Meet me half way

[OnlyUseMeWhistle]

Been noticing some issues with players where I call them over to me for a talking to or a sanction and it just serves to annoy them more because no one likes being told what to do like that.

I picked up a tip from a fellow official of saying come here and pointing to a third spot away from players and getting them to walk over there so you're both moving a bit so it doesn't feel like either is conceding.

What do people think?

 

[OIREF!]

I'm in total agreement with this approach.

 

[FirsFox40]

Best approach IMO. Feels a bit like neutral ground, we’re both going over here aren’t we fella (etc).

 

[Kes]

Have always done it.

Sometimes difficult to "isolate" the player but by doing the above, you're making it easier for them to cooperate with you.

Having said that, refusing to cooperate with a match official's (reasonable) instruction is a cautionable offence in itself so you've always got that (card) up your sleeve.

 

[The Gump]

I'm pretty certain that this approach was taught/given as a tip on the course, and is something I've found myself doing naturally rather than "summoning" a player over.

 

[RustyRef]

Absolutely the right thing to do. Saying come here, or even yes please, whilst standing still makes a referee look like a school teacher and is very likely to lead to an adverse reaction.

 

[ChasObserverRefDeveloper]

In the basic course, we teach the triangle approach ("With me, please, five") as you move a few steps to a neutral spot.

 

[OldNavyRef]

Just as @ChasObserverRefDeveloper said, I start walking off to the side of them like a triangle, but I still keep close to them, so I can speak to them without raising my voice, even if they are trying to walk away.

At first I try to be as reasonable as possible "I need you to just meet me over here", If they keep walking back, I remind them that dissent by action is a pointless way to get sin binned, I also say this loud enough so captain or teammates can have a quick input. They eventually come meet me.

If you hold your ground, you'll be shouting from 20/30 yards and you really create a barrier to them wanting to work with you.

 

[DJIC]

Another tip, if you are bringing a player over to calm them down.

Telling them to calm down is unlikely to work, telling someone as a referee or anyone else for that matter to calm down won't work.

The key is to acknowledge the issue that is making them frustrated/angry, then you can say ‘I need you to calm down’.

“I get your frustration you think that is a penalty, but I need you to calm down, my view was …..”

Use the usual hands down body language, lower voice etc.

If that doesn’t work, red card

 

[OldNavyRef]

If that doesn’t work, red card

Then after the card rinse and repeat: “I get your frustration you think that isn't a red card, but I need you to calm down”