happy days!!!
 
YHTBT
Was this youth or OA?
Assuming an abandonment necessitates an 'ER', what did you cite as the reason
 
QuaverRef said:
Had a game yesterday where dissent was excessive and the language used towards me was dreadful. Nothing threatening I might add, but one team would argue every single decision for and against them, accusing me of being biased and telling me how much of an awful ref I was. I attempted the stepped approach but the captain was as bad as the rest so cards had to happen but nothing worked so the cards kept coming. First half was 2 reds and 4 yellows. Half time came and the manager approached me, he began to accuse me of being biased and adopted an aggressive nature towards me. At this point, I abandoned the game. Although nothing threatening had happened towards me, I almost couldn’t bring myself to go back onto the pitch and subject myself to another 45 minutes of that.

Is there anything I should/could have done differently? I know some people don’t learn but I do think I was maybe a bit quick to call of the game. It was very much one of those times where you realise you are alone out there!
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Which was it? Either he was aggressive or he wasn’t?

If you weren’t fearing for your safety, I would have carried on carding until it was abandoned through lack of players........
 
I got called a ‘stupid fanny’ today. That’s a new one.
Had to control myself to not laugh.
I did caution for it though.
In the moment I was indeed a stupid fanny as I got distracted, the ball went out and I had literally no idea what happened or who’s ball it was.
 
Abeverley said:
I got called a ‘stupid fanny’ today. That’s a new one.
Had to control myself to not laugh.
I did caution for it though.
In the moment I was indeed a stupid fanny as I got distracted, the ball went out and I had literally no idea what happened or who’s ball it was.
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Hey Abs, There can only be one SF!!!! ;)
 
Abeverley said:
Ha ha.
It was really funny. Just frustrated. Really well behaved game otherwise.
Leeds United ladies development team. Really talented bunch. Enjoyed it.
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I got called a Douche Bag once! The lad was trying not to swear and he was pretty posh!! It just blurted out and I laughed out loud....
 
Agree with @Padfoot for once! I appreciate you didn't want to face the second half, we've all been there, but I'm afraid that and that alone isn't a reason to abandon a game. @Sheffields Finest summed up my thoughts, get back out there and keep the cards flowing, don't let them get away with anything.
 
Padfoot said:
Which was it? Either he was aggressive or he wasn’t?

If you weren’t fearing for your safety, I would have carried on carding until it was abandoned through lack of players........
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You can act aggressively without being threatening, the point I was trying to make was that he was aggressive in voice, but never once threatened me in any way

I’ll bear the last bit in mind though
 
Whether you were right or wrong, the positive is that this team/manager will hopefully be punished for their behaviour. Increasingly I find that I enjoy officiating less and less. I'll keep going and I hope you do too (what do people do at weekends without sport?) but the nonsense that comes our way all to often at the lower levels of amateur football does erode away at you in terms of your enthusiasm. But, next week is another game, chin up and go again
 
QuaverRef said:
You can act aggressively without being threatening, the point I was trying to make was that he was aggressive in voice, but never once threatened me in any way

I’ll bear the last bit in mind though
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So how have you reported the reason for abandoning?
 
I think most of us will have been there where we just don't want to go back out for the second half. Unfortunately though we have to, and as has already been said you probably needed to carry through and either complete the game or abandon once they didn't have enough players yet.

As it stands I'm struggling to see what your reason for abandoning is and more importantly how you are going to report it. If you report it as you have on here the team will get off completely in terms of the abandonment as they will argue that you issued disciplinary sanctions against the players and abandoned based on the manager's half time comments, but you didn't tell him he was being removed. Obviously the reds and yellows will count, but I can't see any way that they can be found guilty of causing the game to be abandoned, so it will almost certainly have to be replayed.

Just one to chalk down to experience I think, but generally if you abandon for misconduct there has to be a specific trigger that merits it. As much as we would like it to, continual misconduct doesn't tick that box.
 
@QuaverRef

I agree with those who say the game should have carried on. I have an opinion on why you chose to abandon. Before that, a good reason for not carrying on even if there are no safety issues is if you feel due to the treatment you are getting you feel that you wont be able to make impartial decisions and the amount of dissent and backchat is impacting your decision making.

My guess on why you abandoned is mental strength. Don't take this in a negative way. Take it as a challenge to improve on it. Similar to endurance running. I have seen physically fitter runners stop running while those with fitter and more trained minds continue. The every day term for is toughing it out. As said above, a lot of us have been there and there are times that you can't take it any more, but you have to find a way. Experience helps a lot.

Just a clarification that don't ever continue with a game if your safety is at risk even if you are mentally capable.
 
one said:
@QuaverRef

I agree with those who say the game should have carried on. I have an opinion on why you chose to abandon. Before that, a good reason for not carrying on even if there are no safety issues is if you feel due to the treatment you are getting you feel that you wont be able to make impartial decisions and the amount of dissent and backchat is impacting your decision making.

My guess on why you abandoned is mental strength. Don't take this in a negative way. Take it as a challenge to improve on it. Similar to endurance running. I have seen physically fitter runners stop running while those with fitter and more trained minds continue. The every day term for is toughing it out. As said above, a lot of us have been there and there are times that you can't take it any more, but you have to find a way. Experience helps a lot.

Just a clarification that don't ever continue with a game if your safety is at risk even if you are mentally capable.
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Good advice and definitely one to learn from. Looking back on it now, I made the wrong decision but hindsight is a beautiful thing. However, I know cards are at my disposal but at that time different thoughts go through your mind compared to when you look back on it 24 hours later, especially when you have that 10 minute break period at HT where you sit in silence and just think about whats going on around you.

If I put the report in incorrectly and the game gets replayed, then so be it. I'd like to think that the FA will understand the scenario and that even though I probably shouldn't have abandoned the game, they'll recognise the actions of the team and the impact it has on their referees
 
one said:
@QuaverRef

I agree with those who say the game should have carried on. I have an opinion on why you chose to abandon. Before that, a good reason for not carrying on even if there are no safety issues is if you feel due to the treatment you are getting you feel that you wont be able to make impartial decisions and the amount of dissent and backchat is impacting your decision making.

My guess on why you abandoned is mental strength. Don't take this in a negative way. Take it as a challenge to improve on it. Similar to endurance running. I have seen physically fitter runners stop running while those with fitter and more trained minds continue. The every day term for is toughing it out. As said above, a lot of us have been there and there are times that you can't take it any more, but you have to find a way. Experience helps a lot.

Just a clarification that don't ever continue with a game if your safety is at risk even if you are mentally capable.
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Good 'mental endurance' analogy. When i've trained for long distance runs, it's as much about training the mind as it is about lactate threshold (and all that). The amount of stress we can endure will vary from one day to another, or we might just know instinctively that continuing will end in tears :(
QuaverRef said:
Good advice and definitely one to learn from. Looking back on it now, I made the wrong decision but hindsight is a beautiful thing. However, I know cards are at my disposal but at that time different thoughts go through your mind compared to when you look back on it 24 hours later, especially when you have that 10 minute break period at HT where you sit in silence and just think about whats going on around you.

If I put the report in incorrectly and the game gets replayed, then so be it. I'd like to think that the FA will understand the scenario and that even though I probably shouldn't have abandoned the game, they'll recognise the actions of the team and the impact it has on their referees
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For what it's worth, I think you made a good decision. It was the right decision for you at that moment in time and it's helpful to the rest of us that you shared the experience (as we newbies all have this moment in the pipeline)
 
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