The Ref Stop

Dreading a game on the weekend

Q

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
Level 4 Referee
Been assigned a match on Saturday Mornjng, first v second in Division one. However, both are notorious for 'bad behavior' shall we say. I've also been on the receiving end of abuse from a couple of the teams members when I was in town on a night out, and refereed them after this incident and continued to get abuse from particular players (they were red carded for this)! The reason for this .... they don't like a couple of my friends so I'm targeted by association.

How would you approach this game? If I'm honest, I'm dreading it and considered asking for a chance of fixture, but on the other hand I don't want to be 'that ref' to the RDO, I want to show I can be relied upon and don't just bottle matches due to past experiences.
 
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The Ref Stop
Im not your average referee so personally I’d probably have to be taken off the fixture at this stage in my career.

With a serious head on all I can say is stand by your decisions, anytime you feel like crumbling inside don’t show it hold yourself strong and move on from incidents quickly and sharply don’t hang about for anything to esculate just short sharp interventions & then on with the game, cards & whistle are the only friends you’ll have out there so use them.

Tbh in my experience in life when I build something up in my head it never ends up being as bad as I thought, you may expect the worse & it doesn’t materialise, your not the only one entering a match with previous attached to it just ref the game as you see it & be the better man by blanking out the the negativity (easier said than done I know).

Good luck and big respect for facing it head on, let us know the outcome.
 
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Follow through on any warnings. Don't turn a blind eye to dissent. This is something I have done on a couple of occasions this season I am trying to fix.

I think your first experience of borderline dissent (major public warning) or dissent (YC) in the game is critical. Set your bar and stick to it.
 
I support what Men in Black has said - the one's you worry about can turn out to me much better than expected. It sounds like a tasty fixture and the fact that you've been appointed suggests that someone has faith in your ability as a referee. Make sure you are decisive, do your job and it will work out well. Best of luck to you.
 
If problems resulting from this appointment are inevitable, explain the situation to the RDO and ask to be re-appointed. It would be folly to stick your head in the sand
 
I had a cup final the other day and the program notes stated that "Mark has his own unique style of refereeing!" meaning that I won't take any c**p off anyone. I always send off more than anyone else because I won't change to make allowances for teams playing up, so I get a lot of this type of game. If teams start then I'm the one to finish it, and they either get the message or their game is over.
I have had issues in the past with teams who feel that I have problems with them because I'm always sending their players off. I had an appeal against a team who were particularly bad, having sent off three of their players, including the goalkeeper who kicked the centre forward well off the ball. He wasn't expecting me to be watching but I knew what he was going to do so kept an eye. At the appeal the team were told "It's not just you! He sends everyone's players off!" Eventually they got the point and stopped messing about and then they finished a game with 11 on the pitch! I'm sure these teams will calm down in time when it starts to hit them in the pocket or they drop points because they have players suspended.
As already advised, don't go into the game expecting trouble, but deal with it if it happens. It's good that the league trust you to handle a game like this, so I'd take that as a compliment. If you come off the game this time you'll regret it, because it will probably work out fine and then you'll wonder what you were worried about. If not then you have the tools to sort it out.
Don't worry about it. You'll be fine
 
Thanks for the advice everyone. Going to stick with it and hope for the best, early cards (if required) sounds like the route to go down!

I'm also going for promotion this year and just been contacted to say there will be an assessor at this game which has eased the worry as well. Should help to cool heads (if only slightly) if they are aware an FA rep is watching
 
Sheffields Finest said:
I loved these games, tougher the better. Hated a boring yawn fest. Get yourself a reputation for standing up to them, if you show weakness they’ve won. Bang one on the book early.., go for it!
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Interesting difference of opinion. My line of thinking was, 'coppers don't walk the beat on the street they live in'. I have to travel a bit to get to all my games, so the players are all strangers; just the way i like it. Maybe I've turned into a southern softie
 
Big Cat said:
Interesting difference of opinion. My line of thinking was, 'coppers don't walk the beat on the street they live in'. I have to travel a bit to get to all my games, so the players are all strangers; just the way i like it. Maybe I've turned into a southern softie
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Not sure I agree we had a local bobby on the beat that knew every trouble maker by name? We knew how far to push him.

It could work in your advantage on the football field Aswell players knowing your limits.
 
@QuaverRef , There are some good advice here on how to approach and manage this game. If you can see it in yourself to go into the the game in the right frame of mind then my suggestion is to do just that.

However if you are still 'dreading' the game and you think it would (negatively) impact your game management and decision making then I don't think it is fair to you or the teams for you to be doing this game. While you would want to have control of the game from the get go, the last thing you would want is to start taking red and yellow cards out for very light reasons in an attempt to do it. This could cause what could be unexpectedly reasonably behaved teams to being hostile.
 
one said:
@QuaverRef , There are some good advice here on how to approach and manage this game. If you can see it in yourself to go into the the game in the right frame of mind then my suggestion is to do just that.

However if you are still 'dreading' the game and you think it would (negatively) impact your game management and decision making then I don't think it is fair to you or the teams for you to be doing this game. While you would want to have control of the game from the get go, the last thing you would want is to start taking red and yellow cards out for very light reasons in an attempt to do it. This could cause what could be unexpectedly reasonably behaved teams to being hostile.
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Maybe dreading is the wrong word, apprehensive might best describe it. I won't let previous experiences cloud my judgement, I've refereed plenty of players who I've previously sent off etc with no issue the next time. I think the best thing to do is do the game as I normally would. As said above, I need to look at it as a positive that I've been assigned to game which is a title decider and if they decide to bring up their abusive side then I'll make if their issue ....
 
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Men in Black said:
Im not your average referee so personally I’d probably have to be taken off the fixture at this stage in my career.

.
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Oh I disagree...I’m certain that you are very average.

To the OP....get the troublemakers in the book as quick as you can....play no advantage until you have the game firmly under control and the players are responding.....slow the game down until they are behaving.....don’t get drawn into debates about decisions, give it and move away, if it needs managing you can always move back.....if they chase after you, easy caution.
 
Padfoot said:
Oh I disagree...I’m certain that you are very average.

To the OP....get the troublemakers in the book as quick as you can....play no advantage until you have the game firmly under control and the players are responding.....slow the game down until they are behaving.....don’t get drawn into debates about decisions, give it and move away, if it needs managing you can always move back.....if they chase after you, easy caution.
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Now now padfoot what have you been told about lowering the morale of new referees, I’m about to walk out into the middle & my mum says I’m her little superstar & that’s all that matters!
 
You’d think that all players would hate you when you play it like Padders and I advocate. Believe me,they don’t, some players are just as scared by the bullies as you may initially be. They are fully supportive of a Ref with nuts laying the Law down correctly and without favour. Many teams would book me against their hardest opponent, not for favour, but for protection and the other team knowing that it’s that £&@t again who didn’t take their sh1t!
 
Sheffields Finest said:
You’d think that all players would hate you when you play it like Padders and I advocate. Believe me,they don’t, some players are just as scared by the bullies as you may initially be. They are fully supportive of a Ref with nuts laying the Law down correctly and without favour.
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Ooh, I dunno. I find that last week's teams might moan you're too soft, but next week's will moan you're too strict.
 
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