RefSix

Abandonment because of a coach being violent towards me

JH

RefChat Addict
#21
I did try and get the players name but the player told me to "f off" and jogged off the pitch so that's why I asked the coach to give me his name
At this point Joe you should have either cautioned him again or sent him off outright. Don't be spoken to like that.

Edit: My bad, I thought you just cautioned him.
 

one

RefChat Addict
#23
@JoeMaloney5 I agree with @Ciley Myrus that your first port of call should be your local support team. You said a while ago that someone called you telling you you are getting a mentor. I'd say he would be the person to call immediately after a game like this and as soon as you get into the change rooms. But I wouldn't discourage you from seeking advice here. It is beneficial to you and many others.

As for the handling of the incident, a lot of good advice above. You say "As I was walking off the pitch I noticed Coach A had come back onto the pitch from behind the barrier but because I feared for my safety I just left the area rather than approach him again. "
The bold part of the quote would have most likely come to you much earlier. Don't ignore those fears/concerns of safety. As soon as you feel that way, take action or change your normal course of action. You don't necessarily have to abandon the game as soon as you feel that way slightly but make sure what you do does not escalate the it. For example insisting on getting someone's name when they are threatening to hurt you. TBH I would have abandoned then but if you chose not to, distance yourself from it, still dismiss him and if he doesn't leave abandon.

No one will blame you if you abandon a game for reasonable safety reasons, especially if it is your safety.
 

Ben448844

RefChat Addict
#25
Police matter 100%

You cant let this go Joe, you cant let people like this speak to you or anyone else in that way.
He didn't he sent him off. As for involving the police, if he feels that it is necessary then he absolutely should involve them. But it's a call for him and nobody else should influence that decision, particularly those that weren't there.

I'm not criticising btw, I commend your willingness to try and help, but we shouldn't be influencing young people on these types of decisions from a forum.
 

JoeMaloney5

Well-Known Member
#29
He didn't he sent him off. As for involving the police, if he feels that it is necessary then he absolutely should involve them. But it's a call for him and nobody else should influence that decision, particularly those that weren't there.

I'm not criticising btw, I commend your willingness to try and help, but we shouldn't be influencing young people on these types of decisions from a forum.
Yeah it's fine mate he's only trying to help but I appreciate your side aswell
 

Robbe1

Well-Known Member
#30
Firstly sorry to hear about what happened to you.

In the second half with 30 minutes left two players from either team collided with each other and an away team player was really hurt after 6 minutes of stoppage I asked a home team player to pass the ball back to the away keeper as the away team were in possession when the game was stopped but before I could drop the ball...
Secondly that sounds like you orchestrated a restart, which A) isn't allowed in lotg and B) may cause some problems if the player refuses to do as you told. So I'd avoid doing that in the future, especially in a seemingly heated and unsporting match (at least from the coaches behalf).
 
#32
Firstly sorry to hear about what happened to you.


Secondly that sounds like you orchestrated a restart, which A) isn't allowed in lotg and B) may cause some problems if the player refuses to do as you told. So I'd avoid doing that in the future, especially in a seemingly heated and unsporting match (at least from the coaches behalf).
While you're correct i guess this is something that goes in every game up and down the country at all levels certainly grass roots level.

Ive asked teams probably in every game to kick the ball back and they always have without any fuss.
 

Robbe1

Well-Known Member
#33
While you're correct i guess this is something that goes in every game up and down the country at all levels certainly grass roots level.

Ive asked teams probably in every game to kick the ball back and they always have without any fuss.
Surely works in the lover levels, but in the higher levels surely not. And I don't see a point of doing this, most of the time players understand to kick the ball to the opponents, and if they don't, it's not your problem.
 

lincs22

Supply League Observer
Staff member
Observer/Tutor
#35
I did try and get the players name but the player told me to "f off" and jogged off the pitch so that's why I asked the coach to give me his name
@JoeMaloney5 - if a player leaves the FOP without telling you his name, just make a note of details (shirt number, colour of hair, etc) DONT go asking for his name at the time. If at the end of the game, a coach is reasonable then ask, but otherwise submit with saying the player refused to tell you his name. The club will be charged for the SO and an extra for failing to tell you his name.

@JoeMaloney5 I agree with @Ciley Myrus that your first port of call should be your local support team. You said a while ago that someone called you telling you you are getting a mentor. I'd say he would be the person to call immediately after a game like this and as soon as you get into the change rooms. But I wouldn't discourage you from seeking advice here. It is beneficial to you and many others.

As for the handling of the incident, a lot of good advice above. You say "As I was walking off the pitch I noticed Coach A had come back onto the pitch from behind the barrier but because I feared for my safety I just left the area rather than approach him again. "
The bold part of the quote would have most likely come to you much earlier. Don't ignore those fears/concerns of safety. As soon as you feel that way, take action or change your normal course of action. You don't necessarily have to abandon the game as soon as you feel that way slightly but make sure what you do does not escalate the it. For example insisting on getting someone's name when they are threatening to hurt you. TBH I would have abandoned then but if you chose not to, distance yourself from it, still dismiss him and if he doesn't leave abandon.

No one will blame you if you abandon a game for reasonable safety reasons, especially if it is your safety.
As you are under 18, this is also a safeguarding issue. If you haven't spoken with your CFA Referee Development Officer, then do so. Also speak with the CFA Welfare Officer. The coach (A) is guilty of bullying, and maybe in breach of the CFA / league regulations and could be subject to a separate charge. If he is like this with you, how is he with his players...
 

QuaverRef

I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
#36
While you're correct i guess this is something that goes in every game up and down the country at all levels certainly grass roots level.

Ive asked teams probably in every game to kick the ball back and they always have without any fuss.
If there's no fuss that's probably because they were going to do it anyway. If they refuse, what would you do then?
 

JoeMaloney5

Well-Known Member
#37
Firstly sorry to hear about what happened to you.


Secondly that sounds like you orchestrated a restart, which A) isn't allowed in lotg and B) may cause some problems if the player refuses to do as you told. So I'd avoid doing that in the future, especially in a seemingly heated and unsporting match (at least from the coaches behalf).
Ohh God I put that in my report
 

JoeMaloney5

Well-Known Member
#38
What I did was I called the player to me I said "its going to be a drop ball are you going to kick it back to the keeper?" He said yes then the coach came storming on the pitch
 

Ciley Myrus

RefChat Addict
#40
Just goes to prove beyond doubt the sensible procedure going forward is, contact the correct persons for advice, and then submit report, and then, if needed for guidance in how to handle things better/diff in the future, by all means post publically.

Telephone call to designated person, "hi its Joe here, need some help with my game today....."

there is no alternative.
 
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