The Ref Stop

4 games in. Reflections

Abeverley

Abeverley

Well-Known Member
Hi guys.

So I’m 4 games in now.

I’ve done U16 girls, U14 boys, U14 girls and an U11 boys.

Really enjoyed it and have a few things to reflect on which I thought I’d share and see if anyone had similar things at the start of their career.

I’m happy with how the games went and really happy with my match control which I maintained throughout all matches.

Just things I did which I will endure I won’t do or allow again.



  1. the managers knew I was a new ref and tried to tell me what to do and give me ‘advice’ and ‘guidance’ on what a particular decision was wrong etc. I largely ignored it but told one at half time to leave it out and I’ll call what I see fit at the time.

It was relating to foul throws and my leniency towards them in an U11 game.

After the match I realised I had confused the guidelines I had read for mini-soccer and the document on 9v9 so I was far more lenient than I should have been.

One to put down to experience.



  1. Subs. I told the manager or each match that it was one off, one on. None of them listened. I had to send several players back off the pitch and it was meant with moaning by managers. I really don’t want to book players for coming on like that when they’re kids and only doing what their manager has said. In future I will tell the managers this and then book the first one I think. That should stop it.
  2. In the girls under 16 match they seemed to want to stop the match every time someone was down for more than a second and were complaining when I sent one to the side to take a nose-ring out (I know, I know- see next point) when I told them to get on with it. Had to warn the goal kick taker that I was running out of patience and to take the kick
  3. I missed a nose ring at kit inspection. It was tiny and only saw it in the game as it reflected sun light at me. I know I was right to send her to take it off and right to allow play to continue while she did so but I will manage this better and make sure I tell managers before the match to make sure there’s no jewellery and check extra vigilant in my inspection.
  4. I’ve had very low levels of dissent, certainly nothing that warranted a card. Just complaining etc that I managed to stomp out quickly by having a word. I like walking off with them so everyone knows they’re getting a telling off and then loudly telling them ‘no more’ or ‘final warning’. Everyone gets the idea and no one can be surprised if they carry on.
  5. In my U11 match there were lots of incidents where the kids ended up crying. A hard (but fair tackle) and one where he claimed to have been elbowed in the eye. I believe him, but I didn’t see it and he didn’t tell me until we were 40 or so yards away from where it happened. I need to be more aware of the younger kids bending rules I think (or doing very naughty things).
  6. The pitch for one of the matches was awful. The grass was a bit long and the lines were faint. It was a nice surface but before the game I took both managers on and said ‘can you see the box, can you see the touchline?’ Etc. They said no. I explained to them that any decision I give will be in my best ability based on what I can see and that I expect zero noise from you if you think it’s out of play etc etc. That seemed to work.



Anyway, if you’ve read this far you’ve earned yourself £10. Contact padfoot to collect lol.
 
The Ref Stop
Sounds like things many people go with. From my experience, heres my advice:

1. Did you go over to the touch line to manage the sub? If you are going to domit properly you have to be at the touchline. Even doing a jewelry and studs check if your by the boot. At low level games becareful booking them for that. Pick your battles. Instruct rather than force an issue.

2. Use common sense. Is it a head injury? Is it a significant injury? Can it wait or should I stop play when balls in a mutual position? Hard to judge. Definitely dont stop everytime a players down or that would cause chaos!

3. Easily missed. I missed one the other week on a Womens FA Cup games. Spotted by the ref before the match during handshakes luckily. Just make sure checks are done at your pace and thorough. Its player responsibility too!

4. Use your own tolerence. A passing word first maybe. Second stop play and have a chat. Lastly card them. If what they say goes over the top. Jump straight to cards. Everyone will have a different tolerence and it will depends on the match too. Just keep control.

5. Not much you can do about crying kids. Maybe be more inclined to stop play if its through an injury but will always be a bit awkward. Be sympathetic but still judge tackles fairly as you would.

6. Good way of highlighting it. Still playable for Sunday league stuff. Not worthy of calling it unplayable but might make managers think a bit. Dealt with before an issue so welldone for being proactive!!!

7. @Padfoot wheres my £10???
 
