The Ref Stop

Young Referee abuse

C

cdsman

Member
As well as being a referee, I'm also involved with a kids football club.
After an UNDER 10s match last weekend, one of our CHILD referees (age 15) had to write the following misconduct report about an ADULT coach from the opposition team! The referee left at the end of the match in tears...

"I gave a free kick to on the edge of the box, to which the player rolled into the box. The manager ran onto the pitch and started telling me it was a penalty. I gave the free kick and took the appropriate amount of steps away from the ball for the wall. He shouted at me that I had placed the wall too close. He consistently said this throughout the entirety of the game. Until later on in the game when I placed the wall the exact same distance away to which he said 'why haven't you been doing that all game' even though I had.

I gave the decisions fairly as I saw them to both teams. Whenever I gave the home team a foul he disagreed with, he shouted 'clearly a home ref then'. During the game one of players slid to intercept a ball before it reached the opposition player. He got nowhere near to the player, and the ball rolled out of play. The player then fell over and without permission the manager ran onto the pitch and started telling me in my face that it was a foul. I gave the throw in as my decision to which he said again 'clearly a home ref then.'

I felt like he was trying to intimidate me due to my age by constantly trying to undermine my decisions and I think this was noticed by all the spectators.

He continued to repeat these comments during the match no matter what I did."

I know his report is a bit waffly and he should have been helped to deal with the situations during the match (by the home manager for example), but we will ensure that we support this referee and hope that the opposition coach is correctly dealt with! He should not be near to a football pitch that involves children in my opinion!
 
The Ref Stop
That's a prime example of why many young referees walk away from the game. Young referees are essential as there are many older referees (In my area) that are not going to be refereeing for much longer. Hopefully the Referee is ok, and continues to enjoy the game.

Most leagues will have an internal respect campaign, especially at grassroots levels, where the league can take action against this type of behaviour and fine a club, and/or remove a manager/team from the competition. I'd recommend that a copy of the report be sent to the league chairman/respect officer, so the league can take any action internally, as well as sending the report into the CFA.

The report isn't too bad, hopefully there is some disciplinary action taken against the manager, as this type of behaviour needs to be discouraged especially in Youth Football!
 
Thanks both for the additional advice. Although the league does not have a formal 'Respect programme' I'm sure that they will take action as you suggest - so we will share a copy of the report with them.
Have also informed our club welfare officer....
 
Always amazes me how some people behave when they're "in charge" of a group of kids. If they're not berating the kids, then it seems they're abusing the referee. Thankfully, as I've said many times on here before, the youth league (U14 & U16 age group) that I middle for on occasion has no such problems. :)

I have to say though, that last Saturday, during an open age match I was refereeing, the away team coach got me the closest to losing my cool that I've ever been.
He was chopsing away from about the midway point of the first half after his team began to surrender their 2-0 advantage to go in 3-2 down at half time. Ten minutes into the second half, after I dared to give what he thought was an obvious throw-in to his team the other way, (club AR was unsure) he exploded into a volley of foul-mouthed abuse and proceeded to undergo what looked to me like somebody having an epileptic fit whilst stood on two legs, with a bit of Tourettes thrown in as well!!
Blowing my whistle loudly to halt the throw-in whilst I went over to him to give him the standard "one more word and your participation is over matey" spiel, he proceeded to stand right up to me, almost with his chin on my chest whilst I read him the riot act (basically telling him that I was prepared to hear no more and that I'd be reporting his attitude and abuse in any event) after which he appeared to calm down a touch. I'm ashamed to say it, but I really had to control my natural aggression as I jogged over to him. He backed away a couple of feet then and said "Well help us out a bit then" !! :wall: I walked backwards onto the field and replied "I'm not here to help you out, I'm here to referee a football match". I couldn't hear what he said in response (probably just as well for him).
I did report his behaviour in my match report but was still angry even as I typed it.

