The Ref Stop

Junior/Youth U11 pre game handshake??

Back in my schooldays being called Ginger was probably one of the least horrible remarks you could get. I'm sure those of a certain era know what I ultimately refer to, I'm sure some of our little cherubs today don't know they are born when you know what some players went through! Different era and i'm glad its far far better these days but I don't remember handshakes before of after games except the captain at the toss! Some games were wars! Refs didn't blow for hardly anything and cards were almost non-existent! You could get away with far more back then on the pitch, fouls etc.
The last thing you'd want to do is shake hands at the end!!
 
The Ref Stop
Sheffields Finest said:
Back in my schooldays being called Ginger was probably one of the least horrible remarks you could get. I'm sure those of a certain era know what I ultimately refer to, I'm sure some of our little cherubs today don't know they are born when you know what some players went through! Different era and i'm glad its far far better these days but I don't remember handshakes before of after games except the captain at the toss! Some games were wars! Refs didn't blow for hardly anything and cards were almost non-existent! You could get away with far more back then on the pitch, fouls etc.
The last thing you'd want to do is shake hands at the end!!
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Yes old man, while this might have been true but times have changed ;)

Going back to the OP, just think about why/what does the handshake mean? What are you trying to teach those kids? Because let's be honest at that age you are just as much teaching them about life and football as you are refereeing them. I personally think it is a nice gesture, you are teaching those kids, that you have to respect your opponent. That you have to compete fairly and you owe it to them, yourself and your teammates to do so with dignity and respect. It is about instilling these values in kids who will grow up later on and if you contributed even a tiny bit to them getting better values as they grow up and mature then kudos to you sir!
 
There's been a slight change of plan, my first game won't be u11's, I've just had a phone call from the reserve team manager at the club I coach at, inside friendly last game of pre season, so will be reffing that tonight, little bit more nervous with it being OA mainly cos I can sell decisions to an U11 easier than an adult, but we'll see how it goes, thanks for the advice you've all given regarding the handshake👍
 
Strong on your whistle and be confident with your decisions. The more confident you are the more the players will accept your decisions. Just remember 11 players will agree with your decision and 11 players will disagree with your decision!
 
Tino Best said:
Just remember 11 players will agree with your decision and 11 players will disagree with your decision!
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Or as happened in a game I played last night... 10 players (plus bench) upset with a decision, 12 players (our team plus the guy "fouled") agreed.

Guy gets up, turns to the defender that "fouled" him and says "dude, great tackle, I thought I had you that time". :)
 
Baptism of fire that tonight, even with an inside friendly, felt like I really struggled to call offsides, tried to adjust my positioning but then found myself in the way of the game or miles away from play, gave a pen that both teams thought wasn't, thought I struggled to stamp my authority on the game, influenced by players too much and no confidence in my decisions.100% should've booked a player for dissent but chickened out of it, a few other things that I thought I didn't do so well, gonna take my mind of it for a few days and then see how I feel about refereeing in a few days to, really really tough and not so enjoyable first game.
 
ConnorWJH said:
Baptism of fire that tonight, even with an inside friendly, felt like I really struggled to call offsides, tried to adjust my positioning but then found myself in the way of the game or miles away from play, gave a pen that both teams thought wasn't, thought I struggled to stamp my authority on the game, influenced by players too much and no confidence in my decisions.100% should've booked a player for dissent but chickened out of it, a few other things that I thought I didn't do so well, gonna take my mind of it for a few days and then see how I feel about refereeing in a few days to, really really tough and not so enjoyable first game.
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The first time ever you got behind the wheel of a car how were you?

And now?

Disclaimer, only really relevant if you drive!
 
