Return?

Hi all,

I haven't officiated in that long I actually can't remember my last game (edit: checked and it was at the end of August). I decided to take an extended period away from refereeing as I found myself coming away from every game having not enjoyed it, even when I'd had a decent game. This followed on from having a poor end to my season last year. I'm debating whether or not to try another game before Xmas comes around, and wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation/could give me some advice please?
If I do go back, I'm planning on doing a lower age group where there's not so much pressure to start with.

I barely ref 'proper' football these days, half a dozen games a season maybe. Proper mix of post match emotions, but you deffo can't have match sharpness the amount you/I ref which is bound to impact enjoyment. Give it a go properly for a few months and see how you feel after?

Gabriel said:

Hi all,

I haven't officiated in that long I actually can't remember my last game (edit: checked and it was at the end of August). I decided to take an extended period away from refereeing as I found myself coming away from every game having not enjoyed it, even when I'd had a decent game. This followed on from having a poor end to my season last year. I'm debating whether or not to try another game before Xmas comes around, and wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation/could give me some advice please?
If I do go back, I'm planning on doing a lower age group where there's not so much pressure to start with.

Click to expand...

There were many occasions when I came away from a game not having enjoyed it, but the pull of being involved in football and hoping the next game would be better/more enjoyable enabled me to keep at it until a messy divorce brought things to an end - hence why I then became an Observer. So started playing when I was 8, finished at 29 from a serious head injury, Referee until 40 and Observer since then (I’m 64 now). Unless bad weather or my (2nd) wife wants to go away I’ve been out every Saturday (and midweek).!!

FWIW, when I have felt very disgruntled and considered hanging up the whistle, I found lower key younger games were a good way to remember why it’s fun.

Gabriel said:

Hi all,

I haven't officiated in that long I actually can't remember my last game (edit: checked and it was at the end of August). I decided to take an extended period away from refereeing as I found myself coming away from every game having not enjoyed it, even when I'd had a decent game. This followed on from having a poor end to my season last year. I'm debating whether or not to try another game before Xmas comes around, and wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation/could give me some advice please?
If I do go back, I'm planning on doing a lower age group where there's not so much pressure to start with.

Click to expand...

I was where you were earlier this season, so I hear you. Sh1tty game to end last season (dead rubber, I had a good game but numerous cards, sin bins and dickish behaviour), and my first three games of this season, where again I thought I did well, left me feeling a) why do I bother taking grassroots refereeing so seriously when too many players are arseholes and b) I’m better at what I do than what they do at our level, and that they didn’t deserve my services.

So I’ve quit open age Sunday’s for now and referee U14s to U18s Sat AM & Sundays (would love to middle or AR Sat PM but family commitments mean I can do maybe one a month. I’ve done a couple of open age games for teams that behave (our league is now short on refs) but have also started doing BUCS games midweek. There are still challenges - parents can be a pain - but I’m finding it far more enjoyable and rewarding than Sunday league. Hope you get that back too.

Oh, and whilst it’s never been about money for me, you I get the same at u14s, and more at U15/16, and even more at U18 locally, than our local league.

I almost jacked it in completely 3-4 months into my first full season, 15 years ago ended up just running the line on our Step 7 league for the rest of the season, and always going out as a team of three made such a big difference, especially being with a referee and usually an AR who were a higher level and more experienced than me.

DavidObs said:

There were many occasions when I came away from a game not having enjoyed it, but the pull of being involved in football and hoping the next game would be better/more enjoyable enabled me to keep at it until a messy divorce brought things to an end - hence why I then became an Observer. So started playing when I was 8, finished at 29 from a serious head injury, Referee until 40 and Observer since then (I’m 64 now). Unless bad weather or my (2nd) wife wants to go away I’ve been out every Saturday (and midweek).!!

Click to expand...

I have explained to my wife that a messy divorce is necessary if I am to be an Observer
She is in the loft passing down suitcases . . .

Thanks all. As luck would have it, an obviously very desperate U9 manager messaged me last night. I’ll do their game on Sunday to really get back into it without having to think too much, and possibly an U12/13/14 afterwards to see how I get on. Ultimately I do love being involved in football, so I hope it goes well.

update: both games were postponed so I still don’t know I’ll try again next weekend