The Ref Stop

David coote

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The Ref Stop
I can only imagine having to hide who you are because of the environment of pro football. Also if an ex-boyfriend was the person who leaked/sold the video then **** that guy.
 
Refereeing can be a solitary life and the pressure even outside of the EFL is rising. Questions need to be asked of the support system in regards to welfare adequacy.
 
Agree that it was a worst kept secret that he is gay. At a guess I'd say they backed him into a corner and said they would release a story unless he worked with them to give his version of events.
 
Coote had to go, which is something I said strongly in the other thread, and this revelation doesn’t change my opinion on that.

As a bisexual referee though I feel for Coote truly. It’s something I have hidden in the past. I’m a young ref (and I look much younger than I am), and I can easily fear that people knowing your sexuality would weaken your authority, or subject you open to abuse
 
Sexuality has little to do with what you say about others, if anything it should make you feel more reluctant to say something that would be deemed offensive. I think the culture in football is changing because our youngsters appear to be showing a bit more tolerance towards each other's diversity. But in terms of sexuality, it is something that is personal and is none of anyone else's business.
 
RustyRef said:
Agree that it was a worst kept secret that he is gay. At a guess I'd say they backed him into a corner and said they would release a story unless he worked with them to give his version of events.
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Obviously you have worked more in the profession but I don't believe there was any rumours of David Coote or any PL referee being gay in the public domain? The "interest" has always been in which player will come out as gay whilst playing with The Sun(most probably) click baiting they know one but won't reveal who it is...

I do find the whole thing sad in sence if Coote did not signal advantage in that DOGSO situation, maybe none of this would of came out right now and he will still have a career but I find it bizzare he would have the interview with the newspaper who effectively ended his career with the coke video. I believe he may not of been sacked just because he had a controversial opinion of Klopp but once the other video came out, there was no coming back from that. It does suggest something fishy going on and given the newspaper involved, it wouldn't surprise me one iota.
 
It’s a shame that he had to deal with all of this. Some of it he brought upon himself, but this latest bit shows why that man just needs some help, for his own protection.
 
It all seems a bit surreal, almost like a badly written BBC Three drama.

The series of events seem too well coordinated for this to all be coincidence.

I'm also at a loss as to why there is the need for his sexuality to be publically revealed, he has been publically sacked and should be left to rebuild his life/career and get the help he needs. Revealing his sexuality, either by choice or cohersion, will just increase the abuse and opinion people have of him.

In the same week that Michael Oliver received death threats, the PGMOL, FA and Government/Police should really be seen to be doing more to protect these individuals.
 
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One of the saddest things about (men’s football) is the homophobia and (the miracle) that only a handful of pro players have ever come out.

My experience of refereeing and meeting referees from around europe has been really positive in that I have met many referees comfortable with being out in and around football.

I think and hope the referee community generally can be proud of our inclusivity.
 
Paul_10 said:
Obviously you have worked more in the profession but I don't believe there was any rumours of David Coote or any PL referee being gay in the public domain? The "interest" has always been in which player will come out as gay whilst playing with The Sun(most probably) click baiting they know one but won't reveal who it is...

I do find the whole thing sad in sence if Coote did not signal advantage in that DOGSO situation, maybe none of this would of came out right now and he will still have a career but I find it bizzare he would have the interview with the newspaper who effectively ended his career with the coke video. I believe he may not of been sacked just because he had a controversial opinion of Klopp but once the other video came out, there was no coming back from that. It does suggest something fishy going on and given the newspaper involved, it wouldn't surprise me one iota.
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I never officiated beyond National League, and have never met David, but it was well known amongst referees at my level he was gay, as well as who his partner was. I'm not aware of any referee who had any kind of issue about this, just as I'm not around Ryan Atkin after he publicly came out about being gay. In this modern day I really don't think any participants would have an issue, it is the fans that people are worried about, with some justification based on what we see on social media when a referee makes a decision that people don't agree with.
 
I think this is partly about reclaiming the narrative. He’s lost his job and so now he’s stopping anyone else monetising his story. Get on the front foot, and shut down anything else.

Important caveat: No evidence in the public domain for what I say below.

