Considering hanging up the whistle

[zarathustra]

It's sad to hear of a fellow grassroots ref giving it up though I get where you're coming from.

I was thinking after my last game about when I was 16 playing football and how it is these days. I remember it being that if the ref called a foul it was a foul, if the ref called a penalty then it was a penalty we just accepted it cos the ref said it was. Now almost every decision you make is contested often a throw in on the half way line.

It doesn't stop me wanting to ref grassroots football because overall I find it enjoyable cos I just love a game a football on a Saturday morning though sometimes I wonder why I even bother. You never know in a few months you might reconsider and get back out there if not then at least you gave it a go when most wouldn't even have the courage

Yeah, having had sometime to mull over the decision I am definitely out for the remainder of the 21/22 season.

I might see how I feel come the start of next season, doubt I’ll ever go back to Sunday morning football though.

 

[RefJef]

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Have always enjoyed your posts, and you have my utmost respect.

Still just hanging in there myself - finding by doing fewer games I’m starting to derive some enjoyment from it again. Yesterday morning I did congratulate myself on my decision to not do Sunday mornings anymore - I find myself congratulating myself on this decision every week!

 

[Gamespoiler]

I've come off all games until next year. Partly through having man-flu for what seems like all the time, partly through feeling too old for this cold weather and mainly through, just no longer enjoying it so fully get where you're coming from. Best of luck whatever you decide to do with your time away

 

[zarathustra]

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Have always enjoyed your posts, and you have my utmost respect.

Still just hanging in there myself - finding by doing fewer games I’m starting to derive some enjoyment from it again. Yesterday morning I did congratulate myself on my decision to not do Sunday mornings anymore - I find myself congratulating myself on this decision every week!

Thanks, yes I had stopped doing Sunday mornings previously, and I was doing mens football on Saturday and ladies on a Sunday afternoon.

i went back to Sunday mornings as it was the only real time I could reliably organise childcare. Saturday afternoon games were few and far between due to family commitments etc.

 

[JamesL]

Sorry to hear of your decision.
Based on your postings we are losing a top referee which is a shame.
Enjoy what you replace it with and if you ever feel like like coming back to it then it will still be here if we haven't been replaced by tech, of course.

 

[GraemeS]

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Have always enjoyed your posts, and you have my utmost respect.

Still just hanging in there myself - finding by doing fewer games I’m starting to derive some enjoyment from it again. Yesterday morning I did congratulate myself on my decision to not do Sunday mornings anymore - I find myself congratulating myself on this decision every week!

Agreed, reducing the number of games has been a key part of making it remain fun for me this season. Through the mess of admin involved in changing counties, I ended up doing about 10 matches in total across November, and it was too much. My problematic ankles would constantly be sore, and when one of those games was tougher, being thrown immediately into another match felt like punishment more than it used to when the matches were further apart.

So I dramatically cut that down to just 3 matches across November. And although they all ended up being lines (was I being punished?) and 2 of the 3 games involved angry teams based on decisions given by the ref or other AR, I personally felt like I was working to a much higher standard and enjoyed the overall process much more. I'm keeping it to 3 games in December (2 middles & 1 line) and will probably look to keep it the same at least across Jan and Feb as well.

I know I'll have some decisions to make come summer, and will have to accept doing more if I do want to try for promotion next season, but at the moment 2 weekends and a midweek match every month feels like a good balance.

 

[Martiju]

Sorry to hear your decision zara, but completely understand it. I've written about this on here before, but a few years ago now, because I found that I was getting increasingly anxious before games and not enjoying them, I opted just to do lines at a higher level. Going out as a three makes a big difference to me, and can be great fun too with the right mix. The standard of professionalism is that little bit higher (in the main) too - and as a result I generally feel more appreciated. It helps that I really enjoy assisting though, and truth be told I suspect I'm better at that than I am in the middle!

I did use to do a game or two or a month in the middle for the women's game and I do occasionally wish I was out there still - I'm thinking I might do that again after Xmas, just to keep my hand in.

 

[socal lurker]

Sorry to hear your decision zara, but completely understand it. I've written about this on here before, but a few years ago now, because I found that I was getting increasingly anxious before games and not enjoying them, I opted just to do lines at a higher level. Going out as a three makes a big difference to me, and can be great fun too with the right mix. The standard of professionalism is that little bit higher (in the main) too - and as a result I generally feel more appreciated. It helps that I really enjoy assisting though, and truth be told I suspect I'm better at that than I am in the middle!

I did use to do a game or two or a month in the middle for the women's game and I do occasionally wish I was out there still - I'm thinking I might do that again after Xmas, just to keep my hand in.

I do think the team aspect makes a huge difference in enjoyment and lack of burnout. In the US, we use trios far more than the UK. But with referee attrition, I fear that may be diminishing and that by having more solo games, more refs will hang it up, which means there will be even more solo games, which means . . . .

 

[Ben448844]

I do think the team aspect makes a huge difference in enjoyment and lack of burnout. In the US, we use trios far more than the UK. But with referee attrition, I fear that may be diminishing and that by having more solo games, more refs will hang it up, which means there will be even more solo games, which means . . . .

I tried to explain to a CAR at a County game 2 months ago how lonely a day it is for particularly a young ref who's never really been in charge of anything or anyone to suddenly get to a step 7 game at the age of 18/19 and then suddenly he's in charge of a decent standard of competitive football with paying fans etc and how lonely and difficult it is without NARs.

Sometimes we just forget how daunting that can be for people who are often still teenagers or young adults. It's no wonder so many quit.