The Ref Stop

Why do I bother?

M

Matthew

RefChat Addict
Had one of those games, yet again, on Saturday that makes you wonder whether its worth it.

Every decision was wrong. All the decisions went one way. I was the worst ref they'd ever seen.

Two cautions for dissent, one of which turned into a second yellow for a player who just couldn't keep his thoughts to himself. Why do players and coaches think that it's ok to treat referees like :poop: every single week? I was booed by the away parents, who cheered and sarcastically applauded whenever I gave a decision in their favour and constantly came out with 'two teams here ref' etc etc. Obviously though, it isn't the coaches responsibility to deal with it because "they're adults"; he refused to deal with them until I said that the game would not restart until he did so.

The away coaches told me I was a disgrace at the end of the game, before asking me to 'forget' the cards because they're only kids. I don't care whether he's 10 or 110, if he can't keep his mouth shut, he's going to be booked. "We just felt we didn't get a lot today" and you go on about respect but "you don't deserve it when you perform like that". Really? You honestly think that you can say and do what you want just because you disagree with my decisions?

Anyway, misconduct report for the red carded player who continued ranting as he left the pitch, misconduct report for the spectators and for the away coaches for their behaviour at the end of the game.

The end of the season cannot come soon enough. Summer break then onto a new challenge next year, I love it too much to give up and let the idiots win.

Oh, forgot to mention, this was an U14 game! :(
 
The Ref Stop
It happens to the best (and worst) of us mate, so don't let it get you down. This was the reason I stopped doing kids a few seasons ago, but instead of being a coward like me well done for fronting up.

These people will only learn from actions like yours, don't let yourself get bullied.
 
There do seem to be particular teams where this is a problem; not necessarily clubs/age-groups, but specific teams. I primarily do youth, with the odd bit of Vets thrown in (having decided early on that Sunday morning open age wasn't for me - perhaps the teams I got initially, but my decision was made). Consequently I experience a lot of this - sometimes its the "better" team where parents etc are screaming at every decision, sometimes its the "poorer" team. Sometimes its the dads (and grandfathers), sometimes its the mums (never experienced a grandmother screaming from the touchline yet). Its not every week, but certainly consistent from a particular team and you will get the abuse every match you do for them. I've tended to let it wash over me on the whole, but am seriously contemplating coming down hard on it next season. My league's AGM is in a few weeks, which I'll be attending as a club secretary, and intend to raise the issue. No kick-off without respect barriers - full-stop; barriers further away from FOP; issue new warnings to all clubs ahead of new season about "Respect" and ask referees to enforce a stepped approach (e.g. raise issue with home manager, final warning, abandon). But then we're reliant upon consistency, and last week's ref... It does trouble me though that in a few years time we'll have even fewer referees because the new generation won't be coming through at aged 14 - the vast majority that I know locally have given it up: sure some through other commitments, e.g. weekend work, playing football etc, but some definitely because they feel intimidated and exposed - and football as a community, and refereeing as an organisation doesn't seem to provide sufficient support. We also need to understand where this comes from, and unfortunately I've seen it and experienced it at mini-soccer level - an U9's incident with the parents and managers worse than almost all I've experienced at youth and even OA/Vets.
I do try and explain it away the same as a policeman - they're not having a go at me as such, but at the "uniform" - but all the really enjoyable games you do where both sides play hard but fairly, and the parents are all supportive and appreciative, can be ruined by the odd, but increasing number of times you comes across a gaggle of abusive screamers.
</EndofRant>

For now, I would recommend you let this incident wash off you, enjoy the summer and any tournaments that you might be doing, and come the new season nail it and don't take any proverbial.
 
Its great to go and run the line for a level 4 or 5 and see them have a superb game and get **** during and at the end. Really re enforces the fact that you're not a useless piece of **** but the uniform is the target.

We are there for enjoyment the same as the players. Ultimately you have to try and ignore it and enjoy yourself. Players don't have a right to moan at you in an aggressive or intimidating manner.

If you get **** let the cards do the talking. They claim "last weeks ref didn't send me off for that ref"

Well www.giveash*t.com/nope

The CFA are still going to ban you and fine you and I couldn't care less.

I've done my job. Regardless of last weeks ref ( we are never going to resolve this issue ) I know I've enforced the laws and not let them act how they want.

Now its beer time and I can relish the next week... Knowing that the cretinous cluster of bovine idocy that gave me **** last week, won't be there to do it this week.

Job done, beer in hand, telly on, lights down low... You get the point. Won't spoil my weekend fella.
 
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Couldnt agree more @ref craig its funny how during a game you can normally match up the gobby parents with the gobby players. Its like mirror images of each other.
 
Generally back in the day if I was to swear In front of my mom or dad they wouldn't just rince my mouth out with soap id also be getting a red arce for my trouble as well but the generation now is the total opposite to it now
 
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Couldn't agree more with @Yacinho s post... My other half is a teacher and I can't emphasise the difference between when I was a kid and how it is now !
I played for a local team when I was about 14 (I played in Goal) and whined at the referee about a corner and said he was **** (so everyone could here)... My dad made the manager sub me. Beasted me infront of everyone and made me apologise to the ref at the end...
These days that wouldn't happen !
 
ref craig said:
Generally back in the day if I was to swear In front of my mom or dad they wouldn't just rince my mouth out with soap id also be getting a red arce for my trouble as well but the generation now is the total opposite to it now
Click to expand...

I'm 31 years of age and I still wouldnt swear in front of my Mum!
 
I have spent a little time on the naughty step for accidentally slipping out a ctaergory b swear word in front of the kids. A minute for every year daddy, you know the rules!

39 long minutes. :(

And I don't swear in front of my mother. Just feels wrong.
 
I swear in front of my pops - to be honest I work with him all day long, gets frustrating - but I never swear 'at' him, there is a difference!

my mum? she would beat my fat arse black and blue! I also try to cut swearing in front of my much better half !

I like the fact that even you use the naughty step @SM - must teach the kids well!
 
@Charlie Jones my mum wouldnt beat me, it would be ten times worse. She'd be both horrified and disappointed at the same time. I cant handle that sort of guilt. I would swear around my old man, but not very often. I never swear in front of my daughter. She's two and picks up everything and doesnt realise what she is saying at times. She turned round and said "mummy's a mug" the other day. So theres another word I didnt realise I used that much that I have to stop using!
 
:rolleyes:
DaveMac said:
@Charlie Jones my mum wouldnt beat me, it would be ten times worse. She'd be both horrified and disappointed at the same time. I cant handle that sort of guilt. I would swear around my old man, but not very often. I never swear in front of my daughter. She's two and picks up everything and doesnt realise what she is saying at times. She turned round and said "mummy's a mug" the other day. So theres another word I didnt realise I used that much that I have to stop using!
Click to expand...

Now that is fantastic!

Home from work. "Where's my dinner you mug" haha

50 shades of @DaveMac
 
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