A&H

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D

Danny

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So today, I reefed two mini football matches and at 7's and 8s. Both teams I have hand in coaching.

First match went by without much incident I feel, a few judgements I thought went one way others the other. Then a few grumblings. Plenty of 'play on' advantage played.

2nd game, well thought it had started well. Gave a FK against the away teams player for a foul, then straight away again, same player handballed it.

Again played alot of advantage, and though all ok. Then ball gets kicked from one end of pitch to other and goes out. not sure I saw contact, but heard something so gave Goal Kick to which hear parents shouting
..What's this ref watching....utter joke.

Few mins go buy and away team losing by this point and they shoot, keeper saves on the line and I don't give a goal... crys from same parents that's a Joke ref ball over. I looked over and said all the ball over the line to count. It was, we'll call it 5-1 then. My response was, "call it what you want, I have the true score here" and tapped my pocket.

Then, similar thing to last week shout Red throw and point to a yellows before changing. Then pointed to a corner for a GK ( didn't shout what it was) so lowered for a GK.

Lost my thoughts a bit, was what I saw and dealt with right or parents screaming for things the right call. Was it that I didn't come across confident enough?

Back to big sided tomorrow, but made me question things and starting to not look forward to that game now.
 
The Referee Store
Hi Danny, it sounds as though you lost a bit of concentration and I expect you were rattled by the gobby parents and it got into your head. I think the learning is to jump on top of the gobbyness earlier... at this age group the parents are probably quite fresh into the Sunday morning emotional rollercoaster, and if they've never been spoken to by a ref to calm down or have some mutual respect then they need to be told. If you are not feeling confident to approach the angry mob, then go and speak to the appropriate manager and ask for him to settle the parents down and show some respect.

In terms of what happens when you make an error yourself - thats difficult, as it WILL make you look like you've lost a bit of confidence and if the parents are irate then it gives them ammunition to do stupid stuff like sarcastic clap, or laugh at you - stuff like that. And its very hard not to let them get into your head.

The only other comment I would make it about your ability as the ref to take the heat out of the game when you want - use your whistle, slow it right down and let everyone settle a bit. You mentioned lots of playing advantages, I don't think I've ever seen a ref play anymore than 1-2 advantage decisions in my sons U8 team... if you feel the heat in the game and you have an opportunity to stop the game instead of playing the advantage, then do it. That'll allow you to take a breath yourself, compose yourself and plan your next move.

Hope that helps! I had a bit of a crappy U13's game earlier on today including one kid calling me biased in the first half - I missed an offside call from the lino as I was in a bad position and had to disallow the goal much later than I was comfortable with but I recovered it. My 12-yr old lad was standing with the crowd so he was telling me at halftime what they were saying about me... quite amusing!

Good luck in the next one!
 
Cheers David,

All a learning curve I guess. it's a hard balance cause if you blow for every possible tackle, you'd never get started at this age. Arms are always looking up so could give pushes and shoves etc.

I had to laugh as he said said he was having a laugh at 5-1 comment. Once I gave him some back. I just don't likewise kids seeing that. Good point about talking to manager. Will bare that in mind.

Next week should be good fun. My sons new team versus my sons old team (which happens to be the same club my other two play for and I manage the u8s)
 
It is never nice to hear verbal from the touchline, if it's persistent personally I would be quite comfortable at the next break in play to speak with the manager of the parents in question and ask for him/her to have a word and calm things down. As David S said, if I've played an advantage, I may not the next time, if for no other reason than to help educate the lad who made the foul.
As for the ball over the line incident, if you're not sure you were bang on not to give it. If that irritates the 'halfway line committee', so be it. Your responsibility is to the fair running of the game, not keeping the HLC happy :)
The thing to keep in mind is that it's just 1 game, the slate is clear for the next game.
 
Possibly not the most diplomatic of advice but if you have it in your head that all parents are C**ts then it's a good starting position
Go with your instincts and bear in mind that you are the one out there that's taken the time and trouble to educate yourself on law ... You're the one that has trained to watch what is and isn't a foul etc ...
 
Thanks for the advice Mike.

I love Richards undiplomatic response too. I will remember that for years to come.
 
You have to learn to tune parents out.....except for the nasty stuff then get the home manager to sort and abandon if he doesn't.
 
U8s can be a horrible age to referee, in 7 seasons of ref'n some of the worst parents I have come across have been at this age! :mad:

Ref'd quite a lot of mini-soccer matches in my first 3 years and at a few tournaments since. 99% of the time you won't have assistants to help with line calls. At Corners, would always position myself on the goal line beyond the far post so I could get every player in my field of view and be in a perfect postion for potential goal line incidents. On one such occasion, a defender pulled off a "worldy" - mid air bicycle kick to clear off the line. "Halfway line committee" were adamant it should have a goal despite the fact I was standing directly in line and they wasn't! :wall:

As Minty says, you have to learn to tune out what is and what isn't relevant from the sidelines and over time with experience, this will become easier.

Nothing wrong with a bit of critical self analysis, the negative aspects of a game will often play on our minds, but at the same time to to think of some of the positives, things that you know you did right, pick yourself up and move onto the next game!
 
Danny said:
Plenty of 'play on' advantage played.

..What's this ref watching....utter joke.

Few mins go buy and away team losing by this point and they shoot, keeper saves on the line and I don't give a goal... crys from same parents that's a Joke ref ball over. I looked over and said all the ball over the line to count. It was, we'll call it 5-1 then. My response was, "call it what you want, I have the true score here" and tapped my pocket.
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@Danny Firstly - advantage. At these age groups, those little petty fouls that keep happening are down to a lack of skill and coordination, and in addition a real advantage a rare thing. I wouldn't even be calling them as fouls, and if you are calling advantage (in the true sense) you will be highlighting to the worlds best football manager that never was on the sideline that you are letting plenty of fouls "go". "Keep going", "No foul" etc allow the game to flow.

Secondly, don't get involved in a discussion with parents. I say this with some years of experience under my belt now, and on a few occasions having got in to those debates you wish you had never responded to in the first instance. As @Mintyref says later, tune the sidelines out. Even now I have to say to managers pre-match to shout loudly if they want a sub, as I just don't hear much from the sidelines any more. Actually, speaking to a friend who is a rugby referee, his tactic is to say to managers pre-kick off to put their hand up if they want a sub, and he refuses to respond to shouts of "Ref!". They soon learn... ;)

David Sampson said:
Hope that helps! I had a bit of a crappy U13's game earlier on today including one kid calling me biased in the first half
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@David Sampson And I hope you cautioned him as well, with perhaps a warning that if he had used the C word it would have been red.


Mintyref said:
You have to learn to tune parents out.....except for the nasty stuff then get the home manager to sort and abandon if he doesn't.
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Absolutely this. Perhaps ask the home manager to remind those parents how old the kids are that are playing, and that they are meant to be out there enjoying themselves, not listening to the nonsense coming from the sidelines.
 
Wouldn't get too down on yourself - mini soccer parents tend to be a bit of a nightmare if they get into your head. It's like they can smell blood at any sight of indecision and will go continue to bite away at you from then. You'll find that up the age ladder at around U15s/16s onwards, most of the parents have lost interest and don't bother to turn up!
 
We have all had 'those' games. That you recognise the flash points is great. Parents and supporters are always 'experts' and should be ignored entirely. My advice would be to get yourself a mentor through your CFA. Being observed by someone who knows the deal will do wonders for your development and confidence. You are never too old for this either, I am 47 and get monitoring feedback from a 24 year old. The first few seasons can be very lonely and disheartening, I assure you it gets better, much better
 
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