The Ref Stop

game management

R

rookieRef

New Member
Level 5 Referee
hi all, I am new to the board, and only have been reffing for two years in amateur leagues in Montreal Canada. I love the topics and I read up on all topics.

one of the biggest aspects of the refereeing is the game management in my mind. when the players get their blood heated up and various comments are thrown ref's way. when after each call or no call you get yelled at by one or the other team, what would be (other than cautions) be a good way to cool things off and prevent losing control of the game?

what are the "tricks" that could be handy for young refs? any input is extremely appreciated.
 
The Ref Stop
Finger to lips or draw a zip over your lips. The hate no response :stop:, if they don’t listen and carry on after that then they can’t say they weren’t warned!
 
Every referee is different, the key thing is that if someone is yelling at you then you need to do something or it will escalate. That doesn't mean a caution is needed, you could explain the decision and that may placate them, have a quiet word, have a public word, use the captain, etc.

What frustrates me as an observer is where the referee completely ignores dissent all game and then suddenly flips late on in the game and starts throwing cards around. It shouldn't have been allowed to escalate to that extent. Personally I will happily explain decisions to players, but when I first started I found that hard and would shy away from it.
 
Agree with the above. It must be addressed or other players will start in and the severity of it will increase raising the temperature of the mature. Fouls and severity of fouls will result. That being said.... if it wasn't public personal or provocative, I might try to redirect/share the rationale with them. I may feel pulling them aside for a word "I understand you disagree but that is how I saw it. I'd rather not have to book you for dissent so let's not do that ok?". If it was a loud and visible dissent I might go straight to a yellow or go with the public "quiet word" depending on the temperature of the match. Another tactic if you are hearing it from several players is to pull the captains in for a quick "gents, I've heard enough. Reel your men in or I'm giving out cards." If it's like my Sunday one yelling "NO F-----G WAY" at me loud enough to be heard from 50 yards away over a GK call....... yep, you are right no f-----g way, early shower.
 
Context and level of the teams is important.

"Zip it" is not going to work with serious teams. With serious leagues refs should be communicating with players throughout and senior players especially are used to some kind of dialogue. "Zip it" might work with really random annoying stuff late in a game but I don't think it is typically the way to go.

What I have tried to learn from watching better refs is how to identify and handle the first clear dissent. One or two mild complaints might be well handled by a little "calm down" and short explanation/reminder on the run. But... anything more than mild, as soon as a second player immediately comments after the first, someone shouting a distance, gestures, attitude... all these are signs that you should: double blow the whistle so everyone knows something is up, meet the player on neutral ground i.e. don't demand they come to you, and then give a strong clear verbal warning and cut the grass gesture. The warning is actually more for everyone else than the player. It shows any punters, coaches and both teams that you are on top of it and makes it easy to card anyone later - or to card that player if they carry on.

The one thing not to say is: "next time it's a card" because you put yourself in a corner if there is something mild an hour later. Definitely don't let a second, third player make a mild chain of dissent because then they'll all be at it.

Goes without saying that if the first dissent is a YC then give the YC! One or two captains might useful in certain scenarios but they are not a substitute for cards. I think it is very odd to call the captains in unless you are giving cards or have given cards and the game is on the brink.

This is stuff I am still getting to grips with an I am in need of a few go-to phrases for this! At the moment I am honest with the player: "it's going to be a yellow card, just calm down, and be quiet so you don't get a second", "listen, calm down, this warning is as much for everyone else as it is for you..." I think a much stricter, stronger approach works better for some people and is something I would like to be able to do.
 
santa sangria said:
Context and level of the teams is important.
The one thing not to say is: "next time it's a card" because you put yourself in a corner if there is something mild an hour later. Definitely don't let a second, third player make a mild chain of dissent because then they'll all be at it.

Goes without saying that if the first dissent is a YC then give the YC! One or two captains might useful in certain scenarios but they are not a substitute for cards. I think it is very odd to call the captains in unless you are giving cards or have given cards and the game is on the brink.
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Abolutely agree. Avoid boxing yourself in with anything like "I will call this, I won't call that, I will card for this, etc." when you don't do what you say for the rest of the game in all situations you will really hurt your credibility and game control. Make it obvious that you are addressing it and let your body language speak to everyone else present. I have called the captains in one time and had seen a senior referee do it prior to that. Both games were on the brink. In the one instance where I did it, it was during a U19 boys high level game which was hotly contested and it was getting very heated. Teams hated each other. Both teams running their mouths. Calling them both in at a stoppage for a foul, I told them both something of the nature of "I have heard enough. I will be dealing with it very harshly shortly. Fair warning." The brief pause helped and the captains started yelling at their teammates to knock it off. They did forget after about 10 minutes and I gave out cards like candy. Coach griped a little bit afterward, but not so much when I pointed out that I had given ample warning to both teams. Not sold on the tactic as yet.
 
A phrase I used since I heard it, when someones losing it a bit, if your going to speak to them, is. "Come on, settle down, your drawing attention to yourself, everybody can see your causing me a problem and they expect me to deal with it"

Players dont like to be singled out for anything other than being great, so to give them the impression that everybody else can see they are a pain, can make them moderate their behaviour.
 
Agree that it is all down to context and what has happened in the game. I gave a penalty to the away team yesterday that it is fair to sat the home team didn't agree with. It was saved and then cleared away for a corner, and as we were waiting for the corner to be taken a home defender made a comment of "be careful as the referee is making it up as he goes along". Away team captain was stood next to me at the time and gave me a raised eyebrow, but I just grinned at both her and the player making the comment. The former just looked embarrassed and walked way, the latter had a grin on her face. That has dealt with the situation, but it won't work on every occasion. Yes, I could have flashed a yellow at her, but did I really need to?