Yes my 4th game also !! Mostly the same scenarios as you !! Had to talk to 2 managers
About loud parents ! Then there was the under 13 with the glasses I did not let play !!
Good point about the pitch will use that one!!
No cards yet ! Not needed them but 3 pens !
All what you say is true and like you I face as an older referee the same problems I think we all will ! But it can only get better hey
 
  1. the managers knew I was a new ref and tried to tell me what to do and give me ‘advice’ and ‘guidance’ on what a particular decision was wrong etc. I largely ignored it but told one at half time to leave it out and I’ll call what I see fit at the time. Everyone thinks they're a ref but only one is qualified and read the book. Stick to your guns




  1. Subs. Speak to the managers and captains before the game and explain the reasons why. If they want to moan when it actually happens then that's their problem
  2. Injuries. You don't have to stop the game unless there's a serious injury or head injury. It's all about managment, if they are going to ground at every opportunity from the slightest touch, play on!
  3. You'll miss some, it happens. We don't have metal detectors and some players like to hide them as well for whatever reason. I always line the players up to check studs/jewellery and whilst doing it, I'll talk to them as well, just saying make sure it's all out as any I miss, you'll have to go off the pitch to take it off if I spot it later. Also good to clarify that taping over it is not acceptable.
  4. Good management but be careful with 'final warning' shouts. I've done this before and forgot who I said it to. If they do something else and you just talk to them again, the other team might give the verbals.
  5. Easily done, but adults will do the same as well if they can see your back is turned! We're only human
  6. I think that's a good decision but may be worth telling the home manager that some refs will call it unplayable (at their own risk).



Anyway, if you’ve read this far you’ve earned yourself £10. Contact padfoot to collect lol.[/QUOTE]
 
1. Managers giving advice they re all refs and the real refs who are coaches are the worst
1. Subs at youth level like herding cats.
2. I ref girls/womens football as I would a mens game, they quickly realise that I won't stop play unless a serious injury or a head injury.
3. If you miss jewelry tell them to leave the field of play let play continue then allow them back on at a stoppage as you need to check. If they get lippy just say I won't allow you to play until it is removed.
4.Dissent at youth I caution for this all the time when I feel it has gone past my tolerance level.
5. Crying kids not alot you can do about this apart from be sympathetic
6. Pitch well managed.
Sounds like you are doing great
 
The kids going down injured is a concern ive had, his team mates and parents/coaches will all scream to stop but all the other side will say carry on.

You have probably noticed already that when a kid goes down injured he usually gets up just as the manager gets close so down for about 30/40 seconds, ive always stopped play to let get the player receive treatment but looking back maybe i shouldn't have.

Tough one as their as a welfare issue here as well but kids are getting more and more sly as they get older and will go down "injured" to get the game stopped.
 
Tino Best said:
1. Managers giving advice they re all refs and the real refs who are coaches are the worst
1. Subs at youth level like herding cats.
2. I ref girls/womens football as I would a mens game, they quickly realise that I won't stop play unless a serious injury or a head injury.
3. If you miss jewelry tell them to leave the field of play let play continue then allow them back on at a stoppage as you need to check. If they get lippy just say I won't allow you to play until it is removed.
4.Dissent at youth I caution for this all the time when I feel it has gone past my tolerance level.
5. Crying kids not alot you can do about this apart from be sympathetic
6. Pitch well managed.
Sounds like you are doing great
Click to expand...
 
Yes I’m 4 games in also one of my main problems is brain freeze see a tackle blow the whistle then point the wrong //::::ing way ouch!! I think it’s nerves well I hope it is does anyone else get this ? Help would be appreciated
 
Thanks for the responses everyone.

I will be managing subs better from now on. I’ve not been going to the touch line (I check everyone for jewellery etc before the match) but I will be from now on and I can remind them there if needed that they need to wait.

The advice here has really helped in my game management. Especially at a drop ball where the manager told one of them to put it back to the keeper and she asked me what she had to do. I just told her I can’t tell her what to do but her gaffer said to pass to the other keeper.

When the young ones went down the ball seemed to be always out of play so I just held it up and asked if they were ok. Seemed all ok with everything there. Didn’t need a drop ball at all in my U11 match.

For dissent; I’m currently deciding my tolerance levels. I ref 6 a side men’s for the practise and I’ve not had anything said to me there or on a proper match that has warranted a yellow card or more.
If they have a whinge about a decision I simply tell them to ‘leave it out’ or similar and that seems to do the trick.
I have 5 kids of different ages so I’m know how to talk to kids lol.
 
Subs - one on, one off, at the half way line....personally I would save this for when you get to a higher level and have neutral assistants (where it is important and expected by observers/leagues/clubs etc). On Sundays, by myself, with rolling subs, I’m not worried about where they come on.
 
You will find that with cautions the first ones are the hardest to give. Once you have got that monkey off your back you will use them as and when you need them rather than fudging decisions. That was my experience and you can caution at youth level but it might be the first caution they have ever received.
 
Abeverley said:
Thanks for the responses everyone.

