The Ref Stop

Done with men’s football

OnlyUseMeWhistle

OnlyUseMeWhistle

RefChat Addict
Level 3W Referee
I’ve been caught between choosing the men’s or women’s pathway for promotion next season and todays Sunday league men’s match sold it for me.

Sent off a player for shouting “f- off” at me after a penalty call from 5 ft and the manager is asking why it isn’t just dissent????

Then just all game long, regardless of stepped approach, endless little comments. I’ve got a thick skin, I’m not going to go home and cry, but when “last weeks ref” is clearly letting swearing go, it just means I’m not having fun.
 
The Ref Stop
I had the opersite today I sent off a player for shouting that at me his coach defended me. Even player came and said sorry for ruining the game at the end this was aduld Sunday league game
 
I don't think this is a "last weeks' ref" situation, as swearing in itself hasn't been an offence for decades. It comes down to whether the referee felt it used offensive, insulting or abusive language, and every referee will have different views on what constitutes that. That doesn't mean you are wrong for sending off for it, nor does it mean that a referee who cautions or even does nothing is wrong, but the manager should be blaming his player not you. Had he not given you the opportunity he wouldn't have been sent off, there is only one person to blame.
 
Dazzykerr said:
I had the opersite today I sent off a player for shouting that at me his coach defended me. Even player came and said sorry for ruining the game at the end this was aduld Sunday league game
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Had exactly the same this weekend too. At least the message is getting through to some
 
RustyRef said:
I don't think this is a "last weeks' ref" situation, as swearing in itself hasn't been an offence for decades. It comes down to whether the referee felt it used offensive, insulting or abusive language, and every referee will have different views on what constitutes that. That doesn't mean you are wrong for sending off for it, nor does it mean that a referee who cautions or even does nothing is wrong, but the manager should be blaming his player not you. Had he not given you the opportunity he wouldn't have been sent off, there is only one person to blame.
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Any ref that considers having **** off shouted at them not OFFINABUS should retire.
 
Kes said:
Get over yourself.
Your obvious sensitivities aren't the yardstick for every other referee.

Stick to girls football if that works you ...
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In what circumstance is someone shouting **** off at you from five feet away not offensive insulting or abusive? And quite clearly the law was written to punish actions like that and not, say, people saying **** off because they’ve missed a shot

Edit: I’d love to see an observers comments for a ref who allowed a player to audibly tell them to **** off so loudly everyone hears
 
OnlyUseMeWhistle said:
In what circumstance is someone shouting **** off at you from five feet away not offensive insulting or abusive? And quite clearly the law was written to punish actions like that and not, say, people saying **** off because they’ve missed a shot

Edit: I’d love to see an observers comments for a ref who allowed a player to audibly tell them to **** off so loudly everyone hears
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I'm an observer.
It's all about context in the moment.

To be fair, it does sound like OFFINABUS the way you describe it but with a thicker skin you could maybe have had a stern word and cautioned for USB (AA)?

In any event, as @RustyRef said, swearing, in and of itself is not an offence and I doubt ever will be.
 
Kes said:
To be fair, it does sound like OFFINABUS the way you describe it but with a thicker skin you could maybe have had a stern word and cautioned for USB (AA)?
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I’d already cautioned someone for dissent so we were a bit beyond stepped process. Besides that detail I was very specific and the team and manager were still adamant swearing at the ref was at most a yellow for dissent.

Find it wild we will happily moan on here about dissent and abuse in the men’s game but the second anyone actually raises an incident and lays even a tiny bit of blame with their colleagues who let it go they’re soft.

There’s zero need for it, adult women manage to play without doing it, I sinbin the occasional player but somehow they manage not to abuse the ref.
 
There's plenty of threads already on here pertaining to this particular subject mate. Do a search and some reading.

Anyway, sounds like you've already nailed your colours to the mast on this so just enjoy your women's football instead ..
 
Kes said:
There's plenty of threads already on here pertaining to this particular subject mate. Do a search and some reading.

Anyway, sounds like you've already nailed your colours to the mast on this so just enjoy your women's football instead ..
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I’ve engaged with plenty, not seen anyone defend swearing and shouting at an official until now.

Bit of a demeaning wording from you but go off
 
Kes said:
I'm an observer.
It's all about context in the moment.