ConnorWJH said:
Baptism of fire that tonight, even with an inside friendly, felt like I really struggled to call offsides, tried to adjust my positioning but then found myself in the way of the game or miles away from play, gave a pen that both teams thought wasn't, thought I struggled to stamp my authority on the game, influenced by players too much and no confidence in my decisions.100% should've booked a player for dissent but chickened out of it, a few other things that I thought I didn't do so well, gonna take my mind of it for a few days and then see how I feel about refereeing in a few days to, really really tough and not so enjoyable first game.
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But you survived!
You even recognise some of your failings!
So what did you do right? That's part of the learning curve too. Find both positives and negatives in all your performances, keep doing the +; correct the - and you become a better referee. Simples, now get back out there this weekend......
 
ConnorWJH said:
Baptism of fire that tonight, even with an inside friendly, felt like I really struggled to call offsides, tried to adjust my positioning but then found myself in the way of the game or miles away from play, gave a pen that both teams thought wasn't, thought I struggled to stamp my authority on the game, influenced by players too much and no confidence in my decisions.100% should've booked a player for dissent but chickened out of it, a few other things that I thought I didn't do so well, gonna take my mind of it for a few days and then see how I feel about refereeing in a few days to, really really tough and not so enjoyable first game.
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Well done. That you realised these things shows you have something. These are all things that happen to everyone for 5, 10, 20 games... handling dissent is still my biggest challenge after 300ish games. It doesn't come like rain. There's a lot to learn that you can only get from seeing other refs slightly higher than you deal with similar. Good luck.
 
ConnorWJH said:
Baptism of fire that tonight, even with an inside friendly, felt like I really struggled to call offsides, tried to adjust my positioning but then found myself in the way of the game or miles away from play, gave a pen that both teams thought wasn't, thought I struggled to stamp my authority on the game, influenced by players too much and no confidence in my decisions.100% should've booked a player for dissent but chickened out of it, a few other things that I thought I didn't do so well, gonna take my mind of it for a few days and then see how I feel about refereeing in a few days to, really really tough and not so enjoyable first game.
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Get some Youth Games under your belt to help with learning the Laws, get used to the whole process and get some confidence back
Hopefully over time, you'll realize that the best (not the worst) thing about this refereeing lark, is that it's not easy. Certainly got my full attention and i'm entering my third season
 
I think my main area of self-criticism is confidence, I lost count the amount of times I should've blown for a careless foul cos I thought it was 'too soft' or thought "I can't sell that", and those times when I did blow, i.e for the pen, I had no confidence in my decision and was a little sheepish when explaining my decision to the defender, also changed my mind on a decision from corner to goal kick, which is frustrating me now, thanks all for advice, current feeling is getting down to youth games and racking them up get my confidence up so when I do step back up to OA I have the confidence and a little experience to sell my decision.
 
ConnorWJH said:
I think my main area of self-criticism is confidence, I lost count the amount of times I should've blown for a careless foul cos I thought it was 'too soft' or thought "I can't sell that", and those times when I did blow, i.e for the pen, I had no confidence in my decision and was a little sheepish when explaining my decision to the defender, also changed my mind on a decision from corner to goal kick, which is frustrating me now, thanks all for advice, current feeling is getting down to youth games and racking them up get my confidence up so when I do step back up to OA I have the confidence and a little experience to sell my decision.
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These events are not unique to you! It takes a lot of practice to recover from mistakes. Even at the top level, you sometimes see referees completely lose their way and these are officials who've been assessed as excellent at what they do on many occasions. The players are like hyenas on occasions, exposing any uncertainties you carry. Honestly, the process of getting to grips with all this is potentially very rewarding. Just don't expect it to happen overnight
 
We all have bad games and we all come off the field thinking I could have done that better. You learn more on these games rather than the ones you breeze through. As you get more experienced your foul recognition will become better and you will learn how to deal with dissent better, each game is different to how you deal with it. Miley has a great point with his driving analogy but the fact you are questioning yourself and want to learn shows that want to be a ref and to improve. I have come off games where I have had teams moaning like mad but I think I have done allright and done games which I feel I have reffed poorly but the players have thought differently. Use this forum for advice it will make you a better ref
 
For a friendly, its up to the teams.

Did a step 4 v step 6 open age Women's Friendly recently and neither team was bothered about hand shake so we didn't!
 
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