And that is my point from earlier, never ignore it but there are a multitude of ways to deal with dissent.
 
I prefer the direct route and just go for the caution, but I'm not a 'people person'! :P

santa sangria said:
The one thing not to say is: "next time it's a card" because you put yourself in a corner if there is something mild an hour later.
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Absolutely this. When I have an off day, I sometimes slip into the bad habit of saying stupid stuff like this. Stick to the generics; "Be careful" / "Calm/settle down." etc etc.
 
Players love to have a moan. Unless the remarks cross the line, give the decision and don't budge. Just carry on with the game while they are moaning. Whilst they realise their moaning is having absolutely no impact on your decision making they tend to stop. Some even get moaned at by their teammates, because they are out of position because they were moaning..lol. If it starts to get really heated towards you (and they cross the line), you need to nip it in the bud quickly as mentioned above. And be consistent. Whatever you do (caution, stern talking to etc) you must do exactly the same to the opposition team for the same offence, for obvious reasons.

I constantly chatted to the players (i'm semi retired now), and they tended to respond to it, because you are treating them like adults. They hate being ignored, so I tended to explain my decision (often when I run past them). But, just the once. They ask. You explain. That's it ! there is no debate to be had afterwards. Some players just can't see reason, so refuse to get into a debate. Explain. Play on !
 
@rookieRef , many good comments here. My contribution:
  • its important to know that one size does not fit all. Or even that no situation can fit one of the few 'sizes'.
  • Build and grow your tool bag. Nothing replaces experience. Learn from every incident, positive or negative.
  • You can and often should deal with players who know you differently than those who don't. I have seen "shut up and get on with the game" used effectively (said to a mate) and there is no way I would suggest that to anyone.
  • Putting the onus back on the player often works. "I will have no options but...", "don't leave me with no other options". And if you want to give an ultimatum, use "or I will take serious action" or "or you will be in trouble". That still gives an ultimatum without backing you into a corner. But be careful when and how you use them, players don't like being 'threatened' in front of their mates.
  • Captain was mentioned above. Some teams have their biggest tool as the captain. I would only use that captain as a general public warning to everyone in the team and it would be very quick and get out of there. He often thinks if you call him over, its a chance for him to let you know what he thinks of your refereeing.
  • Every team has a few players with good heads on their shoulder. Get to know them early in the game or from previous games. A quick whisper to the closest 'cool head' of "get your mate calm or he will get himself into trouble" can sometimes do the trick.
 
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wow, i never expected to get this much feedback! i really appreciate all your input. i will certainly try and put in all the above into practice.
 
Another observation here. I have 4 young kids and refereeing them has some similarities. The kids will humiliate me in public at every opportunity, unless carefully managed. They are unsurprisingly juvenile, will fight one another or someone else's kids when my back is turned. The buggers only understand a primitive form of threat escalation. Discipline is best served in basic words like, no, stop and go away; strictly avoiding complicated exchanges. Honestly, there's a lot of dissent, SFP and VC under my roof, although i'm yet to deal with OFFINABUS; my missus fills that gap :(
 
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Big Cat said:
Another observation here. I have 4 young kids and refereeing them has some similarities. The kids will humiliate me in public at every opportunity, unless carefully managed. They are unsurprisingly juvenile, will fight one another or someone else's kids when my back is turned. The buggers only understand a primitive form of threat escalation. Discipline is best served in basic words like, no, stop and go away; strictly avoiding complicated exchanges. Honestly, there's a lot of dissent, SFP and VC under my roof, although i'm yet to deal with OFFINABUS, although my missus is well versed in that :(
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That's one of my favourite lines, when someone starts moaning. "Give it a rest, fella ! If I wanted to get moaned at on a Sunday morning, I would have stayed at home with the Mrs"...they nearly always have a chuckle and realise you're human after all.
 
I like to put the resonability on the captains from the get go. When we have the prematch chat at the coin toss, I usually say something on the lines of ‘if you can see your own players whining and moaning at me, take it on yourself to have a quick word. If it gets to the point where I have to step in, I’ll be using cards’.

Obviously I don’t go straight in with cards and will try and talk players down if the situation requires, but I find this chat helpful as it forces the captains hand. if you do find a situation where the captains says something to a player but they keep on and get themselves a booking, the captains are usually satisfied with the outcome as it’s what they expected
 
QuaverRef said:
I like to put the resonability on the captains from the get go. When we have the prematch chat at the coin toss, I usually say something on the lines of ‘if you can see your own players whining and moaning at me, take it on yourself to have a quick word. If it gets to the point where I have to step in, I’ll be using cards’.

Obviously I don’t go straight in with cards and will try and talk players down if the situation requires, but I find this chat helpful as it forces the captains hand. if you do find a situation where the captains says something to a player but they keep on and get themselves a booking, the captains are usually satisfied with the outcome as it’s what they expected
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No issue with having a chat before the game to outline tolerance levels but, I would be very hesitant to say there will be cards and not carry it out. You are weakening your position in front of the captain's. Perhaps saying I will take action would be better as it is not forcing you into taking a particular course.
 
Middle Man said:
No issue with having a chat before the game to outline tolerance levels but, I would be very hesitant to say there will be cards and not carry it out. You are weakening your position in front of the captain's. Perhaps saying I will take action would be better as it is not forcing you into taking a particular course.
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I agree. I think taking a stance of "if you dont I will .... " or similar to be quite threatening tone, particularly as a ball hasnt been kicked. Talking about cards before a balls kicked as well, again, captains are gunna think great got a card happy ref.

I say something like "All I ask is that you work with me. If I call you over for a chat, its to avoid/prevent cards, so be sensible and help your player out"

That way, when the chat comes I am true to my word and similarly if we go straight to caution I am not going against anything I have said pre match.
 
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