The Ref Stop

Open Age First OA game

Hmm… I disagree.

A champo AR explained it to me clearly. Rule #1: Don’t break the team.

IMHO out there, never even hint you might have disagreed with the referee’s decision. Even if the ref just told you on comms she got it wrong. Anything you say to benches will get used as ammunition to undermine your referee. You cannot let this happen.

Instead use non-committal language like: “sometimes we see different things” or tap your headset and “sorry, let’s talk after the game.”

This is a creative challenge as AR1. But you must not disagree with your ref to the benches! Noooo!
I think if the benches think you’re going to back the referee blindly on every single call, even if it’s a very minor decision but the referee has very obviously got it wrong, you ruin your credibility for when you need it later on a big decision.
Most good referees don’t mind holding their hands up on a minor call they might have got wrong, because it helps their credibility to do so when they need to insist they’re definitely correct on a big call. This is no different.
No bench has ever come on at the end of the game to any ref I’ve ran the line to and said ‘even your Lino could see you got that foul in the defensive 3rd wrong’.
It’s just about showing that we’re human and not robots.
 
The Ref Stop
I think if the benches think you’re going to back the referee blindly on every single call, even if it’s a very minor decision but the referee has very obviously got it wrong, you ruin your credibility for when you need it later on a big decision.
Most good referees don’t mind holding their hands up on a minor call they might have got wrong, because it helps their credibility to do so when they need to insist they’re definitely correct on a big call. This is no different.
No bench has ever come on at the end of the game to any ref I’ve ran the line to and said ‘even your Lino could see you got that foul in the defensive 3rd wrong’.
It’s just about showing that we’re human and not robots.
You need to be smart.

Don’t break the team!
 
I can see merit in both approaches to be honest. I tend to lean more towards the "loyalty" to the ref side though.
At the end of the day, most benches are vociferously opposed to practically every decision the ref gives against their team (including any FKs you might flag). Placating them might make you look or feel better "socially" but only if you're in agreement with their (mostly) skewed POV.
All the usual cliches will still come tumbling out with the ridiculous assumption that because you might have a similar view/angle to theirs, then you absolutely MUST have the same opinion.
They don't want to be your friend, they're generally only interested in influencing or manipulating you in order to gain some sort of perceived advantage, even if it's just a moral one. Cynical view I know but that's just the way it is. You can be the good guy for 88 mins but you're straight back to being Satan the minute you do something they're not in agreement with. Your own feelings mean nothing to them.
The referee however, is your colleague and at the very least deserves to have 2 people out there who have his or her back, no matter what sort of game they're having.
As for communicating with the benches after the referee may have got something wrong, I'm never "agreeing" that with them. That's always a green light for them to then (stupidly) insist that you can somehow get involved and overrule the referee - especially after a free kick or a foul which always amazes me still!!
No, my approach has always been a wry/enigmatic half-smile, a shrug of the shoulders or uttering one word - ""Possibly" before focusing back on the field and zoning them out.
Best way in my experience.
 
I'm not for one moment suggesting we stand there throughout the game telling them we disagree with things on a regular basis. Clearly not. I'm saying if the referee gets one clearly, obviously wrong which has little impact on the match, you do your credibility more harm than good if you insist that he's correct when asked. The wry smile can be enough and the benches will know, I'm just saying, in my opinion, we shouldn't just stand there saying the referee was absolutely correct regardless of the circumstances.
 
I think using neutral terms such as ‘I can see where you’re coming from, but the referees view is different and it’s his decision to make, not mine’
or something along those lines.

Mind you- I did get told last week by the home manager when I was senior AR in the FA Cup that I wasn’t allowed to have a different
opinion to him…….so sometimes you just have to ignore people instead 🤣
 
Sensible phrases on minor decisions are absolutely fine. Something like "Agree it looked like a foul from here but the referee was closer and had a different" angle on a nothing challenge in the middle of the pitch is going to show that you are human without chucking the referee under the bus. Where silence needs to be adopted is if there is any chance of a goal coming from whatever the incident was, saying it looked like a foul when the challenge was in or near the penalty area would be very ill advised.
 
Sensible phrases on minor decisions are absolutely fine. Something like "Agree it looked like a foul from here but the referee was closer and had a different" angle on a nothing challenge in the middle of the pitch is going to show that you are human without chucking the referee under the bus. Where silence needs to be adopted is if there is any chance of a goal coming from whatever the incident was, saying it looked like a foul when the challenge was in or near the penalty area would be very ill advised.
I remember once (15 years ago) i was on the line and a goalkeeper made a good challenge on the edge of the penalty area/goal line nearest me. Referee was 30-40 yards away and i was 10.

Striker goes down with no contact and the ref gives a penalty. I flag furiously and referee comes across.

I explain there was no contact at all but he says "i've given it now so I wont change my mind." The keeper's team lost 1-0 after the penalty was scored.

That referee had a VERY successful careeer as a FL assistant for many years (10-15 i think).

Afterwards i told him i think that honesty is more important than saving face. He wouldn't have it.
 
I remember once (15 years ago) i was on the line and a goalkeeper made a good challenge on the edge of the penalty area/goal line nearest me. Referee was 30-40 yards away and i was 10.

Striker goes down with no contact and the ref gives a penalty. I flag furiously and referee comes across.

I explain there was no contact at all but he says "i've given it now so I wont change my mind." The keeper's team lost 1-0 after the penalty was scored.

That referee had a VERY successful careeer as a FL assistant for many years (10-15 i think).

Afterwards i told him i think that honesty is more important than saving face. He wouldn't have it.
In those days they didn’t and these days you would like to think they are made a bit differently.
 
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