I’ve done a couple of games as a senior AR for the first time this season so managing the benches has been a new one on me. Because of no comma, one thing I’ve found difficult is dealing with coaches complaining about decisions, and I’ve found myself repeating the same things such as ‘the referee is in a better position, I’ll ask him at HT and let you know after’, ‘speak to the referee after the games’ and ‘I’m 40 yards away, I can’t tell you what they’ve seen’.
any tips on how you deal with this type of thing?
Yes, very good.
Also you can choose a point to be proactive - check that they understand why AR2 delayed a flag, or if they saw an advantage, shows you are human and "in the game".
Mix it up. If you keep saying "sometimes we see different things" they will starting taking the p**s.
The hardest for me is using comms when the bench and I have clearly seen a small foul on the ref's diagonal, and the ref has a great view and wants play to continue. I don't try to make something up, just be straight but DON'T BREAK THE TEAM: "sorry guys, I can't interfere there, the ref's made a strong decision, he's seen everything..."
Also share the love between benches. If I have had to talk to the near bench a lot for some reason, I will find an excuse - when the ball is being fished out for a far side opposite end corner - to go and say something to the far bench - even it is "I was just explaining the advantage, you got that"... my logic is that it is important to be fair and not appear to be coaching one bench.
Just don't let it become an argument, don't get distracted while the ball is in play. Smile sometimes. Laugh off the ridiculous appeals. Short stern words when appropriate.
(This has just been the season of bench management for me, so I have a horse in this
)
For anyone else reading. Remember, as a great mentor said: "DON'T BREAK THE TEAM". If you undermine your ref, you have failed, no matter if they are falling apart in the middle. Your job as AR is to help your ref keep match control.