The Ref Stop

Positive Comments

Martiju said:
Ok, mine's a little different. I started as an AR in a new league earlier in the season and was enjoying going out with new people. Had one guy from the Air Force who was really experienced. He gave an excellent briefing, had a pleasant but efficient manner and controlled the game really confidently, backing us up without ever being over the top.

When we were on our way out we were exchanging the normal pleasantries and I mentioned that he was probably the best ref I'd worked with in a long time. He was really pleased - and asked me why I thought that - which I told him of course. He thanked me and got in his car with a big smile. Made me feel good to think my words could have such a good effect - and I'd definitely not be shy in doing it again in the future now.
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I always try to make a point of talking with a referee - particularly younger referees - when I think they've done a really good job. Grassroots referees get so much stick that any sort of positive reinforcement is a big bonus for them. Since I often referee games around my son's matches on the weekends, I'm more often than not wearing some sort of warmup or t-shirt that is a USSF referee program shirt. I'm also an instructor and a board member for our local officials association, so I feel like it's part of my civic duty to continue to build up referees. They need to know someone is on their side.

I will also normally speak up if I feel like one of our team's parents isn't treating officials with the proper respect. Most of the time, the parents know my background and don't say anything. Or, they'll come up to me and ask what I think (it's actually good training to be a fourth official!!). What I always try to stress is that U13 is development for the referees as much as it is for the players.
 
The Ref Stop
I never get any positive comments.

This is because the players all hate me. The coaches all hate me too.

It's okay though because I hate them.

I guessing you lot all hate me as well.

I'm proper me.
 
Kes said:
I never get any positive comments.

This is because the players all hate me. The coaches all hate me too.

It's okay though because I hate them.

I guessing you lot all hate me as well.

I'm proper me.
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I'd say that you really need to read this book, but I think you already get the main idea of it . . . :D

 
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I get the occasional ‘best ref we’ve had this season’ which is always nice to hear even if I don’t always believe it!

I gave a dangerous FK against a team in the last minute once, 100% foul, the captain wasn’t best pleased with the call and declared “it’s your first bad call today”, to which I replied I’d take one bad one every match! I was happy as with the constant crying you’re never really sure where you stand in terms of your performance from the players perspective, for what it’s worth.

Best one came from my last assessor who mentioned my performance was what he’d expect from a Level 4.

Since then I’ve been told I’d be getting reported (losing side), have ruined a good game (losing side) and had a poor game (losing side)...I can’t put my finger on what the problem is 😂😂
 
Agree with those who say positive comments from the winning team should be taken with a pinch of salt (though I'm sure a lot are genuine).

I've actually noticed an increase in positive comments this season, which could partly be due to the fact that I feel like I'm refereeing well, but may also be due to the fact that people are (or were) just glad to be playing. A couple of examples:
- Sin binned a player in an U16 game (his team lost 5-1) and had a text from the manager after the game thanking me as he needed teaching a lesson; and
- U18 game that ended 4-3 (really challenging with a couple of reds and a mass confrontation) - had both managers seek me out at the end to check in and tell me I'd dealt with a tough game really well. I was particularly pleased with that one as red cards don't generally lead to compliments :rolleyes:
 
Eddie said:
I get the occasional ‘best ref we’ve had this season’ which is always nice to hear even if I don’t always believe it!

I gave a dangerous FK against a team in the last minute once, 100% foul, the captain wasn’t best pleased with the call and declared “it’s your first bad call today”, to which I replied I’d take one bad one every match! I was happy as with the constant crying you’re never really sure where you stand in terms of your performance from the players perspective, for what it’s worth.

Best one came from my last assessor who mentioned my performance was what he’d expect from a Level 4.

Since then I’ve been told I’d be getting reported (losing side), have ruined a good game (losing side) and had a poor game (losing side)...I can’t put my finger on what the problem is 😂😂
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There's a pattern, I just can't figure it out yet . . . :D

That happened last weekend to me. I ejected a parent who told me I was "terrible at best all game" as his team was getting beat 6-1 and his kid (who I cautioned for persistent fouling) was getting run around most of the game. The last game of my day, I was confronted by a parent who thought I missed a handling in the area on a play where the other team's defender played a ball and it came off his leg and hit his arm while it was practically right next to his body. Of course, this team had blown a 2-0 lead and was losing 3-2 when they felt they were wronged, so I'm sure the frustration was more about their team blowing a lead.
 
I refereed a cup final where one of the team managers told my 4th official before kick off they were pleased it was me as I was the best referee in the league.

Pretty sure he had changed his mind by the end of the game ... :)
 
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