But I have seen speculation and comments elsewhere that the statement has been made now to derail attempts at blackmail or sextortion. Which would fit with how and why the videos were released in the first place. There’s a whole rabbit hole of possibilities falling out of this that I won’t explore and I implore all other users of this forum not to speculate further on here.
 
There’s lots of gay officials within the professional game. Has been for as long as I can remember. A good portion of them are openly out amongst referees, but maybe not to the wider audience. Is that through fear or from them just not feeling the need/wanting the attention, who knows? Maybe if a well known player came out as gay you would see more of the referees do it.

It could well be true that DC is just trying to out the record straight on why he ended up in the situation he ended up in. And to a point, I do hope that is the case. Especially when you consider what @Tealeaf has just said. The bit I find odd and makes me worry for it being the latter, is who he decided to give the exclusive to. They’re hardly a trustworthy news source, and they were one of the publications who hammered DC. They may have even been the ones who initially broke it.
 
Runner Ref said:
There’s lots of gay officials within the professional game. Has been for as long as I can remember. A good portion of them are openly out amongst referees, but maybe not to the wider audience. Is that through fear or from them just not feeling the need/wanting the attention, who knows? Maybe if a well known player came out as gay you would see more of the referees do it.

It could well be true that DC is just trying to out the record straight on why he ended up in the situation he ended up in. And to a point, I do hope that is the case. Especially when you consider what @Tealeaf has just said. The bit I find odd and makes me worry for it being the latter, is who he decided to give the exclusive to. They’re hardly a trustworthy news source, and they were one of the publications who hammered DC. They may have even been the ones who initially broke it.
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They were the ones that initially broke it. But perhaps they are also the only ones that are paying the megabucks to print his story. It won't be the first time that a newspaper runs a story on someone and then gets their exclusive, and it won't be the last. As is often the case, them printing the story kills the person's livelihood, so very ironic that they then compensate them for it by printing their story.

The problem is the fans, the abuse they, albeit probably a small percentage, would give out to a referee who had come out as gay would be horrendous. I've run the line to several female FIFA referees such as Amy Fearn and Sasa Iringhova, both outstanding referees but the abuse they got from the crowd was absolutely disgusting, just because they happened to be female. My first ever game on the line as an L4 was to Alison Chapman, a really good referee and an even nicer person, and I came away absolutely dismayed at the disgusting comments and chants that she got from the crowd that day. That was nearly 20 years ago, but I really don't have any confidence that things have moved on sufficiently to mean it wouldn't be any different today.
 
Whilst I understand the above comments re choice of newspaper, apologising to a Liverpool manager and their fans in the sun comes across as very naive
 
RustyRef said:
I came away absolutely dismayed at the disgusting comments and chants that she got from the crowd that day.
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I have been fortunate in the last couple of years to work with Isabel Chaplin and Nicoleta Bria, who were just made FIFA ARs, and the amount of abuse they received from the crowd was disgusting. It amazed me because they were probably the best officials I had worked with up to that point in the season so I had no idea where it even came from.
 
James P said:
Whilst I understand the above comments re choice of newspaper, apologising to a Liverpool manager and their fans in the sun comes across as very naive
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I don't think there's any reason to actually doubt what he said in the original videos. He doesn't like Liverpool, he doesn't like their former manager - being caught saying that doesn't mean those aren't his true opinions. So why would he suddenly start being sympathetic to their feelings now?
 
RustyRef said:
The problem is the fans, the abuse they, albeit probably a small percentage, would give out to a referee who had come out as gay would be horrendous. I've run the line to several female FIFA referees such as Amy Fearn and Sasa Iringhova, both outstanding referees but the abuse they got from the crowd was absolutely disgusting, just because they happened to be female. My first ever game on the line as an L4 was to Alison Chapman, a really good referee and an even nicer person, and I came away absolutely dismayed at the disgusting comments and chants that she got from the crowd that day. That was nearly 20 years ago, but I really don't have any confidence that things have moved on sufficiently to mean it wouldn't be any different today.
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Just for balance I’ve been at a few games up here that Craig Napier and Lloyd Wilson have refereed since they both came out a couple of years ago. They got abuse at points during these games but it was never homophobic at any point.
 
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