The Ref Stop

Offensive, abusive and insulting language

He should have reported you and reminded you to re-read your respect code
I got told the exact same as Mike on my module 5. Hence the reason I did what I did.

Also having parents on the sidelines saying he did no such thing swayed my decision to telling him to stay clear of my linesman
 
The Ref Stop
Heres one:

Someone swears at your Club Assistant but you don't hear it? Do you take your assistants word or ignore it?

I'm not gunna take his word for it. I'll ask him to keep going, and I'll have a chat at the end of the game. I'll mention to the player that I've been warned of his language and everything he says is being monitored from now.

At the end of the game, I'll go to the CAR and say, what exactly did he say? I would then speak to the League about it, and ask a few senior refs I know what their opinion is, on whether or not I report it to CFA.

It might not be right, but that is what I'd do in a match situation!

I wouldn't commit to a KMI without knowing if it actually happened, going off a club assistants version of events, I would let the league (and possibly) CFA deal with it.
 
There's a good learning point to take notice of here though, however much referees seemingly'distrust' or are (I hope not) advised to distrust club assistants.

I've always told my 2 Club Linesmen (as they were) or AR's (as they now are)prior to k/o as a promise "If someone gobs off at you or swears at you and I don't see or hear it, there's little I can do, but I ask you not to react to it at the time by shouting back or getting into an argument, but not to ignore it either. "At the next stoppage in play signal me over and I'll have a word in his shell like" (I'd expect to only do this once)

Managing situations like this is part of our job, you wear the time piece, take a little time to give yourself an advantage by never belittling anyone involved in the game, sometimes a few seconds given over to a probable lost cause can save you minutes of trouble later on. Football is an emotional game, which actually belongs to the clubs who 'hire' us to keep the peace. Warnings are threats, advising players of a,b,c is the way to go. Leave yourself a bit flexible.

Speak politely and quietly to the player(s) make it readily clear that you're taking no action other than a quiet word in the company of his/their captain. However, if you 'advise' them that "should I see or hear anything myself, the outcome may be very different" I don't ignore CA's as a matter of course as they are useful for watching the boundary lines now I'm no longer a Greyhound! and I guarantee that he'll remember the ref who listened to and looked after him in a much better light on the future game in which they meet than the **** who made him look daft in front of everyone?

SEE-RECOGNISE-THINK-ACT, do that in that order for every incident and you'll not stray far from what we are about, whatever the problem you face.
 
Good advice, TMITP, but what would you do if the CAR called you over again to tell you that the same player had gobbed off / sworn at him/her again and you hadn't seen or heard it?
 
As I said, I would expect to only do this once, this is 'lazy eye' refereeing and repositioning at it's best Haywain, I would truly expect to now catch him, and without being big-headed, I'm not too modest to say I'm known to be pretty good at it, they have to run the risk. If the CAR was now clearly bulling and trying to put the bloke in the cart because I'd been watching closely I'd diplomatically ask him to continue doing as I'd asked before the game and allow me to continue.

"In my experience, players who're 'not nice' can't resist temptation and get eventually get caught, allow me to keep the game going and catch him myself please".......has always worked for me in the past, and oddly, I do proudly carry a reputation of "This old ref' won't have any gobbing off at him or the linesmen and always go 10 yards" before we even kick off.......which is half the battle

It's harder for those starting out to get to grips sometimes I agree, I was lucky to have a then top flight First Division FL referee as my free mentor who drummed into me the importance of just glancing back over my shoulders without apparent cause or need regularly, not just after a challenge, players never know where or what you're looking at, it's always a pleasure to see their facial expression change when the whistle sounds and you're looking them directly in the eye, and as they say in all good ****ney cop shows....."Bang to rights my son!"

I still do it, and with fitness and age conspiring against me nowadays, I still 'sell' what I'm doing. A bloody good question in fairness to you Haywain, so I hope my answer reflects that mate? I've seen a fair bit of water go under the bridge so to speak refereeing wise, but I'm still learning and listening, the day I don't remember to do either I'll hang up me boots.

I'd be pleased to read other opinions/methods/routines colleagues use in the same circumstance, there must be dozens?
 
TMINT a very informative and well written point of view. What many referee's misunderstand is that the law clearly states OFFENSIVE,INSULTING, ABUSIVE LANGUAGE. It DOES NOT mention swearing. OFFIANBUS can clearly be commited without the use of swear words and likewise swearing can be used without dissent or OFFINABUS
 
TMINT a very informative and well written point of view. What many referee's misunderstand is that the law clearly states OFFENSIVE,INSULTING, ABUSIVE LANGUAGE. It DOES NOT mention swearing. OFFIANBUS can clearly be commited without the use of swear words and likewise swearing can be used without dissent or OFFINABUS
I was told this on my basic course but have to disagree with the latter, I personally find swearing abusive and wouldn't hesitate to send a player off for swearing at me or another player.
 
So you think if a player swears under his breath after miskicking the ball, it's OFFINABUS? I couldn't disagree more, and I think that turns us into moral police instead of enforcers of the laws of the game.
 
I look at the way swearing comes to me if it like 80% of the time where it frustration will service having a word about his language but if it some along the lines if a player decides to say your, an fing joke ref your sh@t ref or your a cheat ref will get a red and will be going for early shower
 
So you think if a player swears under his breath after miskicking the ball, it's OFFINABUS? I couldn't disagree more, and I think that turns us into moral police instead of enforcers of the laws of the game.
No what I said was if anyone swears "at me or anyother player" (including coaches/parents/spectators etc). I can understand out of frustration under their breath, but as soon as it is aimed at me then the player would walk.
 
a little anecdote...

i was refereeing a game on saturday, Green number 6 nutmegged by Yellow player who skips past him and heads towards goal. Green 6 mutters "you f***ing c**t", not shouted but loud enough for me to hear.

i took this as being frustration/indignation that he had been easily beaten by his opponent, and i certainly didn't think it was offensive or insulting in the context. as an ex player i have often uttered similar curses when being caught out (such as when i've come for a cross and realise i've misjudged it!)

when the ball was out of play i asked Green 6 to be careful with his language and he replied "i didn't swear?"

my reply was "yes you did, you said f***ing c**t"

his response - "oh yeah, i did didn't i! sorry about that!"

a few minutes later another situation happened where he had made an error and as he went to swear he caught himself and then apologised. i felt like this was progress.

i'm not saying this was the model example of how to deal with language on the pitch but it worked for me on that one occasion. i think a sense of perspective, empathy and experience helps.

so in conclusion swearing does not necessarily equal offinabus.
 
I blame Derek and Clive

**offinabus alert ** offinabus alert ** offinabus alert - not for those who dislike swearing, especially the use of the 'f' and 'c ' words

 
*EXTREME LANGUAGE ALERT*
Not for those who don't like foul language. But, it felt appropriate and it's very funny!
 
Yea putting that song into context I think it would depend if the player was using frustration or directed at someone
 
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