Game Yesterday

Morning chaps - long time reader, first time poster; recently promoted L6 about 40 games in to my refereeing journey.

Apologies for the very very long read, no offence taken by anyone who ignores/thank you to anyone who has nothing better to do on a Sunday morning…. I just wanted to paint the picture as best as I could as I’m after some thoughts/advice as the game I had yesterday felt a bit strange thinking back. Maybe the game/circs will sound familiar to a few on here…

Div 3 of 6 in the county league (and for reference Club assistants don’t do offsides in this county) The game itself was an entertaining 5-4.

‘Easy’ start to the game. Nothing really happens, nothing contentious, everyone behaving (I should also say it was on 3G, and not the best type, so it was never going to be a game for much sliding about). Home team having a lot of possession but not doing a great deal in final third.

~15min in there’s a fairly nothing foul which Away 6 didn’t like, when running into position for the free kick I attempt to explain it and he dismissively waved his hand at me but other than being a bit rude I didn’t feel it was worth a talking to.

Away team go 1-0 up around 20min. Against the run of play but no controversy in any of it.

Temperature begins to rise ever so slightly and it starts to feel like a game. A couple of offsides met with the usual moans but nothing noteworthy.

Coming up to half hour gone an away player goes down after running into a home player. Genuine accident, no foul, home player just continued and play went on. I glance over my shoulder and he’s on all fours but he looks OK and he’s not effecting play (in the LB area). By now away team have taken over the ball and are about to start what looks like a promising attack when I hear an away player say “it’s a head injury ref”, I glance back over the kid on the floor is now holding his nose. I stop play to a chorus of loud moans from the away team as I’ve stopped their attack “why didn’t you do it straight away”, to which I replied “it wasn’t obvious at all at first it was a head injury but that one of *their own* players flagged that it was” (and it actually was, he had a small amount of blood coming from his nose and ended up going off). Through no real fault of my own I now feel I’ve lost a few away players.

Home penalty on 32. LW gets onto bye line, tries a shot from an acute angle, half gets it off but gets wiped out by a challenge just afterwards. I paused a good 2-3 sec, one of those where you play it back in your head to think, and give the penalty. Not one I’m thinking back on now regretting, it was a pen. Away defence going spare nonetheless.

The Away 6 takes his protests a little too far at the penalty so I give a firm, prompt blow on the whistle, very publicly pull him aside, explain the decision in a clear manner and tell him any more and he’s off for 10 min. Penalty goes in, 1-1, Away 6 “well done ref” with a thumb up 2 yard in front of me…. see you later, in the bin (as far as he goes - he comes back on after the sin bin, not a peep for the rest of the game, job done).

Away 10, down to ten, kick off, go down other end and score in 30 seconds. 1-2.

Game becomes a bit of an offside-athon both sides of HT; if there was 6-7 I’m 95% confident I got all bar one right, the ‘one’ I got blinded by a body coming across and didn’t step myself right at the wrong moment, could have been wrong, but came to nothing in any case. One of the offsides I had to pull a home player aside as he wasn’t happy - basically their forward had come way back into play from his starting offside position, the lad obviously had poor knowledge of law and just didn’t get why I’d blown, so whilst he was annoyed, I felt a sin bin would have been harsh. Home 21 (mentioned later) then comes over and tells his player to leave it. I tell him to let me explain why I’ve made the call as I’m mid sentence (don’t get me wrong, it was a 10 second explanation, not a lecture on the offside laws) but he talks over me and tells me how he’s come to “diffuse it”. I thanked him, but told him I was doing the talking, finished with the initial player whilst the 21 was telling me to, impatiently but not aggressively, to get on with the game. Annoyed by his attitude I blew my whistle again, pulled him over and said words to the effect of ‘whilst I appreciate you’re attempt at diffusing it, I’m officiating this game and I’ll decide when we get on with it, I was explaining the decision to a player for his own sake and don’t need assistance in doing so’. Again, at the time I feel a sin bin would have been harsh and possibly lost me the home players as such rather than maintained control, but looking back I think others might have. It’s probably the one incident I’m not confident was correct typing this up.

2-2 55’, don’t remember much about the goal, so going to say therefore it wasn’t noteworthy.

