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A year today

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Homer Ref

Homer Ref

Well-Known Member
Level 5 Referee
It has now been a full year since I qualified as a ref. I can recall the first months being the most stressful and having a masscon in only my 2nd match really tried my resolve to continue. I won't lie - there have been times - usually right after games that I have thought about packing it all in. Then I sleep on it, post about it on here, I am given great advice and pointers as well as reading about other referees' experiences and I think about it getting better and changing how I react to what happens. Yes I have quit two leagues that I used to referee regularly because I had a bit more respect for myself than dealing with certain coaches' egos. Not done an open age game yet, but guessing it won't be long. So basically all I am saying to any new ref is keep posting here, keep reading here and keep asking questions. Most importantly think about your own mental health... to be constantly told you are wrong, that you are not good enough by people is not a good thing to bear for anyone, try to drown the doubt that brings by telling yourself you know what you are doing, you are good enough and mistakes are natural - nobody gets it all right, they give their opinion of what they see and how that applies to the laws of the game. Opinions can be wrong, everyone can be wrong. Thanks to all here for the support and encouragement and if you are a newbie then you have found the right place.
 
The Ref Stop
I have been doing it for 6 seasons and still have the odd game/situation where I think why do I bother but I won't let these people stop me doing something that I in the main enjoy. Good advice from you to other newbies.
 
A balanced and sensible view, @Homer Ref
Ignorant criticism comes with the job - just imagine being the leader of a major political party, receiving threats and vitriol every day and night, and that gives some idea of the pressure on our colleagues who officiate in the Premier League and international football.
At our level, it has become second nature to question decisions, post ill-informed comments on social media, and/or stand near the touchline to shout abuse, sadly.
It now comes with the job, which is very sad, but referees can only do their best in every game, with the knowledge that they are the only person at the game who knows the laws and competition rules.
Every referee will at some stage have thrown the kit in the corner and said "I've had enough". . . and most feel better after a short while, and look forward to their next game.
There is plenty of support available on here and locally, as a problem shared is an issue halved.
Keep up the good work👍
 
My favourite analogy, is that we're piano players. Anyone can stand there and tell someone how they should play the piano, but can they play it themselves ? no, they can't ! Maybe we play the wrong notes at times, but we've been taught how to play it, and know what to do. Until they've learnt to play it themselves their views don't hold much weight
 
HibbyGaz said:
I have been doing it for 6 seasons and still have the odd game/situation where I think why do I bother but I won't let these people stop me doing something that I in the main enjoy. Good advice from you to other newbies.
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My routine is like this...
Sunday evening...why do I do this ? did I get that decision wrong etc ?
Monday evening...it's not that bad. I got the vast majority correct, didn't I. I'll check the one I think got wrong and do better next time
Tuesday evening...I wonder who i've got this weekend ?
Wednesday evening...Can't wait. Bring it on !
 
I'll be honest @Homer Ref I've just finished my second season. I thought about packing it in several times this season, unlike last season. It's important to remember we will likely make less mistakes than the players and coaches do, and it sounds like you have reflected well. I've ultimately decided I probably will carry on next season, but I will be having the summer completely off (ie no friendlies/tournaments - at least until the end of July) and just chilling. If I still want to carry on, I will. Sometimes a few weeks away from it is all you need to realise how much you really enjoy it. Often I say I'm taking 2/3 weeks off and then by the following Tuesday I've found myself a game for the same weekend!
 
Mental resilience, recovery, self-analysis, and commitment are all part of the way to progress (either literally through promotion, or through experience and personal growth) as we all navigate a challenging yet rewarding hobby/career. This is the best place to share your thoughts, worries, ideas, yet also to listen to others with theirs.
 
Great reflections @Homer Ref and good advice for newbies.

Just finished year three and have occasional days/games where I wonder why I bother. Like you, I’ve stopped doing a certain league (that doesn’t appoint) for a certain club because of the behaviour of their coaches. The very same team that wonders why it struggles for refs week in, week out. I’ll actually miss the challenge in a masochistic way but, frankly, I know I’m better than they deserve, I know I spend more time and thought on my craft than they do and other leagues/clubs are more deserving of my service and commitment.

This site is a God-send for those of us who largely middle on our own outside of semi-finals and finals and who don’t want to move too far up the ladder, either due to family commitments, starting too late, being comfortable where they’re at or any combination of the three.
 
Just finished my second full season.

It's been trying at times. But it fills a void by giving purpose. The cash sitting around is nice (for my wife).

I've maybe considered quitting two or three times. But nothing I've taken too seriously.

Really enjoying pushing myself to learn law and get fit. Which has been a fallout from the referee promotion tests.

I did the 4-3 test for a FA CORE trial and I passed but I didn't feel great. So pushing myself so it becomes a cake walk.

Found out a premier league ref lives in my estate, so I've been brushing shoulders with the big dogs. Also getting massively involved in my RA has been great.
 
Archer said:
Mental resilience, recovery, self-analysis, and commitment are all part of the way to progress (either literally through promotion, or through experience and personal growth) as we all navigate a challenging yet rewarding hobby/career. This is the best place to share your thoughts, worries, ideas, yet also to listen to others with theirs.
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I started refereeing in 1998....! I've had a couple of gaps, but always kept in touch with it. I still get anxious in the lead up to every game, and there are plenty of times I've wondered why I continue to do it. Now I mix lower league refereeing with a bit of AR work in the WNL and mentoring new referees - it still remains one of the most rewarding things I've ever done - and that's what's always kept me going.
 
Martiju said:
I started refereeing in 1998....! I've had a couple of gaps, but always kept in touch with it. I still get anxious in the lead up to every game, and there are plenty of times I've wondered why I continue to do it. Now I mix lower league refereeing with a bit of AR work in the WNL and mentoring new referees - it still remains one of the most rewarding things I've ever done - and that's what's always kept me going.
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Your last sentence sums it up for me. The season brings plenty of challenges, some of which are in your control - availability, fitness, knowledge of law - and some that aren’t - postponements, merit tables, arseholes… but it’s the group chats, the RA or CORE events, training sessions together, seeing your mates get a plum fixture and then your turn comes along too and they’re just as happy for you in return.

I’ve worked in the same industry for 15 years but it’s football that has given me life-long friends (and I include colleagues, players, club staff in that), coaches and mentors, and now… people to coach and mentor myself.

Wouldn’t swap it for anything.

Except one of those blue cards, maybe 🤑
 
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