Junior/Youth Dealing with people after

[HarryD]

In Padfoots defence, read the OP @Anthony - Jake said that the manager said 'he's a s*** ref'. In my book thats swearing about a referee so therefore, misconduct report.

 

[Padfoot]

Padfoot you need to read very s l o w l y what I said in my original posting.

They are entitled to their opinions but not to swear at you or about you.

Oh I did read it.......especially your very first line....

It's not right but ignore the comments even though they are rude.

You know it's not right, you know it's rude yet you still advise him to ignore it.....so....which is it? Ignore it or take action? And it's not about the actual opinions it's about how they are expressed......

And before SM gets an itchy trigger finger......I believe I've made my point adequately.......so I'll move on.

 

[haywain]

Padders, has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Jack Nicholson...

...uncanny!

 

[deusex]

I'm with Padfoot here.
Ignore a coach calling you a "s*** ref"? Don't think so.
Misconduct report all day long.

 

[one]

@Padfoot, you can't handle the truth

@JakeRef, My son had a similar incident last year (actually a fair bit worse). Similarly with a coach and his twin sons. One of whom was also the captain. He wanted to ignore the 'after the game incident' because there were no witnesses and the player can deny it. I insisted he writes a report and helped him with it. No surprises that the player did deny it but guess what it lead to an 8 week ban for the player. It turned out that he had a history. A lot more on this case but i wont bother you with it. The point is even if your case does get thrown out (which is very unlikely) you will be helping yourself and anyone who referees this team again by creating that 'history' for the players/coach/team.

 

[JakeRef]

Well, I had a talk with the guy in charge, and he said "Life's full of idiots, and hes one of them." and said to leave it as well. I don't think he wants to be on the wrong foot with any teams, which is totally understandable. Its a high level league, I see some players doing well in the future. I can deal with it.

Thanks for all the help guys!

 

[HertsFinest]

It is obviously up to you what you do. But please don't ignore things if you think he'll just deny it. I used to think being abused was part and parcel of being a ref and to a degree it is. But you shouldn't be made to feel bad when leaving your game for any reason. Ultimately we all do this for our own enjoyment and whatever strange pleasure we get from it shouldn't be ruined. There are a lot of people who suppirt you as a ref. This forum, ref secretaries, local RA etc are all there for you. Any problem you have will be taken seriously. Much more so than you'd imagine because we are all here to help each other. Plus trust me, in these situations the chances of a hot headed, bad loser of a manager being believed over a referee is pretty slim.

Spoken like a true herts finest loyalist I must say. Bravo


Dave is quite right. The attitude of "its normal" is what causes so many refs to start out young, think "f*ck this for a laugh" and hang up the whistle.

Maybe if it was me I'd leave it, but I'm an adult.

A 15 year old should never be subjected to this. Thet knew full well you would hear. Wrong to do that.

No way would I accept one of my kids at 15 be spoken to like that for carrhing out their hobby on a weekend.

Do your colleagues a service and report it.

 

[one]

Well, I had a talk with the guy in charge, and he said "Life's full of idiots, and hes one of them." and said to leave it as well. I don't think he wants to be on the wrong foot with any teams, which is totally understandable. Its a high level league, I see some players doing well in the future. I can deal with it.

Thanks for all the help guys!

I am sorry and amazed to hear the reply you got was to leave it. It sounds as though his interest lies more with his relationship with the teams than your welfare. This person should not be in charge of anything that involves children and minors let alone being responsible for them. I don't know where you are but where i am what he is doing could get him in trouble with the law. Your location points to somewhere in Sydney which is where i am.
If my son was refereeing in this league I will get him out of there immediately but the ultimate decision is yours.

 

[JakeRef]

I am sorry and amazed to hear the reply you got was to leave it. It sounds as though his interest lies more with his relationship with the teams than your welfare. This person should not be in charge of anything that involves children and minors let alone being responsible for them. I don't know where you are but where i am what he is doing could get him in trouble with the law. Your location points to somewhere in Sydney which is where i am.
If my son was refereeing in this league I will get him out of there immediately but the ultimate decision is yours.

I can deal with it, but if it happens again, I'm out of that league.

I do it in my free time, I'm not getting paid to ref this league. So I don't have to put up with this sorta stuff.