The Ref Stop

Junior/Youth "That must be a new change in the rules for that to be a red!"

DaveMac

DaveMac

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
U17 game and rather tasty. Both green and whites would argue black was white all day long. Every decision would cause a big moan. I got a player in the book early who was being goby then not retreating ten yards. Thought it would calm things down, and worked with him.

Every throw is being moaned about. 22 minutes in and the ball goes out, green throw and whites captain goes mad, and shouts to the CAR "you're a cheat." Immediately I call him over and tell him he can't say that. At this point I made a judgement call as I asked his name as he'll be going off for that, and he pauses not giving his name. So I show the red, as don't want there to be a long delay as can sense players are going to wade in and will take a while to get things cooled down. In hindsight I should have waited and givn him another chance to give his name, but decided not to. Obviously whites coaches and crowd go mad.

I walk the player over to the side to also let his manager know why he's gone, as thought this might least calm them down a bit. As I tell him, I ask for the lads name and he says yeah "it's Joe Bloggs, he's my son." Obviously at which point my heart drops as think I could tell him anything he's hardly going to be understanding. He then said the laws must just of changed as he hadn't heard of someone being sent off for saying cheat before!

I'm utterly gutted these people are running football clubs and teaching these young men to play and behave.

Both sets of coaches were pretty disgraceful. Often heard both teams moaning, whites obviously more so. The whole we're playing against 12 and so on.

I'm actually pleased with my performance. It was fiery, but someone was going to walk today. If the whites captain hadn't someone would. It was that sort of game. But it never boiled over like it could have done.

It's just so gutting to see these lads moaning and complaining about everything. The greens cottoned on that I was blowing for everything and moaning at me was getting them nowhere and got on with it. Whites didn't get that and ultimately lost because of it.

I did however have the best CAR ever from the white team. So good. Afterwards I said he should think about taking up the whistle, but we agreed today was hardly the best advert for becoming a referee!
 
The Ref Stop
Sometimes people will go into games with the mindset of 'the referee's a w****r', and there's no helping them.

I played in a game like that today. Ref seemingly couldn't sell anything, only ended up with one yellow which was a bit of a surprise tbh (This is under 17s as well). After it I'm seriously considering hanging up the playing boots. There's enough trouble controlling 22 in my games, don't want to have to act as referee for my own team...
 
Sounds just like both of my games this weekend! No matter what I do, take the stepped approach, get the cards out straight away, it always ends in the same thing: Someone losing their rag and rewarding themselves with a lovely red card. Bloody brilliant.

I just try my best to ignore teams like that. In the main league I do my games on, theres loads of well natured teams who just want to play football. For every 10 of these, there's always 2 or 3 which just want to spoil it for everyone. It's sad, in all honesty.
 
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I've had to dismiss a player for calling me a cheat mine could been avoided but in end deserve to go
 
ref craig said:
I've had to dismiss a player for calling me a cheat mine could been avoided but in end deserve to go
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This was weird really as it was over a throw maybe 20 yards from the half way line. Granted I'm surprised the lino gave a flag which way, but I hadn't even looked as made the call myself. To then shout the CAR was a chest was just ridiculous really.

What has annoyed me is I thought I had a good game. A couple of decisions I'd normally have come away thinking hmmm could have given it. But overall was pleased. So the fact I was getting such abuse for the entire 90 minutes makes me wonder why I bother. In many ways I wish I'd been awful then could at least understand the abuse I was getting!

Hopefully next weekend will find me a couple of teams that are willing to actually play a bit of football.
 
Well it be same as if some was to swear at you or give dissent I always would give a caution if club assistant referee asked me too he really gave you no choice
 
ref craig said:
Well it be same as if some was to swear at you or give dissent I always would give a caution if club assistant referee asked me too he really gave you no choice
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Did you misword that or did you say you'd give a caution if a CAR asked you to?
 
Well really I have not had a case yet where a car has asked me to caution or send off but I have cautioned 2 players for giving dis respect for opposition car
 
There's just no helping some teams Dave, they go on with the mentality that the ref is out to get them and nothing you do or say will change that.

The important thing is that you're happy with your performance, which it sounds like you are. Don't let it get to you, move on to the next one and perhaps most importantly, try to keep in mind that thankfully most teams aren't like that.

Well done for supporting your CAR too :)
 
Completing my reports I noticed I had a booking in another U17 game a couple of weeks ago and did remind me what a decent bunch they all were compare to these lot today!
 
ref craig said:
Well it be same as if some was to swear at you or give dissent I always would give a caution if club assistant referee asked me too he really gave you no choice
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Hold your horses fella. Ignore the CARs requests or opinions. You either hear what was said to the CAR yourself and decide what sanction is justified yourself, or you don't hear it and do nothing (aside from trying to keep a closer ear on words towards the CAR).

Asking for trouble otherwise.
 