I suppose my point is, and I'm sorry to hijack your thread with it @cdsman that there are some people who, for reasons only they or their psychiatrist will know, are just simply unable to control their emotions when it comes to football. Hell, I even found myself feeling like dishing out some on Saturday when faced with this little turd abusing me. :(

What is it that makes some people think that the guy wearing the black kit is somehow some sort of nerd who can be abused, when in fact, if you spoke to him like that in the street or the pub, you'd likely be spitting teeth.

Still Angry of Somerset. :rage:
 
Kes said:
What is it that makes some people think that the guy wearing the black kit is somehow some sort of nerd who can be abused
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Er... I could attempt to answer that, but the length of my reply could overwhelm the site, taking it down for a number of hours until the database is upgraded to accommodate my post
 
Big Cat said:
Er... I could attempt to answer that, but the length of my reply could overwhelm the site, taking it down for a number of hours until the database is upgraded to accommodate my post
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No, go on BC. :)

Give us your psychological profile of the serial referee abuser. :D
 
Ciley Myrus said:
We in reality are merely traffic wardens with cards instead of tickets....
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And you have to allow to wash over you (to some extent) the comments that you'll overhear from the sidelines. Like traffic wardens (gosh, traffic wardens take me back a long time on this site...) and police, their abuse is targeted at the uniform or the role, rather than personally at you as an individual. Doesn't make it right though.
 
I think its getting worse not better and thats the big concern.

This season in 40/50 games ive shown just two red cards to players but ive had to send 7/8 parents away from the field of play for abusive language and poor behaviour.

Im early 40s so although i should not have to take it i know how to deal with it, i wouldn't have a clue what to do if i was between 15 and 18.
 
Kes said:
Blowing my whistle loudly to halt the throw-in whilst I went over to him to give him the standard "one more word and your participation is over matey" spiel, he proceeded to stand right up to me, almost with his chin on my chest
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You did well under the circumstances but I can't help it with a coaching point. Sorry mate :)

If he is that close to you, either he is where he is not supposed to be or you are where you are not supposed to be. TA ends a meter away from the touchline. When reading the riot act, stay inside the FOP by at least a meter. This is especially important at grassroots. It avoids all sort of problems (for you and him). If he steps into the FOP to confront you, he gets his marching orders.
 
one said:
You did well under the circumstances but I can't help it with a coaching point. Sorry mate :)

If he is that close to you, either he is where he is not supposed to be or you are where you are not supposed to be. TA ends a meter away from the touchline. When reading the riot act, stay inside the FOP by at least a meter. This is especially important at grassroots. It avoids all sort of problems (for you and him). If he steps into the FOP to confront you, he gets his marching orders.
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Fair point.

I was boiling over inside at that point, so actually went over to the edge of the TA to speak to him. I'll have to remember that. Not that it's a common occurrence anyway.

Now, I'm simply unable to allow your heinous spelling of the word "metre" to pass, notwithstanding your other good advice.

Take heed Sir. :p
 
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Can’t condone abuse but I watched a young ref once, he was about 15 reffing u7s, all the kit and the badges, absolutely hopeless, he missed everything and hardly ran about anyway. I approached him cautiously at HT explaining that I was a referee and on his side, he was a rabbit in headlights and just wasn’t open to even a happy chat, I didn’t have a go at him, but he thought I was a parent having a pop. Second half didn’t improve either, I felt sorry a bit for all concerned because he didn’t have a Scooby Doo on what constitutes a foul or just about anything. Can’t help when you get obnoxious parents who can’t understand that Mike Dean didn’t turn up...
 
I'm still very new to this refereeing malarky, still in my first season. Have done around 30 games so far, all junior football, U12 to U18, mainly U15/U16. In 30 games so far, no red cards, 6 yellow cards. But.......3 parents dismissed and 2 coaches dismissed all for the way that they spoken well shouted really to me. I simply do not tolerate abuse from the sidelines, but am now very conscious perhaps that I am concentrating on the sidelines more than the players. I always told any new coaches in junior football to remember that they were there to coach the children, not the parents. I wish I could apply the same when refereeing, blanking out all noise from the sidelines but find it so hard to do so.
 
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