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Junior/Youth Young referee – intimidating behaviour from manager & linesman. What should I do?

level7_16 yr old ref

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Hello everyone. I had a very intimidating U15s game yesterday, where I felt the manager and mainly linesman were using bullying behaviour towards, I think mostly because of my age. Please help me - i don’t know what I should do next (if I need to) - submit a match report etc? Btw I am 16 yrs old so I was only reffing 2 years below me.


One incident in particular caused a lot of disagreement. I had already blown the whistle for a handball. About one second after the whistle, an opposition player ran towards the ball, which had gone up into the air, and jumped to contest it with the player underneath. The contact looked to me like two players naturally competing for a header. I didn’t see an elbow or any deliberate attempt to hit the player, and the contact appeared accidental. The player underneath went down and held his head, so I immediately stopped everything and checked that he was okay.


The linesman from the other team then came over to me and said, “What are you going to do about that, ref? Are you just going to ignore the fact that you just got elbowed in the head?” I’m a very aggressive intimidating tone. I explained that I didn’t believe it was an elbow, that the player had simply been attempting to contest the ball in the air, and importantly that I had already blown the whistle approximately a second before the contact occurred. I told him that was why I had stopped play and was checking the player’s welfare rather than taking further action for the contact.


He continued questioning me, saying that I was there for the players’ safety and asking whether I was just going to ignore what had happened. I repeated my explanation and allowed the manager (from the same team as the lino) to come onto the pitch to check the player. The manager then also became involved, questioning what I was going to do and telling me to watch what the players on the other team were saying. I told him I was watching everything and eventually the situation settled and the free kick was taken.


After the match, the same linesman initially thanked me but then turned back and said there were three challenges I should have given and that I “needed to really reflect on that.” He said this in a very intimidating bullying way. I said that I appreciated his opinion but could only give what I saw.


Interestingly, the manager from his own team later came over and said that the linesman was being unreasonable**.”** The other team’s assistant/linesman also independently told me that he thought I had done “absolutely brilliantly,” told me not to listen to the other linesman, and called him a “*****.” He said I had done really well and that the other linesman’s behaviour was not something I should take notice of.


A few parents from both sides also thanked me afterwards.


I didn’t want to explain everything that happened, as there are several different disputes that occurred, but I know no one will read everything. However, If you do want to hear the rest of what happened, I would be so so thankful! ❤️ Please let me know whether I should do any reports etc.
 
The Ref Stop
The behaviour described is not acceptable, especially towards a U18.

I would suggest submitting an extraordinary misconduct report on the Referee Portal, and copy it into an email to your County FA's RDO and Safeguarding Officer. Also the league should have a safeguarding officer. In your report focus on each incident exactly what happened towards you, by who, and when. Do not censor any bad language used from your reports. (Maybe save it on your computer first in case you get automatically logged out of the portal)

You might want to think about whether you are being clear enough with club assistants about what you want them to get involved with. Whether it's ball in/out or offsides too, think about saying clearly something like 'please leave everything else to me' if you aren't already doing. This will help you later on if a club assistant acts inappropriately, you can remind them you asked them not to get involved with fouls, and it gives you a clear reason to ask that team to replace the assistant if necessary.
 
I am in Australia and we don't use CAR. My guess is for reasons similar to your circumstances. I'd suggest reach out to a mentor, or your RDO or someone senior who can give you advise on how to manage CARs. It is very difficult at your age handling adults approaching you in a confrontational and intimidating manner.

My short advise is in future try to politely disengage from any conversation that you feel intimidating. They will always make more comments or ask questions to reel you back in but it is up to you to put an end to it. It won't be easy.
 
Hi @level7_16 yr old ref

I trust you are ok after this.

The best thing to do is report it to your RDO first. They may recommend you formally report it to the CFA or the league.

Not to disagree with @CaptainsPlease , but I wouldn't do an extraordinary report with the RDO advice.

It may not be a disclipinary action but it is highly likely, this is a safeguarding issue - which leads down a different reporting path.
 
Hi @level7_16 yr old ref

I trust you are ok after this.

The best thing to do is report it to your RDO first. They may recommend you formally report it to the CFA or the league.

Not to disagree with @CaptainsPlease , but I wouldn't do an extraordinary report with the RDO advice.

It may not be a disclipinary action but it is highly likely, this is a safeguarding issue - which leads down a different reporting path.
There is potentially a disciplinary issue too here both for the individual and the club.
 
Can I just add here - try to focus on the positives (I know this is really difficult) - it sounds like you handled these difficult situations very well - especially as a young referee.

Comments like - ‘I appreciate your opinion but can only give what I saw’ is a really good calm response to someone that is being really intimidating.

Try not to take any actions or comments personally (again really easy for me to say) this experience will undoubtedly make you better at handling these things next time.

Keep up the good work and don’t let the experience of some immature, uneducated big children put you off.
 
There is potentially a disciplinary issue too here both for the individual and the club.
There can only really be a discipline issue if sanctions have been issued by the referee during the game. At grass roots it is very difficult for CFAs to start disciplinary proceedings where no cards have been issued.

But safeguarding is different and they can implement proceedings there regardless of whether any action was taken at the time by the referee.
 
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