To be fair, it does sound like OFFINABUS the way you describe it but with a thicker skin you could maybe have had a stern word and cautioned for USB (AA)?

In any event, as @RustyRef said, swearing, in and of itself is not an offence and I doubt ever will be.
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I divvin't condone USB/AAAA (adopting a AA) for verbal offences in the direction of the Ref like
Warning / Sin Bin or OFFINABUS being the only options IMO

For context, player tells me to F'Off when I cautioned him on Saturday. Me to Him, 'you didn't say that did yer?' Him to Me, 'Aye, I didn't say that'
Just laughed at him and moved on, choosing to pick my fights elsewhere

Most of the time, these words are just an exclamation of frustration... in the very moment... give' em a few seconds and they're back to using words with more than four letters

Think we should cut @OnlyUseMeWhistle a bit of slack as these things are always YHTBT incidents. Only a small minority of us fruitcakes stay on the men's pathway and actually enjoy it!
 
To reiterate, I don't think anyone is saying you were wrong for sending him off. Its the "last weeks' referee" comment that doesn't sit well with me.

As an observer it would probably depend what level I was observing at. A L3 or L4 sending off for someone shouting "f*** off" is going to be castigated for it, no one would be expecting a red card there. I wouldn't, and indeed couldn't, criticise or mark him down for sending off, but if that action led to his match control disintegrating, and in my experience that often happens when a referee makes an "unexpected" decision, I would be highlighting that incident as the probable cause of that loss of control. Might be a bit different for a L7 on his own on a public park.
 
RustyRef said:
To reiterate, I don't think anyone is saying you were wrong for sending him off. Its the "last weeks' referee" comment that doesn't sit well with me.

As an observer it would probably depend what level I was observing at. A L3 or L4 sending off for someone shouting "f*** off" is going to be castigated for it, no one would be expecting a red card there. I wouldn't, and indeed couldn't, criticise or mark him down for sending off, but if that action led to his match control disintegrating, and in my experience that often happens when a referee makes an "unexpected" decision, I would be highlighting that incident as the probable cause of that loss of control. Might be a bit different for a L7 on his own on a public park.
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You're right of course; a lot of Refereeing depends on the Level of football
 
RustyRef said:
It’s the "last weeks' referee" comment that doesn't sit well with me.
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Fair enough, it lacked the context that I ref in a small rural area where I can name every ref in our league by name and so I sorta knew who I meant.

Definitely agree on different levels, I wouldn’t be shocked to see even an efl ref send off for my YHTBT scenario and indeed I have!
 
OnlyUseMeWhistle said:
Bit of a demeaning wording from you but go off
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Maybe said a bit tongue-in-cheek 😉 but not intended to come across as demeaning in the true sense.

Don't get me wrong, I totally get it.
On some days my tolerance to that perceived lack of respect gets my back up more than it should, especially if it starts one minute in or even before KO.

The thick skin required to referee men's football at grass roots level isn't worn by everyone - that's why many chin it off altogether or just referee female or kids football. Each to their own. Do what works for you. 🙂👍
 
OnlyUseMeWhistle said:
Fair enough, it lacked the context that I ref in a small rural area where I can name every ref in our league by name and so I sorta knew who I meant.

Definitely agree on different levels, I wouldn’t be shocked to see even an efl ref send off for my YHTBT scenario and indeed I have!
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I've watched EPL and EFL football avidly for decades and have never seen a send off for low level OFFINABUS (and f*** off is low level), not sure I can remember any for even the most serious of OFFINABUS.
 
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RustyRef said:
I've watched EPL and EFL football avidly for decades and have never seen a send off for low level DOGSO (and f*** off is low level), not sure I can remember any for even the most serious of DOGSO.
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You’ve never seen a red for DOGSO in the EPL/EFL…? 🤔👀
 
RustyRef said:
I've watched EPL and EFL football avidly for decades and have never seen a send off for low level OFFINABUS (and f*** off is low level), not sure I can remember any for even the most serious of OFFINABUS.
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It’s rare because professionals generally know better than to shout it at the ref from 5ft away. If he’d emulated most pros and just said it out loud after a call whilst not even looking at me, sure it’s fine.
 
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