The Ref Stop

Parent Asst Referee Behavior

Hendo16

Hendo16

New Member
Refereed my first game today (U14 boys). Decided to stop the game in the 2nd half as the club asst (parent) who took over in the 2nd half following a briefing, thought it would be ok to say to one of his players (who was having a bit of a handbags argument with the opposition) "just go straight through his legs and take him out, that will shut him up.". I told him he knew what he had said was not appropriate, his response "that's football", my response "not in the game I know. You won't be running the line any longer if you can give me the flag, I will ask for another assistant." (Which he did). I didn't red card and am not looking to report and their manager and other parents were very apologetic. Did I do the right thing, or should I have handled differently?
 
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The Ref Stop
clearly right to remove him as CAR—good decision. As he’s not a player or team official, it would be improper to show him a card. But I’d have had no problem if you’d had him removed from the playing area (I would have)--that kind of commentary is wholly inappropriate, especially in a youth game. IMO it should definitely go in the game report, but I don’t know if that is consistent with expectations where you are.
 
I think there's an argument to say you should report to CFA. He's encouraging a 13 year old to try and cause harm to another 13 year old, there is just no place for people like him in football. There's even an argument to say it is a child protection issue.
 
RustyRef said:
I think there's an argument to say you should report to CFA. He's encouraging a 13 year old to try and cause harm to another 13 year old, there is just no place for people like him in football. There's even an argument to say it is a child protection issue.
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Thanks for the feedback
 
In the U14 league where I am we submit match reports directly to the league (generally scores, were you given a team sheet, any issues), and can log 'respect' issues through the same process.

If the same process exists where you are I'd be reporting it through the 'respect' process and letting the league do their thing. Often they get passed on to CFA but it also allows them to keep a running tally of teams presenting this kind of issue.

Top marks for taking this line in your first match though!
 
I'd also advise that whilst you were right to remove the parent, I wouldn't advise doing so yourself.

This can easily turn nasty towards yourself.

I think you have done great as this was your first game, but next time I would ask the manager of that team to remove him.

Well done on your first game and welcome to the mad house.
 
Dino Ref said:
I'd also advise that whilst you were right to remove the parent, I wouldn't advise doing so yourself.

This can easily turn nasty towards yourself.

I think you have done great as this was your first game, but next time I would ask the manager of that team to remove him.

Well done on your first game and welcome to the mad house.
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Agree.

Have noticed that, when playing and officiating, if a spectator/CAR needs to be removed the close presence of the referee often only aggravates the situation.

The coach is likely to have built up a relationship with the spectator/CAR etc.., so likely to yield quicker and more effective results in removing the spectator/CAR alone.

Equally having said that, cowering away is not a good look either, so I have always recommended a middle ground whereby you take the time to chat with players etc, as the spectator is removed, but equally being alert and aware to any potential further misconduct you might need to observe.
 
Joe Harrison said:
Agree.

Have noticed that, when playing and officiating, if a spectator/CAR needs to be removed the close presence of the referee often only aggravates the situation.

The coach is likely to have built up a relationship with the spectator/CAR etc.., so likely to yield quicker and more effective results in removing the spectator/CAR alone.

Equally having said that, cowering away is not a good look either, so I have always recommended a middle ground whereby you take the time to chat with players etc, as the spectator is removed, but equally being alert and aware to any potential further misconduct you might need to observe.
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Yes, it is something to handle carefully and can be a fine line to tread. The only time I've ever had to do this was when a spectator was screaming abuse at the CAR and following them up and down the line.

I went to intervene mainly to show visible support for the CAR and said to the spectator that I was going to ask the home club manager to ask him to leave and we wouldn't be continuing until that happened. That gave him a chance to go of his own volition first - saving some (undeserved) face - and fortunately it worked. Otherwise I would have had to follow through with it.
 
Dino Ref said:
I'd also advise that whilst you were right to remove the parent, I wouldn't advise doing so yourself.

This can easily turn nasty towards yourself.

I think you have done great as this was your first game, but next time I would ask the manager of that team to remove him.

Well done on your first game and welcome to the mad house.
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Unless I am missing something obvious, he didn't remove the parent, rather just relieved him of his duties as CAR.
 
Always check the laws, modifications, and rules for matches.

Some of mine require, not suggest, that I go to coaches to handle their parents.

My other game assignments, I am to handle the parents.

It depends on the organizations. I had coaches agree with bad parents so we dont go to the coach to deal with bad parents. My one league lets us toss the coach if they dont deal with a parent.

Whatever....
 
We don't use CAR, but as far as I am concerned any AR is under direct instructions of the referee. So in this case if the R just wants the parent not to be a CAR, he has done everything correct. But if he wants the parent to no longer be in the vicinity of the field, he has to first (only) relieve him of his CAR duties as he did in OP. Then go to the manager and ask him to remove the parent from the vicinity of the field.
 
Dino Ref said:
Regardless I still wouldn't advise doing so yourself.

Is it not the managers responsibility to find a new AR?
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The CAR is part of your team, even if they aren't qualified, and it strikes me as a little cowardly to get someone else to take the flag off him. Obviously if he is ranting or threatening violence it is different, but here that wasn't the case.
 
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