Shortly after, away think they’ve made it 2-3. RW breaks into area, they’re 2 on 1, he plays it forward/square across goal to the 9 who’s 6 yards out but miles in front of the ball/player and taps in. Easiest one of the day, whistle blown, hand up. Cue absolute away team outrage. I give it a “lads we’re not arguing about this, that’s the easiest one of the day, let’s play on please number whatever it was the lad taking the free kick”

But this is where it starts to feel strange. I’m thinking to myself as we go on ‘I’m having a steady game here, not really had masses to do bar a seemingly endless amount of offsides, but I’m getting the calls right, I’m playing some decent advantages yet everyone on the field is against me like I’m getting it all wrong and having a total shocker’. That’s not arrogance, I genuinely think the decisions are right* - we’ve all come off a pitch thinking ‘Christ I wish I’d done x, y or z better/differently’ or have felt we lost control of a game, but this just wasn’t either.

Then, 5 minutes later I get the total opposite for the away team, 9 gets put through. Home 22 in a different postcode to the rest of the defence keeping him on. Scores, 2-3. Home team now going mad despite it now being the joint easiest onside/offside of the afternoon! Home skipper gives it a sarcastic clap under my nose, yellow flashed, in the bin - he didn’t argue.

Away 16 booked on ‘70 for stopping a promising attack down the right. Even he was laughing it was that nailed on.

Then a completely mental 5 minutes.

Away go 2-4 on ‘73, goal on the break.

Home get penalty (stonewall, zero appeals) on ‘74, scored, 3-4

Home equaliser. Worldy. ‘76. 4-4

Home 21 fouls on half way ‘77, one of those deliberate shoulder barge motions that wasn’t actually a barge as such but was a blatant obstruction, he knew exactly what he was doing. Beige for the foul itself I thought but then he petulantly threw the ball 15 yards away so I booked him for that.

‘80ish, away want a penalty. For me away team throws himself into the keeper (and only goes down as an afterthought). Met with shouts of “how’s that any different to theirs”. ‘None, other than the fact it was totally different’, I’m thinking.

Again, I’m given the free kicks where they’re needed, I’m being consistent with cards, yet I feel that everyone on the pitch is against me. I wouldn’t call it a lack of control per se, it was just something I’ve not experienced before.

5-4 ‘82. Another really good goal.

Not a massively eventful last 10. Home team park bus, a couple of daft tired fouls but more about making sure home team weren’t taking mick with time wasting etc than anything else.

FT.

Just a weird game. I don’t even know how I feel after it. On one hand I’m fairly satisfied it was standard day of the office, but on another I’m doubting myself, did I lose control without it feeling like, if I did, how? It wasn’t that the decisions were all wrong, they were black and white offsides - I can’t control those or sell them, or even let them go to help control the game. I don’t know what I’d do differently if I reffed the same game again, yet I feel every player would be on my case. Difficult to articulate what I mean.

I’ve had MUCH tougher games where I’ve come off thinking ‘yeah that was rubbish’ or the flip side where they’ve been complete carnage as games but I felt like I’ve nailed it, this was just very weird.

*As a final caveat to all of this the home team had a Veo so I’ll likely see the game this week (I got it last time I reffed them where unsurprisingly I got 10/11 offsides and a penalty bang on despite multiple shouts at the time!), so we’ll know how accurate all of this is or isn’t….

Anyway, thanks for reading if you’ve got this far!!

Longest post I've read here. A very good reflection and you have great memory.

The only thing l'd say is don't dwell on the offsides too much when you are on your own.

one said:

Longest post I've read here. A very good reflection and you have great memory.

The only thing l'd say is don't dwell on the offsides too much when you are on your own.

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Haha, that’s my days doing the match reports in my playing and managing days coming out! Thank you.

Sounds to me like two teams were trying to make you second guess yourself to sway the game their way. You mention that the home team have been vocal previously, even though your decisions have been correct, so they have form for it. Maybe you just got two of those sort of teams which is why it felt different? In my (more limited) experience, vocal teams don't want correct decisions, they just want decisions to go 'their way'.

Sounds to me like you've had a good game.

benmc said:

Sounds to me like two teams were trying to make you second guess yourself to sway the game their way. You mention that the home team have been vocal previously, even though your decisions have been correct, so they have form for it. Maybe you just got two of those sort of teams which is why it felt different? In my (more limited) experience, vocal teams don't want correct decisions, they just want decisions to go 'their way'.

Sounds to me like you've had a good game.

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Thank you.

Yes, you’re possibly right, maybe just two teams both that way out to an extreme which I’ve never had and caught me off guard.