Must have that is why I put a new statement saying what car said I'd ignore but caution a player if he said something in dissent
 
I had something similar on sunday. U15s match, maroon v blue, anyway, 3rd minute in, maroon defender jumps with his arm in the back of the blue wingers head on the half way line. It wasn't a forceful shove or anything it was just the way the jumped together so I gave a free kick as he pushed the wingers head forward ever so slightly so that he couldnt get the flick on. So I gave a free kick and just said try and keep your arms down pal, and as he started walking away, he just said 'F*ck off' and I called him over and i was thinking about a red but i thought, ill give him a yellow since its very early stages and I didnt want to ruin what had been a well mannered start to the match. About 20 mins later, the same player goes flying in for a tackle, it was reckless as it was an angle from behind and he scissored the midfielders legs. It was a stone wall yellow so I called him over again, noted the Yel x2 on my pad and bam! Brandished the yellow and red. *Cue groans from parents and spectators* since they were about 5 yards away from the tackle. Anyway, half time, I go to get my drink, and a parent comes over and says:
'What was the first yellow for ref?' and i said 'Dissent'.

He said 'so early on, really? No warning?'. I said that he'd said 'F*ck off'. And then the parent has the pure cheek to say 'actually it was p*ss off ref but still thats disgusting, you cautioned him so early on and now the game is ruined, yeah ok the second yellow was definitely a yellow but the first is ridiculous. You should have told them at the start of the match.'

And I was raging inside at this point and I was just like 'Theyre 15, they should know that swearing at a referee, regardless of if they say p*ss or f*ck, theyre getting a card, it could so very easily have been red, I shouldnt have to remind them that its their responsibility for what they say, I dont lecture any team, no matter what age.'

He replied 'theyve been swearing all season and no referee has ever brandished a card for it so its a massive shock for the first thing they say to be cautioned.'

I reply, 'Thats other referees, in law if in my opinion I believe something to be worthy of a caution or a red card, i will give it, regardless of what other referees approaches are, *here i quoted law 12 for dissent as a caution and OFFINABUS for red*. They should know that any foul language towards me is a card.'

Him: 'Well thats stupid ref, so are you going to caution everyone that swears then? Everyone that swears I want to see booked. Why dont they do it in the prem then? You see swearing at the ref all the time so why dont they punish it, eh?'

Me: 'No, I'm only going to sanction any dissent towards me, or the opposition, mainly me, thats my discretion. If they swear, they run the risk of me sanctioning it which should be clear to them by now. Since I'd given something against him, I was the most likely aim of the f*ck off since his team mates nor opposition did anything so therefore under my discretion thats a card. As for the prem, I dont know, I dont referee there so I havent a clue why they dont do it.'

So yeah, after this little chat, went on to second half 90 secs left and the home team (10 men) make the score 1-2 and then a fight broke out after a defender from the home side ran the length of the pitch to start fighting the opposition keeper, *cue bedlam* sent them both on so finished 9v10 men! After the match the first dismissed player came up and said 'Im sorry ref, it wasnt aimed at you it was just frustration, yeah?' I then found out the parent i spoke to at HT was his father! Deary me, when will people learn eh?
 
Well it was when I had a player call me a cheat and funny enough the club linesman was his dad and I thought it was offside from my position. So I go over linesman tells me no offside so I give goal and then his son argues with him then finds he cannot win with his dad but then starts giving me dissent just as I'm about to get the next part kicked off he calls me a cheat then I'm saying player come here please, I get me card out and then because I'm near parents they start arguing that it should be a yellow so he starts walking away I call him again get his name show red and off he goes
 
"Cheat" = Red. No ifs, no buts, no maybes. Had one instance after a game where the manager makes a point of coming over to me to let me know of his displeasure. Lots of effing and blinding, which I'm letting wash over me, and then he drops the C word. "OK, what's your name fella?", "Why?", "I would have let the swearing go, but I'm not accepting being called a cheat. I'm going to submit a misconduct report." At this, another coach steps in, isolates the manager who's temper is escalating, and then has a word with me about the misconduct report: "I heard him call you a cheat, and I can only apologise for that, but please don't mention the swearing in the report - he's had misconduct reports for that before and it won't go down well with the club". I now politely excuse myself, get home and write it up - mentioning the swearing as well. Bearing in mind this was, I think, U13s - maybe even U12s, pretty inexcusable behaviour in front of his team - so I'd like to thank my CFA for the support and the punishment that he was given (cough).
 
Steve C said:
You should have told them at the start of the match.'
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I hate this more than anything. Along with 'do you want a word with the boys before'. I am aware some refs do this. But why should I have to stand there and tell them I'll be enforcing the lotg and not to swear etc. I've got enough on my plate controlling a game, I firmly believe the club should be having those conversations with their players. It's not up to me to set the acceptable level of behaviour. The clubs should set a high standard that matches the strictest of officials.
 
Dave,

I have had games like this and if literally EVERY decision is being loudly questioned, then's the time to get the captains involved.

Just point out that you're not having every decision questioned, easiest way is for them to stop it, otherwise you'll start issuing cautions for dissent, each time it happens.

Its worked for me in the past.
 
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