A&H

Gaining confidence?

K

Kref

Well-Known Member
How do you guys go about gaining confidence when going into a fixture. I find it that when I'm refereeing youth football I have the confidence as I'm older than most of the players. However when I refereed my first ever Open Age match I didn't have that confidence and because of that game it made me considering quitting football reffing. So how do you guys go about building up and keeping that confidence during matches?

I say this as I feel like I have progressed since last time I did an Open Age match and feel like it might be time to step up against. But I'm worried I won't be able to keep that confidence.
 
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Kref said:
How do you guys go about gaining confidence when going into a fixture. I find it that when I'm refereeing youth football I have the confidence as I'm older than most of the players. However when I refereed my first ever Open Age match I didn't have that confidence and because of that game it made me considering quitting football reffing. So how do you guys go about building up and keeping that confidence during matches?

I say this as I feel like I have progressed since last time I did an Open Age match and feel like it might be time to step up against. But I'm worried I won't be able to keep that confidence.
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The accepted treatment for anxiety (aside from medication and so on), is gradual exposure to the activity that causes the anxiety
You're not gonna ask someone whose scared of flying to skydive

I'm refereeing games now that are beyond the level I initially thought myself capable of
How does a Professional Ref cope with 10's of thousands of spectators? Basic answer, is through very gradual exposure over many many years, to the point that the mind is self-taught that it can cope with any given level

So Youth U16 and U18 (Boys) football is a gateway into the adult game. You could even ask for 'challenging' games at that level, or you could ask for the easiest adult games (on paper). Most fixture secretaries will help, I'd like to think
 
Big Cat said:
The accepted treatment for anxiety (aside from medication and so on), is gradual exposure to the activity that causes the anxiety
You're not gonna ask someone whose scared of flying to skydive

I'm refereeing games now that are beyond the level I initially thought myself capable of
How does a Professional Ref cope with 10's of thousands of spectators? Basic answer, is through very gradual exposure over many many years, to the point that the mind is self-taught that it can cope with any given level

So Youth U16 and U18 (Boys) football is a gateway into the adult game. You could even ask for 'challenging' games at that level, or you could ask for the easiest adult games (on paper). Most fixture secretaries will help, I'd like to think
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Yeah. Last season I only low level youth games so like U14 and U12 and then in the summer a Open Age Friendly came up and I thought this is my chance. Now this season I've been doing U16 games only all season, my FA has told me to avoid U18 and just go to Open age in like a month when I want to as apparently the U18 league is a **** show. Anymore advice you would give to refereeing a higher age group?
 
It's purely a mindset thing that you are in control of.

There is a danger that you are setting yourself up to fail before you set foot on the pitch. You need to realise and accept that open age football is totally different to junior football and you are not failing as a referee if you struggle with the transition between the two.

Where you can gain confidence is through having a thorough and in-depth knowledge of the laws of the game and making sure that you are fit enough and wise enough to be in the right position on the field of play. You will then be making decisions that you know are correct in law and are credible due to your positioning.

Above all else, do not take anything said to heart or take it personal. Any comments are to the authoritive figure with the uniform on, not you as a person. Once the match has ended, you will find more often than not, the players will be totally different towards you.

Maybe look at the fixtures and go along to watch the games and see how the referee manages the game
 
Kref said:
Anymore advice you would give to refereeing a higher age group?
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Ask for a mentor to come along for your first few games. Having them there as a tether and for support will set you on the right path. Your RDO (or appointments officer), if they're any decent will have identified who you are as a newbie, and be giving you some nice freebie dead rubber games between teams known to be entirely placid, so that you're eased in.

Otherwise, go out there with a mindset to referee the game and not to be buddy-buddy with the teams. You're not there to please anyone, and you absolutely won't please anyone, beside your observer one day, so don't get suckered in to discussing your decisions. Blast the whistle, signal the foul (or whatever) and motor on.
 
PinnerPaul said:
The much mentioned on here option of acting as AR to experienced higher level referees on better leagues is also an option to explore
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I would love to do that but when I asked my referee development officer about this he said Kref you don't have enough experience so maybe you can do it do it next season.
So maybe I'll get chance to do it next season as of late i've done 3 fixtures as an AR in county cup semis so that all my experience so far.
 
I would suggest...

Visit a few lower level OA games and you will quickly realise you are better than many of the referees out there (I say this because you are here wanting to improve rather than just turning up to do a game and then forgetting your a ref until the next match).

Realise that "you are not you" when on the pitch - you are a ref, a role, and 99% of what is said to you is because you are a ref, not a young person. After a few decisions where you put people in their place (fake it till you make it), you'll soon get the respect the badge deserves and you'll soon forget.