Just a case of channelling it out and backing yourself in these cases?

Correct re the last part - although as it happens, in that first game it was actually the away team who were on the end of most decisions, the home team weren’t an issue then, and again, bizarrely as it happens, also had two PKs in that game too (but lost 4-2).

It sounds like a "hard but fair" game where the players’ frustrations didn’t necessarily reflect your performance. You kept control, applied the laws, and dealt with dissent consistently. If anything, this experience will make you better prepared for similar situations in the future. Be proud of how you handled it—you'll always have games like this, but they make the next ones easier!

Every referee has games where they come off second-guessing themselves, even after doing everything right. The fact that you're reflecting is a sign of a good referee. Watching the Veo footage will probably confirm your decisions and give you more confidence moving forward.

Good luck!

I’m an advocate of using your voice when I’m coaching referees. But perhaps today you’ve gone too far the other way.

Multiple times you’ve been explaining things to players and your write up gives the impression they didn’t want to know. If they’re going to naysay everything you tell them it’s pointless and psychologically that’s going to make you second guess yourself.

In those circumstances, keep it brief and move on. “You’re offside because ….” Foul/no foul because…” run to next position and whistle to restart.

Self-reflection and analysis like this is so important as a developing referee, so kudos for doing it and sharing with us all. As others have said, sounds like you just got two of *those* teams. Had much the same yesterday too, away side just not happy with anything despite me having next to no impact on the match. Park those decisions you doubt, and focus on the next one.

Simply being a member here and critiquing yourself puts you head and shoulders above many of your peers. Keep up the good work!

Tealeaf said:

I’m an advocate of using your voice when I’m coaching referees. But perhaps today you’ve gone too far the other way.

Multiple times you’ve been explaining things to players and your write up gives the impression they didn’t want to know. If they’re going to naysay everything you tell them it’s pointless and psychologically that’s going to make you second guess yourself.

In those circumstances, keep it brief and move on. “You’re offside because ….” Foul/no foul because…” run to next position and whistle to restart.

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Great read @JamboRef24 sounds like a cracking match and kinda normal for a match with lots of goals, penalty decisions and offsides.

As I read I was thinking similar to the @Tealeaf …explaining key decisions and non-decisions doesn’t have to mean getting into longer conversations with players. Better a quick explanation that lots of players can hear before anyone has a chance to even whinge: “he was late and the ball’s still in play”, “small contact but enough to lose the ball” etc.

We had a great classroom session last week where a senior ref reminded us: players are always going to have strong emotional reactions different from yours and we all have our own strong sense of justice and injustice.

As a ref you need your be the adult in the room and develop supernatural empathy. I used to try to connect too much with players “at their level” and was too emotional about decisions. You don’t need to get so involved. Somehow empathy as a ref is also realising that trying to change a player’s mind is pointless. Rather, I understand what you saw, this is what I saw.

I’ll a) tell you what it was, b) explain it as I’m resetting, beyond that… I’m probably 30 yards away by now.

No player wants a conversation or explanation. They want five seconds to rant about how you’re wrong.

Archer said:

I’ll a) tell you what it was, b) explain it as I’m resetting, beyond that… I’m probably 30 yards away by now.

No player wants a conversation or explanation. They want five seconds to rant about how you’re wrong.

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Completely agree. Players questioning stuff is 99% a trick to get inside your head and hope to get the next 50/50.

Questioning ‘why was it a goal kick ’ doesn’t really need a response as you obviously felt it came off the attacker last. But players will still question it.

For the more trivial or controversial incidents, by all means offer a brief explanation. But other than that, get on with it.

I'm not that experienced, this being my first season. I am learning, slowly but surely that we shouldn't be looking for anything but respect on that pitch. Yes, have banter but to many players you are also the opposition, especially if they take a dislike to your decisions. Explaining stuff is better left until the end when tempers have settled and events are not so raw. If I explain anything it is that I give what I see and it is my opinion of what I see. Opinions are not facts and can always be open to question but those questions don't always need explaining - you just say what you saw and why. No debates, no arguments and I walk away.

Thanks for all the response chaps, really helpful.

You’ll be pleased to hear upon receiving the veo footage that both penalties were stonewallers, and I got 10-11 of 13 offsides bang on— 1 was 50/50 and I’m none the wiser, 1 was just wrong and another was an absolute shocker but came to nothing thankfully!