That's your fault ref!

My personal favourite will forever be;

'Why did you send me off?'
'You called me a knobhead 15 times'
'You can't send me off for that'

Heard a new one first hand yesterday, although I have heard it mentioned before...

Awarded a goal in the first 5 minutes, one player shouts offside, and it spreads through the team with the remaining 10 like nits in the school yard.

I calm it down as we go to take the kickoff, and the goalkeeper shouts 'offside [something, something] dickhead'

I stop the kick being taken to caution the goalkeeper and as I walk back to the centre circle, one of the players about to take the kick off says 'it's not all about you ref'

'Anybody else been called a dickhead from 40 yards for making the right decision? No? Let's get on with it then eh?'