I will be managing subs better from now on. I’ve not been going to the touch line (I check everyone for jewellery etc before the match) but I will be from now on and I can remind them there if needed that they need to wait.

The advice here has really helped in my game management. Especially at a drop ball where the manager told one of them to put it back to the keeper and she asked me what she had to do. I just told her I can’t tell her what to do but her gaffer said to pass to the other keeper.

When the young ones went down the ball seemed to be always out of play so I just held it up and asked if they were ok. Seemed all ok with everything there. Didn’t need a drop ball at all in my U11 match.

For dissent; I’m currently deciding my tolerance levels. I ref 6 a side men’s for the practise and I’ve not had anything said to me there or on a proper match that has warranted a yellow card or more.
If they have a whinge about a decision I simply tell them to ‘leave it out’ or similar and that seems to do the trick.
I have 5 kids of different ages so I’m know how to talk to kids lol.
Click to expand...

6-a-side you don’t have the size of pitch that leads to the ”warning on the run” I guess...

Be careful with warning on the run. It’s not good for a proper warning at any level. Only use if it’s a little word. Best tip I ever got: at the first real dissent at e.g. Dead ball, double beep, pause the game, isolate the player, give a proper sermon, stand tall, cut the grass.

And never say ”next time it’s a card” because you will come unstuck, something open ended instead ”don’t talk yourself into a booking...”
 
I posted on here roughly two weeks into the season (im only a new ref myself) that i found i was punishing the offences with the free kicks but not dishing the cards out as i should have (mainly petty dissent, delaying re-start of play and a handball possibly dogso)

I was advised on here to use the cards, it can be a bit daunting even though im a confident person myself, last week i had two u13s on the Saturday trading blows easy red cards, then i found on the Sunday i gave two YC both for dissent (which i might have let go a month or so ago)

Maybe it is a case of once you give the first couple of cards it becomes much easier.
 
I have no issues with giving cards at all. I just haven’t had the need yet. I’m sure soon enough I will need to lol.

Just has a message from the league appointment officer telling me that in the under 16 girls match I got a rating of 95.
Pretty chuffed with that!
 
spuddy1878 said:
I posted on here roughly two weeks into the season (im only a new ref myself) that i found i was punishing the offences with the free kicks but not dishing the cards out as i should have (mainly petty dissent, delaying re-start of play and a handball possibly dogso)

I was advised on here to use the cards, it can be a bit daunting even though im a confident person myself, last week i had two u13s on the Saturday trading blows easy red cards, then i found on the Sunday i gave two YC both for dissent (which i might have let go a month or so ago)

Maybe it is a case of once you give the first couple of cards it becomes much easier.
Click to expand...
A punch up in U13s is far from normal btw
Maybe it's a Merseyside thing haha
 
Zimmyman said:
Yes I’m 4 games in also one of my main problems is brain freeze see a tackle blow the whistle then point the wrong //::::ing way ouch!! I think it’s nerves well I hope it is does anyone else get this ? Help would be appreciated
Click to expand...
Think to point at the offending team’s keeper. Then direction will be right.
So easy to do things like that when thinking of a million things at once.
 
Abeverley said:
Think to point at the offending team’s keeper. Then direction will be right.
So easy to do things like that when thinking of a million things at once.
Click to expand...
Which is fine, if you can remember which keeper is which :confused:
This is a very common problem for us newbies, but i reckon there's plenty of experienced refs out there who still do windmills when indicating direction. I'm increasingly commentating to myself, 'red on the attack, blue defending' etc
Particularly on corners, I'm very wary of pointing to the spot for a defensive free kick :(
A scenario which haunts me for some reason, despite having never come close to enacting it
 
Big Cat said:
Which is fine, if you can remember which keeper is which :confused:
This is a very common problem for us newbies, but i reckon there's plenty of experienced refs out there who still do windmills when indicating direction. I'm increasingly commentating to myself, 'red on the attack, blue defending' etc
Particularly on corners, I'm very wary of pointing to the spot for a defensive free kick :(
A scenario which haunts me for some reason, despite having never come close to enacting it
Click to expand...
Good evening Big Cat..
Hey I learn something new in every match I wirk at regardless of the beautiful game type...😊👍⚽️🚩
 
Big Cat said:
Which is fine, if you can remember which keeper is which :confused:
This is a very common problem for us newbies, but i reckon there's plenty of experienced refs out there who still do windmills when indicating direction. I'm increasingly commentating to myself, 'red on the attack, blue defending' etc
Particularly on corners, I'm very wary of pointing to the spot for a defensive free kick :(
A scenario which haunts me for some reason, despite having never come close to enacting it
Click to expand...
 
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