My first game impressions

[Karl J.]

Hi guys, I saw other threads with first games but I decided to make my own.

I did my first game today and it was horrible. I started straight with adults football so I think it was even harder. (i thought it will be easier than kids game but i guess i was wrong..)

I will begin:
I arrived very excited to my local park 1 hour before kick off and I saw there 3 groups of people preparing, I asked all of them but neither was my teams i was supposed to ref. I didn't know what to do, I went to changing room and noticed a table with pitch numbers and teams. I found it, I went there but it was empty... I didn't know what to do again, but after while I saw teams coming and it was only 30 minutes left to kick off, I started to panic that I will not be able to check everything on time. (they just started to build goals while other 3 matches I noticed already had everything and started their warm up)

I checked the ball and pitch quickly.they knew it's going to be my first match and I guess they used it against me. I asked for team sheets but neither of team provided it and one coach (who was playing goalkeeper) said he doesn't have and he doesn't do that, so I had no names...

I told them that I will do equipments check 7 minutes before kick. It was very difficult to get them to come in center circle, all of them were laughing and making jokes (I thought like they have never did this before)

I tossed my coin and then started match. first 10 minutes were terrible, I felt like where am I? Everything was going very quickly it was difficult to follow play. They moaned about every decision I or my assistants made. I think I mistaken teams couple of times... One guy said ref don't let influence them your decision and his team did exactly the same after 1 minute.

I heard ref word like 1000 times and they were very angry that I didn't answer to their questions (someone said ref you pissing us off) but i thought I cant stop play and answer to all their questions, or if I did it during the game I will not see what's happening on the ball.

first half ended 0-1 and then after 5 minutes i saw all of them standing and ready (I thought they will have 15 minutes break)

after the break home team made comeback and they won match 4-1.

Substitutions were also terrible, they changed so quickly that I didn't notice who came off and who came on, I didn't even record it after that because I had no names anyway.

There was very dangerous two foot tackle and one player got really hurt, even some spectators run to check him. I believe it was red but honestly I was afraid to show and gave him only yellow and then he made comment "ref sun shining I can't see the card) luckily no one complained about the card.

I also had problems with throw-ins to see if the ball is out of play (maybe I was in wrong position?)

some players said ref he called you that and that, but English is not my first language so I didn't hear anything.

After the match only 3 or 4 players came to shook my hand so I was really upset (not even from winning team someone came)

so my morale is down to 0, my all confidence is gone and thanks for reading..

 

[bester]

Have you got the league handbook? That should tell you whether team sheets are a requirement, many Sunday leagues will say 10 minutes maximum half-time break although you'll find teams rarely take much more than 5 minutes. In law the substitutes must be named so if they don't give you the names don't let them on (easier said that done on your first game).
If you don't have the confidence you need to blag it, teams will feed off weakness. Your County FA should've given you a mentor to come and watch your early games, get on the phone to your RDO and get them to do their job.

 

[HRW]

Dont know how old you are but besides - we all have to do soemthing for the first time. school / lessons, exams, new places, experiences, first time behind the wheel of a car . first day at work etc etc.

So, Deep breath, sit down and relax ......

now, after you FIRST match (lets not detract that this if your first) you know what it feels like to be in the middle of a full speed game.

Game 2 you now know what to expect, and what they will be calling for.

Loads of questions ? well answer the important ones, or the serious one, and ignore the rest.

I think it was you i said but if not would suggest - write 5 things you got right, 4 you are unsure on and 3 you know you got wrong. read up / ask about the 4 unsures, and you can confirm the wrongs and turn them into rights.

So, you found where you were going. Tick
You were on time, did you pitch inspection - tick
Asked for your sheets, tick - got fobbed off - boo.
You know what you shoud have done - tick,
Did anyone die / get life changing injuries / ambulance / carried off on a stretcher? No

Will the guys go home and probably have a whinge about "todays ref", laugh it off and move on to the next game / thing that peeves them off? Yes
Should you take a deep breath, plan for your next game and take the lessons from this one - yes. You will have better games, you will have worse games, but you will move onwards and upwards from them all.

remember, even the Pro's sit down on a Monday and go thoruhg their games in detail and pick out the right and wrongs of their game (inc redefining what a dive is hopfully!)

better?

Edit: Have you got a mentor / someone that can come and watch and advise or support? (you mum might not be the best option, but your County will give you someone if you ask)

 

[Karl J.]

Dont know how old you are but besides - we all have to do soemthing for the first time. school / lessons, exams, new places, experiences, first time behind the wheel of a car . first day at work etc etc.

So, Deep breath, sit down and relax ......

now, after you FIRST match (lets not detract that this if your first) you know what it feels like to be in the middle of a full speed game.

Game 2 you now know what to expect, and what they will be calling for.

Loads of questions ? well answer the important ones, or the serious one, and ignore the rest.

I think it was you i said but if not would suggest - write 5 things you got right, 4 you are unsure on and 3 you know you got wrong. read up / ask about the 4 unsures, and you can confirm the wrongs and turn them into rights.