Would you mind expanding on why you believe you lack confidence - is it dealing with/speaking/judging older people, or just more concerned that more experienced players may know more than you or view your decisions as incorrect?
 
Kref said:
How do you guys go about gaining confidence when going into a fixture. I find it that when I'm refereeing youth football I have the confidence as I'm older than most of the players. However when I refereed my first ever Open Age match I didn't have that confidence and because of that game it made me considering quitting football reffing. So how do you guys go about building up and keeping that confidence during matches?

I say this as I feel like I have progressed since last time I did an Open Age match and feel like it might be time to step up against. But I'm worried I won't be able to keep that confidence.
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Actually, rule number 1, don't do any game that involves so-called 'Vets'. They'll slice your potatoes into chips
 
Big Cat said:
Actually, rule number 1, don't do any game that involves so-called 'Vets'. They'll slice your potatoes into chips
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Yeah afterwards when I talked to some refs in my FA and I mentioned one of the teams they referee to them as the 'one of worst to come across' and another said they are dickheads to handle.
 
Kref said:
I would love to do that but when I asked my referee development officer about this he said Kref you don't have enough experience so maybe you can do it do it next season.
So maybe I'll get chance to do it next season as of late i've done 3 fixtures as an AR in county cup semis so that all my experience so far.
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If you haven’t done many open age games the RDO may have a point about the experience. However, it’s not a statement I’m totally comfortable with.

As an alternative, is there a midweek U18 floodlit youth league up in the far northwest (presuming that’s where Westmorland is!)

There are two in my area, and they all use 3 officials. They’d be a good basis for you.

Back when I was very new, these helped me develop that confidence by seeing what worked for the more experienced guys.
 
Macca said:
I would suggest...

Visit a few lower level OA games and you will quickly realise you are better than many of the referees out there (I say this because you are here wanting to improve rather than just turning up to do a game and then forgetting your a ref until the next match).

Realise that "you are not you" when on the pitch - you are a ref, a role, and 99% of what is said to you is because you are a ref, not a young person. After a few decisions where you put people in their place (fake it till you make it), you'll soon get the respect the badge deserves and you'll soon forget.

Would you mind expanding on why you believe you lack confidence - is it dealing with/speaking/judging older people, or just more concerned that more experienced players may know more than you or view your decisions as incorrect?
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I would probably say its because of those articles you see online where referee get assualted, and I am worried if I make the wrong call it might happen to me. As well as that having 22 grown men scream at you on the pitch albeit at the same time is worrying and makes one lose their confidence.
 
Tealeaf said:
If you haven’t done many open age games the RDO may have a point about the experience. However, it’s not a statement I’m totally comfortable with.

As an alternative, is there a midweek U18 floodlit youth league up in the far northwest (presuming that’s where Westmorland is!)

There are two in my area, and they all use 3 officials. They’d be a good basis for you.

Back when I was very new, these helped me develop that confidence by seeing what worked for the more experienced guys.
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For me because of commitments I have during the week I am unavailable to ref during the week, even though this is a good option I cannot do it. As I can only really do Saturday and Sunday Fixtures.

Also it add onto your point of what my RDO said. I have a friend of mine who refs in lancs and I think hes done some games in the supply league this seasons and does game as AR. Although we are both same age and level he has like one season more experience but when he does middles only does U14 and below whilst I only do U16. So maybe it just depends on the county
 
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Tealeaf said:
If you haven’t done many open age games the RDO may have a point about the experience. However, it’s not a statement I’m totally comfortable with.

As an alternative, is there a midweek U18 floodlit youth league up in the far northwest (presuming that’s where Westmorland is!)

There are two in my area, and they all use 3 officials. They’d be a good basis for you.

Back when I was very new, these helped me develop that confidence by seeing what worked for the more experienced guys.
Click to expand...
Agree, the Isthmian Under 18s if you're further south is a good option.
 
Are you a confident person in general and everyday life? This comes to some people naturally. If that's the case you don't need to do anything special. Just go about doing what you do.

Otherwise the best advise I can give is pretend you are confident untill you actually are after you are more experienced.
 
extended metaphor alert!

To gain confidence I also do the same things that I learnt to do to play music on stage: lots of visualization, more visualization, thinking through a few things that could go wrong and what I would do to fix it - or cover it, practice the stuff I can, know enough about the people I’m working with and their potential to trip me up, have a few things ready to say, plan a beginning and an end, don’t drink beforebut probably drink after;)

I used to rely on great drummer to cover my mistakes on stage. And you hope your great assistant will help you when it comes to that penalty decision.

*My dad would always drink before.
 
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