So, you found where you were going. Tick
You were on time, did you pitch inspection - tick
Asked for your sheets, tick - got fobbed off - boo.
You know what you shoud have done - tick,
Did anyone die / get life changing injuries / ambulance / carried off on a stretcher? No

Will the guys go home and probably have a whinge about "todays ref", laugh it off and move on to the next game / thing that peeves them off? Yes
Should you take a deep breath, plan for your next game and take the lessons from this one - yes. You will have better games, you will have worse games, but you will move onwards and upwards from them all.

remember, even the Pro's sit down on a Monday and go thoruhg their games in detail and pick out the right and wrongs of their game (inc redefining what a dive is hopfully!)

better?

Edit: Have you got a mentor / someone that can come and watch and advise or support? (you mum might not be the best option, but your County will give you someone if you ask)

I'm young, 20 years, but I look younger and I think most of the players were older than me and they knew it's going to be my first match, I believe they used it against me. One guy said "ref, can you show me yellow"?

No, I don't have mentor.

 

[HRW]

You are the boss. It's your game. They start when you tell, they wait when you tell them and by heck they stop when you tell them. If confidence is not your strong point then work on being assertive when you are right, or when you want it.

99% of the time, confidence can hide your fears, and they will get the impression that you are in charge, and control of the game.

 

[RegalRef]

R

You are the boss. It's your game. They start when you tell, they wait when you tell them and by heck they stop when you tell them. If confidence is not your strong point then work on being assertive when you are right, or when you want it.

99% of the time, confidence can hide your fears, and they will get the impression that you are in charge, and control of the game.

Listen to @HRW there Karl, he's given you great advice.

I gave an offside today and couldn't see a defender who was actually playing him on (view was obstructed). Inside I thought 'sh1t, couldn't see him, he was playing him on', but outwardly don't waver, shout loud and get ready for the next passage of play and players will accept 95% of your decisions.

 

[Karl J.]

Have you got the league handbook? That should tell you whether team sheets are a requirement, many Sunday leagues will say 10 minutes maximum half-time break although you'll find teams rarely take much more than 5 minutes. In law the substitutes must be named so if they don't give you the names don't let them on (easier said that done on your first game).
If you don't have the confidence you need to blag it, teams will feed off weakness. Your County FA should've given you a mentor to come and watch your early games, get on the phone to your RDO and get them to do their job.

Thanks, I contacted my league and they told me that they don't need to provide team sheet, I have to ask for name only for cautions.

You are the boss. It's your game. They start when you tell, they wait when you tell them and by heck they stop when you tell them. If confidence is not your strong point then work on being assertive when you are right, or when you want it.

99% of the time, confidence can hide your fears, and they will get the impression that you are in charge, and control of the game.

I agree with this and I believe that I don't have it, any tips how to get this character and confidence?

 

[DaveMac]

Firstly congrats on getting through your first game. It's always the hardest. Mine I was a nervous wreck and literally dying after 15 minutes as I spent it sprinting full speed to stay up with the ball.

Getting there an hour early is fine. Better to be too early than late. You got your pitch inspection done, again that's great. Equipment inspection and last weeks ref won't help as so often this isn't done. All I'd say is you tell the manager when you want to do it and call them in. I find being polite is the best way, it's their warm up so you don't want to take up ages of that, but at the same time you need to do your job. If a team makes it difficult or it causes the match to kick off late then report that to the league. I would imagine the handbook will tell you, up but teams will be fined for causing a kick off to be delayed without good reason. A team won't be happy to fork out cash because their lads can't get their boots checked in good time. On the day it doesn't help you, but next weeks ref will be better off as that team will fall in line quicker.

Getting confidence is hard and certainly not going to happen over night. But gets games under your belt and a lot of things your thinking about now become more natural and you can start to enjoy it. You'll find your own style and what makes you feel confident.

For me personally I find more confident by acting as a referee should. In my day to day life I'm not in an authoritive position so when it comes to refereeing I almost feel like a step out there and play a character. I can't be my normal self, I have to step out of that and be someone different. So rather than being Dave Mac as I normally am, I have to be Dave Mac the referee and as such deal with things differently than I would in day to day life.

We all make mistakes, move on from them. We've all made mistakes that have lead to goals, move on. Just make sure you learn your lessons from these mistakes. Everyone dwells on their mistakes, but don't forget to dwell on what you do right as well. Those decisions you get nailed on. Everyone else might think you got it wrong, but if you know you got it right that's why you're out there.

Finally don't under estimate how important the fact your the only neutral out there makes a difference. Team A will think every throw in is there's, so will team B. That's football. When you have an interest in a game it's hard to look at things impartially. When I watch Spurs I'm annoyed if even the most obvious penalty is given against us, and fuming if one of our players goes down in the box under a gust of wind and we don't get a penalty. I'm also aware as a ref this is stupid of me, but taking a neutral position in the heat of the moment can be difficult. So essentially just try and ignore the players!